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A HANDBOOK 

OF 

HOSPITALITY 



FOR 



TOWN AND COUNTRY 



BY 

FLORENCE HOWE HALL 

Author of " The Correct Thlnfe," " Social Customs," etc. 




BOSTON 

DANA E5TE5 & COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 






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Copyright^ igog 
By Dana Estes & Company 



All rights reservea 



HANDBOOK OF HOSPITALITY 



Electrotype d and Printed hy 
THE COLONIAL PRESS 
C. H . Sitnonds &" Co., Boston, U.S. A, 



248966 




gintrotiuction 



lOSPITALITY is one of the 
earliest virtues of civilization 
and one of the latest as well. 
Leaders of the Peace Move- 
ment recognize international 
hospitality as an important 
factor in promoting *' Peace on Earth, Good 
Will toward Men." 

Its form must change with the develop- 
ment of mankind, but the essential spirit re- 
mains the same. In a simple state of society 
such as existed in the Middle Ages, the rich 
man entertained all comers at his table. By 
gradual steps the private host changed into 
the landlord of the hotel, and hospitality be- 
gan to take on a more intellectual aspect. 
Among the most highly civilized nations of 
modern Europe, the material part of the en- 
tertainment is considered of much less im- 

[5] 



INTRODUCTION 



portance than agreeable conversation, the 
happy exchange of sentiments and ideas. 
When Olcott, one of the sages of Concord, 
said, " I accuse T. Carlyle of inhospitahty to 
my thought," he spoke in the true modern 
spirit. 

We of the Anglo-Saxon race still believe 
in the slaying of the fatted calf, to which 
there is surely no objection, if our gatherings 
around the social board have the intellectual 
tone of the Greek symposia. We should do 
well to copy the best features of these won- 
derful banquets, with their feast of reason 
and flow of soul, rather than the gluttonous 
suppers of the Romans in the days of the 
Empire. 

In the sudden development of enormous 
wealth in our own country, there is some 
danger that we shall be dazzled by the pomp 
and display of the very rich and that we shall 
lose sight of the true nature of hospitality. 
It does not consist in gorgeous show and 
ceremony, although these may sometimes 
form its accompaniments. It consists in the 
sharing with our brother the enjoyment of 
our possessions, whether these are material 

[6] 



INTRODUCTION 



or spiritual. The duty of hospitality is a 
part of the Christian duty of giving to 
others. 

The host who takes his friends for a spin 
over beautiful country roads, in his comfort- 
able motor-car, exercises a delightful and 
gesthetic form of twentieth century hospital- 
ity. We do not all possess automobiles, but 
we can all share our thoughts and aspirations 
with our friends and give them a warm wel- 
come to our fireside. 

The aim of this little book is to show forth, 
so far as may be, the true spirit of hospitality 
and to give hints for its exercise in accord- 
ance with present day customs. The author 
sincerely hopes it may prove of assistance to 
the hostess, whether she live in town or in 
the country. 

Floritnce Howe Hall. 



[7] 



ContentjS 



CHAPTER PAGE 

Introduction 5 

PART I 

I. The Country Hostess and Her 

Problems 11 

11. Picnics and Country Frolics . . 22 

III. Country Weddings 34 

IV. House-parties, Guests and Guest- 

Chambers 45 

V. Unexpected Visitors . . . . 61 

PART II 

VI. The Flat-dweller and Her Difficul- 
ties 72 

VII. Afternoon Teas and Receptions . 87 

VIII. Luncheons . 101 

IX. How TO Give an Agreeable Dinner . 116 

X. The Day of the Dinner . . . 132 

XI. Dances 148 

PART III 

XII. Twentieth Century Costume Dances 

and Masked Balls . . . .169 

[9] 






CONTENTS 



CHAPTER 

XIII. 

XIV. 

XV. 

XVI. 

XVII. 



XVIII. 
XIX. 



XX. 



XXI. 

XXII. 

XXIII. 



PAGE 

Musicals and Private Theatricals . 176 

Card Parties 196 

Studio Teas and Bachelor Entertain- 
ments 206 

Class-day and Commencement Fes- 
tivities 223 

Women's Clubs 236 

PART IV 

Hints for Club Festivities , . . 247 
Novel Ideas for Patriotic Entertain- 
ments 255 

Progressive Dinners, Barmecide's 
Feasts, Magic Suppers, and Other 

Novelties 264 

The Stranger within Our Gates . 277 

Hospitality in Modern Europe . . 289 

Outgrown Ideals of Hospitality . 304 



[10] 



Cf)e flantiljoofe of flospttalttp 

FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

PART I 
CHAPTER I 




THE COUNTRY HOSTESS AND HER PROBLEMS 

INY woman who has Hved for 
any length of time in the 
country is sadly familiar with 
the problems confronting the 
country hostess. Men and 
things tend to concentrate 
in cities. There seems to be some mysteri- 
ous attraction which constantly draws every- 
thing within its reach, cooks, fresh eggs, the 
very fish of the sea, to the great centres of 
trade and commerce. 

[11] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

In providing for her guests, nay, often 
in securing these, the country hostess must 
fight a series of battles royal with this great 
centripetal force, which drags everything 
from her grasp. 

She will soon grow discouraged unless she 
remembers that there is another law which 
works in an opposite direction. Just as the 
cities cannot exist by themselves, and must 
draw their supplies from the surrounding 
country, so the minds and souls of men would 
starve, did they not from time to time " Re- 
turn to Nature." This centrifugal force 
works most strongly, of course, in the heated 
months, when stone pavements and arid 
wastes of brick seem so odious in the towns, 
and even the rulers of the kitchen prefer 
the seaside or the mountains " For a time." 

The country is beautiful however, even 
in winter to those who know and love it. 
The almost unbearably rapid pace of our 
city life, and the imitation of our British 
brethren, have combined to bring people 
back to rural localities, at all times of the 
year. They are beginning to find " The 
quiet of woods and meadows " the best tonic 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

for tired nerves. The country hostess should 
take comfort in the thought that Fashion 
is coming her way. She should remember 
also that when she invites her city friends 
to spend a week-end with her, she often does 
them a real kindness. 

The servant problem is a very serious 
one to the dwellers in small communi- 
ties. Yet even this offers advantages to 
those who look at things in the right way. 
The woman who finds it difficult to procure 
competent help, and impossible to prevent 
their sudden departure, learns to rely more 
on herself and less on the angel of the 
kitchen. If she is wise, she will make her- 
self familiar with household arts. She will 
take lessons in cooking, from some notable 
neighbor if no training school is at hand. 
She will even learn how to kindle and how 
to dump the kitchen fire. Instead of a help- 
less being, absolutely dependent on the ca- 
prices of foreign mercenaries, she will 
become a capable and truly independent 
house-mistress, who can herself look after 
the comfort and well-being of her guests 
whenever this is necessary. 

[13] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

The same spirit of self-reliance should 
lead her to train a daughter, or even a young 
son, to wait on the table. I have seen a boy 
of twelve perform this service very accep- 
tably. His mother explained the situation 
to us, which indeed required no explanation 
beyond telling us who he was. The coun- 
try hostess and her family, who " Know how 
to do things," can meet their guests with 
the serenity born of knowledge of their own 
powers, — provided always they do not at- 
tempt to do too much! Half the troubles 
of rural hospitality arise from the mistaken 
efforts of the hosts to copy the ways and the 
entertainments of dwellers in cities. This 
is not desirable and not possible, for any 
save very rich people. 

As we pass out of the smoky and dusty 
town, and go farther and farther into the 
country, we leave behind us more and more 
the elaborate products of civilization and re- 
turn nearer and nearer to Great Mother 
Nature. From her we learn the important 
lesson of simphcity. We feel by instinct 
the appropriateness of simple dress as we 
walk abroad on country roads; and the 

[14] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

same simplicity, quiet and dignified, should 
characterize country life in all its phases. 
This alone gives us the feeling of repose 
and rest which is especially delightful to 
those who have come from the bustle and 
rush of a great town. 

Simple things need to be excellent, and 
the rural hostess should make the necessary 
effort to provide for her guests the best 
products of the country-side — fresh fruit, 
vegetables and eggs, chickens that have 
never darkened the door of the cold-storage 
warehouse, cream and milk that have never 
travelled by train. It sometimes requires 
forethought and contrivance to procure 
these, but they are always appreciated and 
are infinitely more appropriate to the coun- 
tryside than the elaborate dishes which adorn 
city feasts. 

Our country hostess holds other trump 
cards in her hand. Fresh and invigorating 
air, the beauties of natural scenery, quiet 
and repose, all these she should be able to 
offer her friends. I am afraid however that, 
like the rest of mankind, she is too often 
occupied with thinking of the difficulties un- 

[15] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

der which she labors, rather than of the ad- 
vantages that she possesses. 

We all know it is not easy to heat 
a country house in the depth of winter, and 
our hostess may be so anxious to keep her 
friends warm as to forget the necessity of 
having her dwelling thoroughly ventilated. 
Here again she will do better if she does 
not attempt to follow city methods too 
closely. Steam heat and hot-air furnaces 
may be sufficient in a closely-built block, 
but in a detached wooden house they should 
be supplemented by open fireplaces, those 
best of ventilators. Nothing is so cheerful 
and cosy as a blazing wood fire on a winter 
evening. 

The country hostess who remembers the 
advantages of her situation, who occupies 
herself with trying to give her guests all 
the pleasant things the neighborhood and 
her way of life afford, will have a cheerful 
and robust attitude of mind. This will be 
infinitely more agreeable to her friends than 
the apologetic tone induced by dwelling on 
one's own shortcomings or those of the sur- 
roundings. " Who excuses himself, accuses 

C16] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

himself," and a hostess should rarely apolo- 
gize. In order to make her guests enjoy 
the country, she must herself be fond of it. 
Perhaps she has been transplanted from the 
city and would prefer to return there if she 
could; this need not prevent her from get- 
ting all the pleasure possible out of her coun- 
try residence, and passing it on to others. 
She should study the beauties and resources 
of her neighborhood, find out the pretty 
walks and drives, ascertain what points of 
interest there are within walking, driving 
or " motoring " distance. She should have 
a quick eye too, to perceive the things that 
may interest people coming from a distance. 
The village saw-mill, which she passes every 
day, is to her only a saw-mill on the river's 
brink, a very familiar and uninteresting ob- 
ject. But to her young friends from the 
city it may appear an enchanted palace of 
delight. The whirr of the revolving saws, 
the swift rushing up and down of the little 
platforms, the drawing in of the big logs 
floating in the river below — all is novel and 
mystical to them. 

In order to be a perfect rural hostess, one 

[17] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

must not only love the country, but must 
also have out-of-door tastes and occupations 
which guests may share. No matter how 
large and finely appointed a villa we pos- 
sess, our friends will hardly feel satisfied 
unless a part at least of their entertainment 
is under the blue vault of heaven. Whether 
we offer them horses to ride or drive, motor 
cars, open-air sports, or only tea in the ar- 
bor and a stroll through the garden, we 
should if possible take them out into the 
open. When an Englishman visits a friend 
in the country, he always asks " To see the 
Estate," and we Americans sometimes laugh 
and blush as we show him about the few acres 
with which we have done so little! The 
present craze for formal and other gardens 
is changing all this, and it is taking people 
into the open air. It is now the fashion to 
serve meals, especially breakfast and after- 
noon tea, on the lawn or the verandah. Our 
country hostess should certainly give her 
friends the pleasure of repasts out of doors, 
weather permitting. This is a little trouble 
but it pays. Better two courses served thus 
than half a dozen in a stuffy dining-room 

018] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

on a hot evening. Every one has a good 
appetite in the open air and the green trees 
and blue sky make the simplest meal a 
pleasure. 

" But I do not like to eat breakfast under 
the eyes of my neighbor," says Mrs. Sub- 
urban. Certainly not, have a privet or 
honeysuckle hedge around your premises, if 
the neighborhood is not educated up to the 
point of a walled garden. 

A foolish wave of expansiveness swept 
over our country a few years ago, causing 
householders to take down their fences and 
throw their grounds absolutely open to the 
eyes of all beholders, and to the feet of 
all wandering dogs and other stray animals. 
This fenceless and unprotected condition is 
now taken so much as a matter of course 
in many localities, that real indignation is 
shown if a householder possessing a love of 
privacy and of outdoor life ventures to sur- 
round his own grounds with a wall, thus fol- 
lowing a custom which is well-nigh universal 
in France and England. A gentleman who 
did so, in a town less than thirty miles from 
New York, endeavored to mitigate his of- 

[19] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

fence by planting ivy on the outside of his 
brick walls. This was speedily trampled 
under foot by his irate neighbors, who con- 
sidered the enclosure in the light of a per- 
sonal insult. 

If privacy is not only allowable but proper 
in one's dwelling house, why not also in 
one's grounds? We do not make the walls 
of our houses of glass, nor even of paper 
like the Japanese. If you wish to be sure 
of making your toilet without supervision, 
in the land of the Mikado, you must take 
the precaution of tying together with string 
the little paper sliding screens or partitions 
that divide you from your neighbors. The 
love of privacy belongs to a higher civi- 
lization; and the people, who at first blush 
object to walls and enclosures, wdll recon- 
sider when it is suggested to them that the 
purpose of these is to enable their neigh- 
bors to make the garden a place to live and 
work in. 

The country hostess makes a great mis- 
take when she invites her neighbors to her 
house only on rare and ceremonious occa- 
sions. Nothing is pleasanter than to drop 

[20] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

in informally and take a meal with a friend 
in a quiet way. Monotony is a danger of 
rural life, and these little friendly vis- 
itings make an agreeable change, without 
overtaxing the strength or the purse of the 
hostess. Guest and host are probably both 
very busy women, full of household cares. 
They will return to these, refreshed in 
spirit, after a pleasant chat over the supper 
table. Too often however, a rural hostess 
is so anxious to do her duty as a good house- 
wife, and to set before her guests an elab- 
orate display of eatables and drinkables, 
that she exhausts herself in making prep- 
arations, and is too weary to enjoy the so- 
ciety of her friends, or to make them have 
a good time. 

In a word, her efforts at hospitality are 
so strenuous that they defeat themselves. 
She has not yet learned the charm of sim- 
plicity. 



[21] 




CHAPTER II 

PICNICS AND COUNTRY FROLICS 

pTHING is more delightful 
than a country frolic, provided 
time and place are suitable 
and the guests persons of the 
right sort. Good spirits, good 
temper, imagination and a 
sense of humor are essentials to the success 
of such an occasion. We cannot expect that 
a whole company will be thus happily en- 
dowed, but there should be enough fun- 
loving and good-natured men and women 
to act as a leaven for the rest. It is impor- 
tant to have at least one humorist, who can 
see the amusing side even of a misfortune, 
and make the rest laugh. 

I remember a family picnic where every- 
body was justly incensed at the stupidity 
of the Irish cook. This faithful woman, 
having received orders to make the sand- 

[22] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

wiches " half strawberry jam and half cold 
beef," complied literally with the directions 
as she miderstood them. Now nothing is 
more odious than beef and jam combined in 
a single sandwich, unless it be the same in- 
gredients happily mingled in several dozen. 
We tried conscientiously to eat them, but 
it was impossible. Every one looked sad 
or indignant until the humorist saw the ab- 
surdity of the situation and broke into peals 
of laughter. Soon we were all laughing 
merrily ! 

The imaginative man is as necessary as 
the humorist. He must supply the touch of 
poetry which makes a ride in a hay -rigging 
romantic and delightful, while to the pro- 
saic soul a springless wagon and a load of 
straw convey no meaning, unless it be a 
sense of discomfort and a fear of dampness. 
Fortunately young people are usually full 
of both fun and romance, if they have not 
been spoiled by the too great luxury of our 
modern city life. 

In the country where cultivating the soil 
is the business of life, men are brought into 
close touch with the earth and realize their 

[23] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dependence upon its bounty. Hence rural 
festivals from the earliest days have gath- 
ered about the fruitful phases of Nature — 
beginning with Easter, the glorious resur- 
rection from the death of Winter, and end- 
ing with the Harvest in its many varieties. 
Country frolics celebrating the great events 
of the farmer's calendar, have the sanction 
of old tradition, as well as the inestimable 
advantage of fitness. They are in reality 
the festivals of labor, rejoicings in the tri- 
umph of man's industry cooperating with 
Nature's bounty. Hence the idea of cheer- 
ful work, in which all should join, followed 
by play, underlies them. This idea should 
if possible be maintained, modified to suit 
modern tastes, since our generation does 
not love manual labor. Yet we all in- 
stinctively feel that at a country merry- 
making every one should make himself use- 
ful. That is a part of the fun. The lazy 
and purely ornamental person, who is in- 
capable of doing anything, always seems out 
of place at a picnic. All need not work; 
but all should be ready to work if it should 
be necessary. 

[24] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

We are beginning to understand in 
America the beauty and value of old asso- 
ciations. Fortunate is the town or village 
which continues to celebrate rural festivi- 
ties, established by old tradition! It is wise 
to keep them up, preserving all the touches 
of local color, and by no means omitting 
the old-fashioned country refreshments. 
Unfortunately doughnuts and pie require 
the vigorous digestion that accompanies a 
life of bodily activity, so that for persons of 
sedentary habits it is necessary to add some 
other simple items to the bill of fare. 

If we import forms of merry-making, we 
should be careful to have them suitable to 
the season and to the natural tendencies 
of our people. Never shall I forget the in- 
clement May-days of my childhood, and the 
little Irish children shivering in their thin 
white dresses and crowns of paper flowers, 
on Boston Common. The first of May is 
doubtless balmy and delightful in the Mother 
Country, but in New England it finds Win- 
ter still lingering in the lap of Spring. In 
our Northern states those who follow the 
beautiful old custom of going a-Maying 

[25] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

must wait for a good day, and carry plenty 
of wraps. Many a delightful picnic did we 
have as children in that merrie month. The 
most poetic ended by the seaside, and we 
cast garlands into the sea, wondering to 
whom the waves would carry them. Then 
we returned home, bringing in our hands 
the dehcate spring wild flowers, and in our 
minds pictiu-es of shore and woodland 
beauty, never to be forgotten. 

Even in snow-bound INIaine the pretty 
custom of hanging JVIay-baskets still per- 
sists. Dainty paper baskets, decorated with 
artificial flowers and containing candy, fruit 
or other goodies, are hung on the handle 
of the door. The giver rings the bell, then 
runs away and hides, but not too well, for 
old tradition prescribes that he must be 
chased, brought back and hospitably enter- 
tained. According to the more primitive 
and romantic method, a kiss is exchanged. 

The uncertainty of the weather is always 
the great obstacle in the path of the country 
hostess, who is planning some out-of-door 
frolic. The telephone has now come to her 
assistance, even in remote spots, so that she 

[26] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

may invite her guests or postpone the af- 
fair, at short notice. A friendly barn or 
a sheltered verandah, sometimes proves a 
pleasant refuge from a sudden thunder- 
shower. A hospitable country gentleman 
had colored panes of glass set around his 
parlor windows, so that his friends, look- 
ing through these, could behold the tender 
green of Spring, the yellow tones of Mid- 
summer, or the red hues of Autumn, even 
when skies were dull and rain pouring down. 
The passing of the scythe has divested 
haying time of some of its old picturesque- 
ness, but the scent of the freshly cut grass 
and the beauty of the fields still remain. 
Truly delightful is a supper party in the 
meadows, where the new-mown hay is piled 
in little fragrant cocks. The sun sinking in 
the west, perhaps a slender new moon hang- 
ing timidly in the sky, like a bashful maiden, 
the frogs whistling in the marshes, the de- 
licious odor of the fresh hay, all combine 
to charm the senses. To drink lemonade 
through the slender straws of drying grass 
is a part of the pleasant programme. A 
pitcher of the old-time beverage — molasses, 

[27] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ginger and water — should certainly be pro- 
vided, as it is supposed to be very satisfying 
to thirst. Doughnuts and pie or sand- 
wiches and cake, may complete the simple 
supper. A good story-teller is a pleasant 
addition to a hay-stack party, although he 
must not feel hurt if the younger guests 
stroll away in couples. A small hay-cock 
makes a very comfortable back for two per- 
sons to lean against. 

If the guests are muscular as well as 
merry, they may hke to whet their appetite 
for supper and help the farmer, by tossing 
the hay and piling it up into the traditional 
little green mounds, while the sun sinks in 
the west. After the sweet-smelling crop has 
been gathered in, and while it is still fresh 
and fragrant, a barn-party is in order. 
There is a mysterious charm about a barn, 
enhanced by the sense of dangers remem- 
bered from childish days. Does not one 
recollect Thomas Blank who lost the ends of 
his fingers in the hay-cutter, and Susy 
Nameless who almost slid on the tines of 
a pitchfork lying in wait for her? Tales 
of adventure seem highly appropriate in 

[28] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

this setting and as the shadows fall, all may 
adjourn to the hay-mow and listen to thrill- 
ing ghost stories. 

The simple country supper should include 
new milk, warm from the cow. The com- 
pany sit about on milking stools, piles of 
hay or other improvised seats. Sometimes 
supper is served in the house and a proces- 
sion is made afterward to the hay-mow, each 
guest carrying a lighted lantern. 

Husking bees still survive in some parts 
of our country. Youths and maidens still 
look for the red ears among the corn, amid 
much blushing and laughter, if they turn 
up in the hands of the right couple. Cider 
and apples taste very good after the exer- 
cise of stripping the husks from the corn. 

With dances in the barn every one is fa- 
mihar. If a village fiddler can be procured, 
one who will call the figures for old- 
fashioned country dances, stamping his foot 
to mark the time, it adds greatly to the fun. 

The Harvest Home is one of the pret- 
tiest and most easily arranged of rural fes- 
tivals. It may begin with a short religious 
service of Thanksgiving, the church being 

[29] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

decorated with fruit, ripe grain, flowers and 
vegetables. A midday lunch under the trees 
follows and gives the country housewives 
a chance to display their skill in bread- and 
cake-making. If the weather is at all cool, 
hot coffee makes an excellent addition to 
the feast. 

To most of us one great charm of the 
picnic in its endless varieties consists in its 
simplicity. Yet we must beware of confu- 
sing simplicity with carelessness. No enter- 
tainment can be successful unless somebody 
gives thought and attention to it. A suit- 
able place must be selected, the baskets must 
be well packed, no necessary article must 
be forgotten, the food must be good of its 
kind. Some other form of amusement be- 
side eating arid drinking, even though it is 
a very simple one, should be provided for the 
guests ; and this requires a little forethought 
on somebody's part. If there is an artist 
present, very effective tableaux can be ar- 
ranged with little trouble, the greenery 
forming a lovely background. Scenes from 
the old Greek Mythology are especially 
adapted to such a setting, while a few sheets 

[30] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

and pillow-cases will do wonders in repro- 
ducing classic draperies. Perhaps amateur 
actors who can give a scene from " As you 
like it," or some other sylvan drama, are 
among the guests. A screen of woven 
boughs stretched between two trees, may 
separate the stage proper from the tiring- 
room. 

Impromptu charades are excellent for 
out-of-door occasions, the improvised sce- 
nery and odd stage properties adding to the 
amusement. If some one has brought a 
guitar, a banjo or a mandolin, popular 
songs make a pleasant programme, although 
singing in the open air is said to be bad for 
the voice. The fancy dances now so much 
in vogue, are never prettier than on the 
greensward. 

One of the most charming meetings of 
the Newport Town and Country Club was 
a Botanical Picnic at Paradise Rocks. The 
guests searched diligently for wild flowers, 
and after luncheon a Professor of Botany 
dissected and explained the flora of the 
locality. 

A pretty fancy for people who are fond 

E31] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of poetiy is to prepare, with the aid of 
" Bartlett/' a number of short quotations. 
These are written on shps of paper which 
are cut in two in such a way as to separate 
the hnes. A member of the company pins 
these to the different trees, after the f asliion 
of Orlando. Each guest takes down a shp 
and tries to find liis or her affinity, namely 
the person who has the other half of the 
quotation. 

A list of comitry merry-makings would 
be incomplete, did it not include the Rhode 
Island clam-bake, of mid}4ng fame and 
popularity. The great drawback to it is 
the length of time required to prepare the 
repast — clams cannot be gathered in a 
moment and heating the stones red-hot is 
a slow process. When the guests have ad- 
mired the great mound of bivalves, deco- 
rated with circles of chicken, corn and lob- 
ster, when they have seen the wet seaweed 
put on, and the whole covered by a great 
rubber blanket, the initiated know by sad 
experience that a long waiting is still before 
them. Games, songs, stories, the plaiting 
of oak garlands for the table, some form 

[32] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of entertainment is necessary to occupy the 
company until the feast is ready. 

I have thus attempted to sketch in out- 
line some country merry-makings, not with 
the idea of exhausting the subject, but rather 
of furnishing hints for the assistance of the 
young hostess. If she is ingenious, she will 
evolve many improvements and additions. 
The informality of such occasions makes 
them very elastic, and pleasant novelties 
may readily be combined with or substituted 
for the good old ways, if people grow tired 
of these and want a change. 



[33] 



CHAPTER III 



COUNTRY WEDDINGS 




|0W lovely is the closing scene 
in " As You Like It," where 
the true lovers plight their 
troth " Under the greenwood 
tree!" The Temple of Na- 
ture is surely the most beauti- 
ful and the most fitting for the performance 
of the marriage ceremony : — we strive to 
imitate it, so far as we can, by filling the 
churches with greens and flowers, making a 
counterfeit presentment of Paradise. For 
Paradise, as all the world knows, was in a 
garden, and no poet would dream of locat- 
ing it in the streets of a crowded city. 
Happy the bride whose marriage takes place 
on the smooth greensward, under the high- 
arching trees of a lovely country-place, 
whether it be 

** In spring-time, the only pretty ring-time " 

or in the full glory of midsummer. 

Ii34] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

The perennial interest and romance at- 
taching to a wedding are sufficient to make 
beautiful any marriage ceremony which 
unites two people who truly love each other, 
even though it take place in the Mayor's 
office. But the country bride has an im- 
mense advantage in her surroundings. 

In the city, weddings have come to be 
stereotyped affairs and are too often oc- 
casions of a display to which many persons 
seriously object. The bride is the centre 
of a gorgeous pageant produced by the 
joint efforts of florist, dress-maker, milliner 
and caterer. In the country there is more 
simplicity, a greater opportunity for the ex- 
ercise of individual taste, and greater friend- 
liness. There is also a certain delicate, in- 
tangible atmosphere of home, which too 
often evaporates in the crowded haunts of 
men. 

The hands of loving friends may twine 
the decorations for the village church or for 
the house if it is to be a home wedding, weav- 
ing a bit of sentiment, a touch of poetry into 
their work, which we must not expect to find 
in the stereotyped labors of the hired florist. 

[35] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Now that we are recovering from the foolish 
old superstition about the month of May, 
the bride may stand in a bower of freshly- 
gathered apple blossoms, or of roses from the 
home garden if June be the month chosen. 
In the Autumn beautiful effects are obtained 
from the golden and crimson leaves mingled 
with the bright hues of the late Fall flowers. 
Even bluff Winter contributes its share of 
home-grown decorations — cedar, pine and 
holly in our cold North, laurel, smilax and 
live oak from our bright Southland. 

In the country, the neighbors are for the 
most part friends. Many of them have seen 
the bride grow up and blossom into woman- 
hood. They take a real interest in her and 
if this is sometimes expressed too freely, if 
uncalled-for advice or criticism is offered, 
the intent is usually kindly. 

Surely there is friendliness in cities also, 
but there our neighbors are too much en- 
grossed with the rush and hurry of life, to 
pay much attention to a bride not belonging 
to their own special circle. 

Hence young women of wealth and high 
social position often prefer to have the wed- 

[36] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ding take place at the family home in the 
country, rather than at the city dwelling. 
Indeed a fair bride of my acquaintance 
carried this sentiment so far that she en- 
trusted the making of her bridal dress to the 
village dress-maker. The latter was so 
pleased and proud that she fairly outdid her- | 

self! 

A wedding affords a country hostess a 
great opportunity to display her hospitality, 
for there are almost always friends from a 
distance to be entertained. If the parents or 
near relatives of the groom are among these, 
she will receive them beneath her own roof, • 
if possible; or she will arrange for their 
pleasant accommodation at the houses of 
friends and neighbors. Indeed her own 
dwelling and those of all connected with her 
will make themselves highly elastic, and will 
take in all the guests who can in any way 
be bestowed. 

Where nothing better can be done, she will 
engage rooms for relatives or friends at the 
village hotel or at a suitable boarding house. 
Even in this case, she can show her hospitable 
intent by sending one of the family or a 

[37] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

friend to meet them at the station; if the 
friend possess a carriage or an automobile, 
so much the better. To be thus personally 
conducted to lodgings, by somebody inter- 
ested in one's comfort, who will act as a 
friendly go-between, bespeaking the favor 
of the landlord, is much more agreeable than 
to go alone to an unknown hostelry in a 
strange city. A bunch of flowers placed 
beforehand in the room, may breathe a fra- 
grant welcome and show the thoughtfulness 
of the absent host. 

A dinner or supper, on the evening before 
the wedding, is sometimes given at the house 
of the bride's parents or other relatives. It 
is a pleasant attention to the guests staying 
elsewhere, and shows the desire of the hostess 
and her family to extend all the hospitality 
which circumstances will permit. 

Does some one ask whether the mother of 
the bride should pay for the entertainment 
of friends staying at a hotel? If she has in- 
vited them to come to the town or village 
as her guests, she will do so; otherwise it is 
not obligatory. A wedding necessarily in- 
volves much expense, and it is not good 

[38] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

economic policy to make it so costly that only 
people of wealth can afford to invite their 
friends. 

Sometimes the town or village is so near 
a large city that guests can go from there 
and return on the same day. In this case, 
people of wealth often charter a train or 
extra cars. An engraved invitation takes 
the place of the usual railroad ticket, and 
guests should be careful to send acceptances 
or regrets, in order that the hosts may know 
how many cars to provide. 

It would seem needless to mention this, 
had not experience shown that people are 
very thoughtless in such matters. 

If the day prove pleasant, the country 
hostess may expect that many guests will 
appear, even though they have sent no an- 
swer. Vehicles of some sort should meet 
people from out-of-town invited in this way, 
and if the procession include a great variety 
of these, it will be so much the merrier. Au- 
tomobiles, omnibuses, barges, carriages of 
all sorts, all the resources of the neighbor- 
hood may be impressed. Even where no 
railroad tickets are sent and no special cars 

[39] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

provided, conveyances are often sent to meet 
the guests at the train. But if the day is 
fair, the house or chmrch near the station, 
and the hosts people of moderate means, it 
will be sufficient to provide carriages only 
for elderly people, or for those who might 
find walking difficult or unpleasant. These 
questions each hostess must decide for her- 
self. The important thing is to show the 
hospitable intent, and every one should do 
so in accordance with his means. It is 
neither right nor in good taste to impoverish 
ourselves in attempting a hospitality which 
we cannot afford. The country host should 
always make sure that some vehicles are at 
the station, even if he does not pay for them. 
Where many guests from out of town are 
expected, the ceremony usually takes place 
in the daytime. If the hour fixed is at mid- 
day, a substantial collation should be served 
to those guests invited to the house. To 
country housewives giving themselves much 
anxiety about croquettes, pates, and other 
elaborate dishes, it should be said that noth- 
ing is better — and nothing more popular 
with male guests — than good substantial 

[40] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

roast beef. At a wedding-breakfast served 
lately at the country-house of a lady of 
wealth and position, the bill-of-fare con- 
sisted of bouillon in cups, hot roast beef with 
carrots and green pease, lettuce salad with 
French dressing, ice-cream, cake, coffee and 
candies — ending with cigars for the gen- 
tlemen and a box of wedding cake laid at 
each place. Champagne also was served, 
but it is not now so customary as it was for- 
merly to give wine at a wedding. The bride 
and groom with their nearest relatives sat 
at a large oval table, the rest of the guests 
having their places at small tables in the ad- 
joining rooms or on the wide verandah. 

This mode of service calls for a number 
of waiters. A simpler and easier method is 
to have the refreshments dispensed from a 
large central table or a buffet, the guests 
sitting or standing about, the gentlemen 
waiting upon the ladies, the daughters of the 
house perhaps assisting. If the day is fine 
and the grounds large enough to ensure 
privacy, the collation may be served out-of- 
doors. A tent is sometimes put up, by way 
of a dining-room. 

[41] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Since customs linger in the country after 
they have been given up in the city, it is 
pretty to keep up some of the old fashions, 
such as having the bride cut the cake, and 
the bridesmaids search diligently for a ring 
in the fragments. Toasts or speeches belong 
properly to the formal wedding-breakfast, 
where all are seated within reach of the 
speaker's voice. This English custom does 
not seem to find much favor with us, al- 
though we are a nation of speakers. 

Where toasts form a part of the pro- 
gramme, the father of the groom or the best 
man usually proposes the health of the bride 
and groom, the father of the bride respond- 
ing. It seems cruel to ask the groom to an- 
swer this toast, yet he is sometimes expected 
to do so, and proposes the health of the 
bridesmaids, the best man replying for them. 
At weddings where there is no speech-ma- 
king, the best man may simply propose the 
health of the newly-married couple. All the 
company stand, glass in hand, pledging 
them to long life and happiness. In these 
days of Temperance reform, the drinking of 
toasts is often purely figurative in our coun- 

[42] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

try, since it is considered unlucky to drink 
a person's health in water, and many people 
take nothing stronger. 

At a formal wedding breakfast, the bride 
and groom head the procession to the dining- 
room; the bride's father with the groom's 
mother comes next, followed by the groom's 
father with the bride's mother, the best man 
with the first bridesmaid, then the other 
bridesmaids with the ushers. Or the offi- 
ciating clergyman may take in the bride's 
mother, and they may come last as the host- 
ess does at an ordinary dinner. 

The bride and groom sit at the head of 
the table, her mother at the foot, with the 
groom's father and the clergyman on either 
side. 

The evening is usually the time selected 
for a wedding in a small community, because 
every one is busy in the daytime. This gives 
the hostess the whole day for her prepara- 
tions, and as all the guests will have had their 
evening meal, she need only serve light re- 
freshments. Oysters, salads and ice-cream 
are always popular, but it is perfectly proper 
to serve only cake and wine or some form of 

[43] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

fruit-sherbet or coffee, in the house of a per- 
son of strict Temperance principles. Some- 
thing will depend on the means and position 
of the host, as well as on the number of 
guests invited. Where many people are 
asked, the hostess will make an effort to 
supply a more bountiful entertainment; but 
for a few intimate friends this is not neces- 
sary. 

If she or one of her friends, chooses to 
show her skill by providing some special 
dish, this will add to the pleasure of the 
guests. The stereotyped suppers every- 
where given in cities are chosen because it 
is easier to give them — and because expe- 
rience has shown that people like them. For 
this reason our country hostess should be 
careful to provide some of the regulation 
dishes, as every one does not like novelties. 

The pleasant old fashion of dancing at a 
wedding seems appropriate to the country. 
The bride leads with the groom or with the 
best man, but she takes part only in a quad- 
rille or in some quiet dance. After she has 
left, a Virginia reel makes a merry ending 
to the festivities of the evening. 

[44] 



CHAPTER IV 

HOUSE - PARTIES, GUESTS AND GUEST - CHAM- 
BERS 




flT is easier for a hostess of ex- 
perience to entertain half a 
dozen persons than one or 
two, because the guests amuse 
each other — provided always 
that the house is sufficiently 
large and well-appointed to make all com- 
fortable. This is the principle of the house- 
party, but it contains two big '' ifs." 

If you are a novice at housekeeping and 
unaccustomed to having people stay over- 
night, it will be much more prudent to com- 
mence with one or two guests. There are 
many advantages in thus making a simple 
and modest beginning. If something goes 
wrong, if the milkman does not arrive in 
time for breakfast or the rolls are left too 
long in the oven, the friend under your roof 

[45] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

should readily excuse the accidents which 
will happen as every housekeeper knows. 
But if you have been so ambitious as to in- 
vite five or six people to stay with you, you 
wiU be blamed for undertaking too much. 

The second " if " is as important as the 
first. It is better not to attempt a house- 
party, unless you have enough room at your 
command to make all the guests comfortable. 
This is one reason of the superiority of Eng- 
lish to American hospitality. It is not 
strange that British men and women should 
entertain better than we do, because after 
the practice and experience of centuries, they 
have reduced hospitality to an exact system. 
An English host knows therefore, just what 
to do for his guest, and he does it. He does 
not worry constantly lest he should have 
omitted something, and long practice gives 
him ease. When one visits a friend in Eng- 
land, one is conscious of a constant thought- 
fulness for one's welfare, yet all is so quietly 
done that there is no sense of being " fussed 
over " or of being over-entertained. 

It adds greatly to the guest's peace of 
mind if she is invited for a definite period, 

[46] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

a week, a fortnight or a week-end, as the 
ease may be. Some hostesses say vaguely, 
" a few days," meaning two, four, or pos- 
sibly ten! Said an Englishwoman of the old 
school, to an American friend who was urg- 
ing her to prolong her visit, " Stay longer 
than a week, on a first visit at a gentleman's 
house ? Never, my dear — I could not think 
of doing such a thing! " 

There was a quaint and excellent old rule 
in this country, formulated at a time when 
people drove in their own carriages to see 
friends living at a distance. This limited 
the visit to two nights. The day of arrival 
was called Guest Day, the second. Rest 
Day, because it was necessary to remain long 
enough to rest the horses. The third was 
Pressed Day, when the visitors were urged 
or pressed to remain longer, but firmly re- 
fused to do so. 

The host or some member of his family 
should if possible meet the guest at the sta- 
tion and escort her to the house, or send a 
conveyance for her. One should always ask 
a friend arriving from a distance, whether 
she will have some light refreshment, unless 

E47] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the meal hour is close at hand. She should 
be shown to her apartment with little delay. 

Our young housekeeper should make sure 
that the spare room and its bedding have all 
been thoroughly well-aired and that the 
temperature is neither too warm nor too 
cold. A thermometer should be a part of 
the furniture and in the winter there should 
be some means of heating and of cooling 
the room. Among the many guest-chambers 
which I have occupied, tw^o supremely un- 
comfortable ones arise in my memory. In 
the first there was a large air-tight stove 
burning fiercely close to my bed; in the 
second there was no heat save that given by 
the flame of a small kerosene stove, utterly 
inadequate to cope with the icy air of a large 
room in a country house, with the mercury 
below zero ! 

At a third house, where I was entertained 
with great kindness and with lavish hospi- 
tality, my bedroom pitcher contained no 
water. This has happened to me more than 
once. It should therefore be clearly stated 
that in every guest chamber there should be 
a washstand and its furnishings, including 

[48] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

soap, unless a private bath room is attached 
to the apartment. To be obhged to wander 
about the hall, in a strange house, every 
time you wish to wash your hands, is ex- 
tremely disagreeable. The pitcher should 
be filled at night as well as in the morning 
and a can of hot water should be brought 
to the door before breakfast and before din- 
ner. It is also extremely desirable to ar- 
range matters so that the guest can have a 
daily " tub," either in her own apartment or 
in the bath room. Many people now have 
this habit and it is a real privation to them 
to lose the daily plunge. A maid servant or 
some member of the family, usually draws 
the water where it is expected to have the 
guest use the family bath room, summoning 
her when all is in readiness. A supply of 
fresh towels should always be at hand, with 
a bath mat on the floor. 

Our hostess should take a peep into the 
bureau drawers and the closets, to see 
whether any member of the family or a pre- 
vious guest has carelessly left any of her be- 
longings there, and to make sure that the 
expected visitor has at least one bureau 

[49] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

drawer and part of a closet, in which to put 
her things. Of course a whole closet is bet- 
ter. Spare rooms that are only occasionally 
used are often neglected by servants. It is 
not quite pleasant for a lady to find a half- 
smoked cigar or other debris on her dressing 
table. The furniture of the room should in- 
clude a basket for waste paper and a small 
receptacle of some sort placed on the bureau, 
for burnt matches and other odds and ends. 
Pins are indispensable and hairpins very 
desirable. Oh, the sad desolation of those 
highly decorative pincushions in guest cham- 
bers, hard as Pharaoh's heart, and utterly 
devoid of pins! The other little adjuncts of 
the dressing-table, such as button-hook, 
clothes brush, scissors and nail file, are also 
appreciated by the feminine guest, who may 
have forgotten some of her own supplies. 

There should also be a light-stand beside 
the bed, provided with a candle and matches. 
Electric lights are excellent in their way, but 
nothing gives the guest such a sense of se- 
curity as the presence of a box of matches. 
A guest-chamber to be really complete must 
contain some provision for rest in the day- 

[50] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWH AND COUNTRY 

time. To be confronted with a bed covered 
with lace and crowned by high stiff pillows, 
is rather depressing, where there is no couch 
in the room. A light robe or fancy blanket 
should also be provided for those who take 
an afternoon nap. Some thoughtful host- 
esses have a wrapper and soft shoes ready 
for the guest. A desk or a table with wri- 
ting materials is now thought indispensable. 
A dainty suburban housekeeper of my ac- 
quaintance provides pencil and blotter to 
match the prevailing color of the room, to- 
gether with baggage tags and a time table. 

If there is a bedroom clock, its ticking 
should be of a subdued character and the 
striking attachment should not be wound up. 
The sound of cathedral chimes on your man- 
telpiece in the middle of the night is not ex- 
actly agreeable. A well-furnished work- 
basket is often found a convenience by the 
feminine visitor and a few good books tend 
to make the room attractive. 

The guest should always find a pitcher or 
at least a glass of cold drinking water when 
she goes to her room at night. A tumbler 
of milk, a few crackers or some other light 

[51] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

refreshment is often added. Pretty china 
sets intended expressly for this purpose can 
now be readily obtained. Many housekeep- 
ers remove the white spread for the night. 
The bed clothes should also be turned down, 
the night-dress, wrapper and soft shoes or 
slippers being neatly laid out. 

It is always well to make some provision 
for the blacking of boots, although a 
thoughtful guest when staying with friends 
of moderate means will not leave her shoes 
outside her door, without first ascertaining 
whether it will inconvenience her friends to 
have this service performed for her. 

It is always polite to have some one escort 
a stranger downstairs on her arrival, as she 
will hardly know where to go and will be 
afraid of intruding on the family privacy. 
Meals should be announced by knocking on 
the doors of those guests who are in their 
rooms, unless a bell is rung or as is now 
considered more elegant, a gong is sounded. 
A dressing bell ten or fifteen minutes before 
a meal is a great convenience. 

So many persons prefer to breakfast in 
their rooms that it is well to offer a guest 

[52] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the opportunity of doing so, if the equip- 
ment of the household permits. In a sub- 
urban town, where the men of the family 
take early trains and breakfast is a hurried 
meal, it is often easier for the hostess to send 
a tray upstairs at her convenience, than to 
have her guest come down and be a victim 
to the inevitable haste, or to keep the dining 
table standing until a late hour of the morn- 
ing. Such a tray need contain only a very 
simple repast — tea or coffee, eggs, a cereal 
or fruit, with bread and butter. This ar- 
rangement leaves the hostess and her friend 
both at liberty to spend the morning hours 
as they please. Hence a guest need not 
hesitate to accept the offer to send up her 
breakfast, if she has reason to suppose it will 
not inconvenience her hostess. Many of us, 
mindful of the early bird, prefer the old- 
fashioned American way of coming down to 
the meal, but it takes all sorts of people to 
make a world. 

" Make yourself entirely at home." 
" Do as you would in your own house." 
These phrases are favorites with some 
people and are used with kind and hospit- 

[53] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

able intention. They show us the good-will 
of the host, but they remind us of the im- 
propriety, not to say impossibility, of beha- 
ving in another person's house exactly as we 
would in our own. If I should take my 
hostess at her word, if I should order her 
servants about or invite a friend to dinner, 
what an astonished woman she would be! 
No two households are run precisely alike, 
and the guest who has delicacy of feeling 
ascertains the rules of the house where she 
is staying, and tries to conform to them. 
The thoughtful hostess does not content her- 
self with repeating these empty formulas 
— she endeavors to make her guests feel at 
home, and to give them opportunities for 
spending their time pleasantly. 

This is the great advantage of the house- 
party, for a number of people entertain one 
another. The wise hostess suggests excur- 
sions or amusements, but she does not insist 
too much on the carrying out of her ideas. 
She offers an alternative, if possible, and al- 
lows her guests to make a choice. While 
she does not forget those staying beneath 
her roof, she does not give all her time to 

[54] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

entertaining them (unless the visit is very 
short) . A sensible guest prefers to arrange 
a part, at least, of her time every day, and 
dislikes very much to feel that she is a source 
of anxiety to her hostess. The latter pro- 
vides with careful forethought for the pleas- 
ure and comfort of her visitors. As we have 
said she does not forget them, yet she should 
not feel it necessary to lay aside all her ac- 
customed occupations and devote herself 
wholly to her friends. If she should at- 
tempt to do this, the visit would lose half its 
pleasure both for host and guest. 

Our young housekeeper should arrange 
some amusement for the evening or allow 
her friends to do so. Alas! tastes differ so 
widely that the same things do not amuse 
everybody. Hence it is well that the pro- 
gramme should have variety where this is 
possible. While the present mania for 
bridge-whist continues, the hostess must ex- 
pect that cards will occupy the entire eve- 
ning, if her guests are devotees of the game. 
So popular has it become in certain circles 
that some knowledge of bridge-whist is an 
important accomplishment for a girl who 

[55] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

wishes to be invited to the week-end parties 
now in vogue. As we have said elsewhere, 
a hostess should not allow gambling to be 
carried on beneath her roof. This bad cus- 
tom is by no means so general in fashionable 
society as some novelists would lead us to 
suppose. JNIany women who move in the 
best social circles neither play for money 
themselves, nor permit others to do so in 
their houses. 

Our hostess will not forget that cards are 
a terrible bore to some people, especially at 
midsummer. To be obliged to play whist on 
a hot summer evening is unpleasant to all 
save enthusiasts. The lady of the house tries 
to make every one have a good time — but 
she can only do her best. If she thinks the 
majority are satisfied, she will not interfere; 
but she will try to prevent the sacrifice of 
the company for the amusement of one or 
two selfish or thoughtless persons. 

The Victor talking-machine is a valuable 
adjunct to the week-end party. A good in- 
strument with the records of the best opera 
singers, now easily obtainable, the favorite 
waltzes and the latest thing from the vaude- 

[56] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWK AND COUNTRY 

ville, adds to the gayety of the company and 
gives very httle trouble. 

Motoring is a very popular amusement 
at all times of the day, especially where the 
roads are good. The host who lives by the 
riverside or at the seashore can easily pro- 
vide many amusements for guests. There 
should be bath-houses for those who like a 
dip into fresh or salt water, and motor-boats, 
canoes, rowboats or seafaring craft of some 
sort for those who like and know how to 
use them. A careful host will not permit 
a tyro to undertake the management of 
that most treacherous of vessels, a little sail- 
boat. 

The great popularity of athletics enables 
the country hostess to offer her friends a 
variety of pleasures. Tennis continues to 
hold public favor, golf remains popular, 
croquet and archery have their votaries. 
Horseback riding, which was eclipsed for a 
time by the craze for motoring, is once more 
in vogue. Our modem belles can swim like 
fishes and ride like Scott's Di Vernon. Bowl- 
ing has been revived of late and bowling 
alleys are now a feature of some country 

[57] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

houses. Roller skating continues to be pop- 
ular. A favorite amusement for the eve- 
ning or indeed for any leisure moment, is 
the " broken picture " puzzles. The interest 
in these is so absorbing that learned profes- 
sors in university towns have sat up half the 
night solving them, it is said. Table tennis 
furnishes another source of amusement pop- 
ular with young people. 

Occasionally a hostess is so fortunate as 
to have among her guests some one with a 
talent for amusing others and unselfish 
enough to take pleasure in doing so. Such a 
person is an invaluable " Hostess' assist- 
ant " and is always popular. In the country 
there is often a pleasant neighbor who can 
be counted on to run in and help entertain 
the guests — asking them to her house or 
perhaps getting up a sailing party or a pic- 
nic. Our young housekeeper will do well 
to form pleasant relations with others near 
her, making them her friends and allies. 
Each woman can then feel that she has some 
one to rely on, who will help her out at a 
pinch. 

A hostess will be careful not to appear to 

[58] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

hurry in any way the departure of her 
guests, but where she knows they propose 
to leave on the next day, she will inquire the 
night before what train they prefer to take, 
in order to make the necessary preparations. 
If the journey is to be a long one, involving 
the necessity of engaging sleeping-car or 
other special tickets in advance, the host 
should offer to do this in good season. While 
dining-cars make it less necessary than for- 
merly to provide luncheon for a traveler, it 
is kind to offer to do this. Such a lunch 
should not be too bulky. It must be daintily 
prepared and should consist of sandwiches, 
fruit or other articles of food easy to eat 
without " mussiness." 

It is eminently proper to speed the part- 
ing guest, but not to nag him. A nervous 
hostess sometimes hurries and flusters her 
friends, in a mistaken effort to help them 
get off. If one is told every moment " You 
will certainly miss the train if you don't 
hurry," one is very apt to lose the astral 
calm necessary in o];der to launch one's self 
and all one's belongings successfully on a 
long journey. The procrastinating person, 

[59] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

who is not ready till the very last moment, 
and then expects to be driven to the station 
at top speed, is certainly a very trying guest. 
Our hostess will be careful not to show too 
much zeal in assisting her departure. For 
it must always be evident that we speed the 
parting guest, not because we wish to be rid 
of her presence, but because she herself pre- 
fers to go, having once decided to do so. 



[60] 



CHAPTER V 



UNEXPECTED VISITORS 




jOW that the telephone and the 
telegraph have penetrated al- 
most every part of the coun- 
try-side, we are much less lia- 
ble than of old to receive visits 
that are wholly unexpected. 
A considerate guest usually makes an effort 
to announce her coming. Unforeseen con- 
tingencies will arise however, making our 
friends start on sudden journeys; letters and 
messages are sometimes delayed. 

A beautiful memory of one sudden arrival 
comes to my mind as I write. I was sleep- 
ing soundly on a summer morning, dream- 
ing of the old French troubadours. Some 
one was singing under our windows, in the 
soft half-light of the early dawn, the praises 
of hospitality. 

" L'Hospitalite — I'hospitalite ! ! " 

[61] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

was the refrain, repeated over and over 
again. As the clear full voice rang in our 
ears, my sister and I gradually awoke from 
our sleep, to realize that we were not dream- 
ing. There was but one person of our ac- 
quaintance romantic enough to announce his 
coming in this way. " Uncle Sam! Uncle 
Sam! " we exclaimed in delight and soon the 
beloved uncle, bringing always store of 
goodies for us children, was ushered into 
the house and made welcome. 

I have less pleasant memories, to be sure, 
of sudden arrivals, when the same dear sister 
and I were awakened in the night by the 
news that a number of relations had arrived 
unexpectedly and our room must be vacated 
immediately. On one occasion the house was 
so crowded that my young brother was 
obliged to sleep on the piano! It was not 
a very comfortable bed certainly, but the f im 
we have all had in recalling his plight has 
far more than made up for any temporary 
inconvenience that he suffered. 

On another inauspicious occasion a friend, 
well-known for her exceeding candor, drove 
out to dine with us in the country, on the 

[62] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

chance of finding my Mother at home. At 
that time Rhode Island butchers called at 
rare intervals, bringing little except the 
meat of the native sheep. My Mother wajs 
greatly chagrined when her guest refused 
the proffered mutton, saying with great dig- 
nity, " My Grandfather X never could eat 
lamb and I never can! " 

Fortunately there was a little cold chicken 
to save our reputation as housewives worthy 
the friendship of the stern X family. 

If we live six miles from a lemon and re- 
mote from the all-pervasive trolley, let us 
remember that this very isolation makes the 
exercise of hospitality all the more impera- 
tive. In the city the traveler can go to a 
hotel, but in the country he is dependent on 
the kindness of friends or strangers. Hence 
the beautiful hospitality of which we read in 
our Old Testament and which is still prac- 
tised in full measure by the Arabs of the 
desert, was and is a necessity of their situa- 
tion. Without it travel in thinly settled 
regions would be impossible. As the 
stranger approaches he calls out, " Oh Mas- 
ter of the tent, a guest from God!" To 

[63] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

which the Arab rephes, " Be welcome, all 
will be easy! " Preparations for the enter- 
tainment of the guest on a liberal scale are 
then made, much as they were in the time of 
Abraham. Although he may be entirely un- 
known to his host, he and his horse are given 
comfortable quarters for the night and the 
best that the tent affords is set before them, 
all without money and without price. Yet 
we sometimes grumble when our own dear 
friends arrive at inconvenient hours. I am 
afraid we are growing selfish and lazy in 
this luxurious age! 

If we mean to be truly hospitable and I 
think we all do, no matter how far our per- 
formance may fall short of our intentions, we 
must keep on hand some provision for the 
unexpected guest, especially if we live at a 
distance from the base of supplies. Home- 
made jams, jellies, pickles and canned fruits, 
the many varieties of fancy crackers and bis- 
cuits now easily obtainable, prunes, figs and 
other dried fruits, nuts, cheese, maccaroni, 
vegetables that will keep (in winter), ham, 
bacon, smoked beef and fish, any and all of 

[64] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

these our rural housekeeper will find use- 
ful. She can fall back on canned goods as 
a last resort (provided they are of the very- 
best) , but as we all know, the recent agita- 
tion for pure food makes people look 
askance at articles put up in tin, or that have 
come out of cold storage. 

" If thou hast much, give of thy goods ; 
if thou hast little, give of thy heart," says an 
Arab rule of hospitality, very comforting to 
the housekeeper when her supplies run short. 
We of the Anglo-Saxon race, living in a 
cold climate, place altogether too much em- 
phasis on food. Food is only a small part of 
hospitality. Man does not live by bread 
alone and we must all avoid paying too much 
attention to the material welfare of our 
guests and thus depriving both them and 
ourselves of the pleasures of the social inter- 
course which is their real object in coming 
to our houses. We do not go to see each 
other for the purpose of eating and drink- 
ing solely, nor yet of gazing upon handsome 
table furniture. We enjoy the good things 
of life when they come in our way, but we 

[65] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

visit our friends because we want to see 
them, not because we are anxious to behold 
their best table-cloths and napkins. 

Is it not often the suddenness of a guest's 
arrival and the consciousness that our house 
is not looking its best, which thus makes 
us over-anxious hke Martha about many 
things? The tidy housekeeper whose rooms 
are always in good order, who keeps a supply 
of clean towels, bed and table linen on hand, 
ready for any emergency, should be able to 
receive the unexpected visitor with unruffled 
serenity. It is often well to ask such a guest 
how long he can stay, explaining that you 
wish to make suitable preparations to enter- 
tain him, but that you do not want to lose 
the pleasiu*e of the visit. We all sympathize 
sincerely with that enthusiastically neat lady, 
who insisted that a friend should have the 
refreshment of a bath the moment he arrived 
at her house. He had been travelling for 
many hours and she was sure he would find 
a cool plunge grateful and invigorating. 
When he reappeared in the drawing-room 
half an hour later, it was to bid her good- 
bye! If she had inquired in the beginning, 

E66] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

she would have learned that he had only that 
length of time to spare before resuming his 
journey. The country hostess who left her 
unexpected visitor alone in her little parlor 
all the afternoon, while she herself prepared 
biscuits and cake galore for her friend's 
supper, has been well described by one of 
our New England story-writers. 

A young matron of my acquaintance is 
much wiser than that; it is her pleasure to 
have her country neighbors drop in to take 
pot luck with her without special invitation. 
She will say perhaps, " We have a nice leg 
of mutton for dinner to-day. Do stay and 
share it with us." If she is uncertain about 
the condition of the larder, she will excuse 
herself a moment to ascertain what she has 
on hand. If the supply is insufficient to give 
her guest a comfortable meal, she says 
frankly, " No, I have nothing good in the 
house to-day, so I won't ask you to stay to 
dinner; but do come in to-morrow. We are 
to have boiled halibut," or whatever the bill 
of fare for the next day may be. This young 
matron, who has two little children, but does 
most of her own work nevertheless, does not 

[67] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

leave her guest alone in the parlor. She 
makes what she calls 

A KITCHEN PARTY 

where everybody helps, and work is turned 
into good fun. One guest is detailed to cut 
the bread, another to scramble the eggs or to 
set the table. Good spirits are contagious 
and it is wonderful how people enjoy fol- 
lowing the lead of a merry hostess! 

The chafing-dish is an invaluable help on 
all such occasions. The busy housekeeper 
who asks her friends to help her in the 
kitchen, must of course have that room and 
all its furniture in a neat and attractive con- 
dition. Such dainty cooldng utensils can 
now be prociu^ed that the task of preparing 
food seems to lose much of its drudgery. I 
have seen kitchens where the spotless and 
shining stove, the clean white tables and the 
dainty agate or aluminum ware, were a poem 
in themselves. 

While we very properly wish to set before 
our guests the best that we have, it is a mis- 
take to use at any time, table furniture that 
we are ashamed to have others see. Don't 

068] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

use a red table-cloth for common and a white 
one only when guests are expected, if it 
would make you blush to have the colored 
cloth seen. To live a sham prevents our be- 
ing truly hospitable and injures our self- 
respect in addition. If you make up your 
mind that it is best for you to reserve your 
snow-white napery for high days and holi- 
days, do not be afraid to live up to your 
opinions. In France some families of aris- 
tocratic pretensions, living in chateaux in 
the country, use daily white oilcloth on the 
dinner-table, it is said. 

In preparing a repast for an unexpected 
guest, do not forget that most people would 
rather have a tolerable meal at their ordi- 
nary hour, than a belated feast when they 
have grown faint or head-achey with waiting. 
A kindly housekeeper of the old-fashioned 
school made this mistake recently with a 
guest who arrived unexpectedly for lunch- 
eon on Christmas Day. Everyone was de- 
lighted to see this old family friend and he 
was besought to remain to late dinner. Im- , 
possible ! He had promised to dine with Mr. 
Blank in the neighboring city. So the host- 

[69] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AKD COUNTRY 

ess, with the most hospitable intent, decided 
to make her dinner hour three o'clock instead 
of half -past six. The visitor was given a 
light lunch at one, dinner at half -past three, 
and left the table just in time to keep his city 
engagement at half -past six. He alluded 
laughingly afterwards to the wonderful 
Christmas Day when he ate two dinners, 
one on top of the other. 

A Woman's Exchange is a great help in 
the entertainment of the unexpected guest. 
A young matron need not be afraid to try 
to get one up, just because she is new to the 
place in which she lives and thinks it more 
becoming in her to allow older people to take 
the initiative. A little experience will show 
her that it is the young women, the new- 
comers who start new things. If she is very 
wise and wary, she will ask the advice and 
assistance of the elders, taking care not to 
let the actual control go out of her own 
hands until the thing is well started, or until 
she has obtained the help of some competent 
and responsible person. She should also 
avoid claiming the credit of the new venture, 
at least until it is firmly established. The 

[70] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

older inhabitants do not so much object to 
new things as to being told that they are 
behind the times and that it is necessary for 
an outsider to stir them up. Even where a 
village proves too small to keep an exchange 
open permanently, it is sometimes possible 
to have two or three weekly salesdays and to 
obtain a list of consignors who can be reached 
by telephone, letter or messenger. Such an 
excellent neighbor, *' The Charlotte Russe 
Lady," was a real blessing to the writer and 
to many other inhabitants of a small village 
a few years ago. 



[71] 




PART II 
CHAPTER VI 

THE FLAT - DWELLER AND HER DIFFICULTIES 

I HE young girl who marries 
and goes to housekeeping in 
a small apartment, finds the 
problem of entertaining her 
friends and those of her hus"- 
band a little difficult at first. 
Perhaps she has been brought up in a large 
house where there was plenty of room and 
a number of servants to assist her. Perhaps 
her mother was a delightful hostess and the 
very remembrance of the latter's accomplish- 
ments discourages the daughter. As she 
looks around her tiny establishment, she ex- 
claims, *' Why, I shall never be able to ask 
any one here ! " 

To such a girl I would say, " Don't be dis- 
couraged, my dear, if you are really in ear- 

[72] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTJIY 

nest, you will succeed in this as in any other 
reasonable undertaking. A woman who 
possesses the true spirit of hospitality will 
find a way to express it, if she has only a 
single room." 

The first point is to make your home at- 
tractive, a place where you yourself pass 
happy hours. No matter how large a house 
is, we do not enjoy visiting it, if the home 
atmosphere is lacking. I remember one 
such dwelling the dreariness of which is in- 
delibly impressed on my mind. My hostess 
was kind and cordial, but she was occupied 
with many outside cares, and it was evident 
that she thought very little about the inter- 
nal appointments of her home. The large 
empty rooms, with their high ceilings and 
scanty ugly furniture, seemed to echo back 
our voices in the most melancholy way. We 
two appeared as if lost in the long dining- 
room ; the house was dreary, lonely, deserted 
of all but ourselves. High ceilings are 
stately, but for every-day use low-studded 
rooms are much more cosy and cheerful. 
Marie Antoinette knew this and her apart- 
ments at Fontainebleau are a contrast in this 

[73] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

respect with the rest of the palace. Our 
Puritan ancestors knew it too and built their 
houses accordingly. Tastes differ and so do 
chmates. In southern lands we require less 
furniture and more effect of space than at 
the North. On some points we all agree, 
however. Every one likes to see the cheer- 
ful blaze of an open fire during the cold 
months of the year. If our housekeeper is 
so fortunate as to have an open fireplace or 
even a gas log in her apartment, it will help 
very much to give the much-desired look of 
home. A delightful single lady of my ac- 
quaintance once lived for a time in a city 
boarding-house. In order to reach her eyrie, 
we were obliged to climb two pairs of stairs, 
in spite of which it was always a pleasure to 
visit her. She had the dearest little open 
fire of glowing coals, and near it was a tiny 
old-fashioned cupboard in which she kept hsr 
hospitable tea equipage and store of nice 
little cakes sent from her beloved country 
home. Her work-basket with some pretty 
bit of work was always in evidence, and her 
welcome was ever most cordial. In a word, 
she contrived to surround herself with a 

[74] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

delightful atmosphere of home and to exer- 
cise a charming hospitality, wherever her lot 
was cast. 

Everyone likes to see flowers and growing 
plants, a few of which brighten a room won- 
derfully. There should not be so many as to 
darken the windows or to use up too much 
air. In the evening, a table lamp or some 
form of drop light adds to the cheerful effect. 

Our young matron will remember that it 
is comparatively easy to make a small apart- 
ment look cosy, and she must avoid with the 
utmost care the other extreme, the crowded 
appearance which is so oppressive to the be- 
holder. All superfluous articles of furniture 
must be ruthlessly weeded out. Every piece 
should be chosen primarily for its fitness and 
usefulness. If it is beautiful, so much the 
better. It is great folly to take up valuable 
space in a small apartment with ancestral 
chairs supported on uncertain legs, sofas 
whose covering is too light for common use, 
long and heavy hangings, window curtains 
trailing in the dust, ottomans or other pit- 
falls for the feet of unwary guests. Only 
a few ornaments should be permitted. Now 

[75] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

that bric-a-brac has gone out of fashion, we 
all draw a sigh of relief; we have grown so 
tired of seeing dwellings crowded with it. 
If our young couple choose a sunny expo- 
sure, they will be wise. Nothing is so cheer- 
ful as the light of day and few things so 
gloomy as a dark apartment to which the sun 
never comes. It is better to go a little 
farther out of town or to a less fashionable 
neighborhood, than to live without plenty of 
fresh air and light. 

If our bride has seen hospitality charm- 
ingly displayed in the home of her child- 
hood, she will have traditions that will be of 
great assistance to her in entertaining in her 
turn. Only while she lives in small quarters, 
she must be contented to do so in homoeop- 
athic fashion, small and frequent doses be- 
ing suited to her case. The number of guests 
must of course be strictly proportioned to 
the space at her command. Where an apart- 
ment has been made out of an old-fashioned 
house with large rooms en suite, eight or even 
ten people may be accommodated at luncheon 
or dinner. It is important to have room 
enough for the waitress to hand the dishes 

[76] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

without incommoding the guests, squeezing 
by or leaning over them. Something de- 
pends on the character of the guests and of 
the occasion. We can venture to invite inti- 
mate friends or people who are not inclined 
to be ceremonious, when we should hesitate 
to ask a person of very formal tastes. 

Hospitality, like other matters of daily 
life, involves small compromises, and our 
young hostess must consider carefully the 
question whether the pleasure she can offer 
will be sufficient to make Miss So-and-so 
have a good time, despite some little draw- 
backs. One rule should never be violated. 
We must never crowd our tables or our rooms 
to such a degree that our guests cannot be 
comfortable. In an apartment of moderate 
size, six can sit down to table. Our hostess 
will try to choose a bill-of-f are consisting as 
much as possible of articles that can be pre- 
pared the day or at least some hours before- 
hand, since she will be thus less flustered and 
fatigued when her guests arrive. She must 
also beware of using the frying-pan and so 
scenting her small rooms with the odors of 
cooking. Turnips, onions, cauliflowers and 

[77] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

cabbage should be looked at askance for the 
same reason. If she does her own work, she 
will probably select cold meats, as less 
troublesome and less odorous. 

For lunch, bouillon, clam broth with 
whipped cream or some form of soup served 
in cups, followed by cold chicken, stuffed 
potatoes and a simple salad (lettuce, toma- 
toes or cucumbers, with French dressing), 
the dessert consisting of wine or lemon jelly 
served with whipped cream, a fruit salad, 
ice cream or charlotte russe from the confec- 
tioner, make a bill-of -f are that is easily man- 
aged. A vegetarian hostess might substi- 
tute a dish of maccaroni with cheese, dain- 
tily prepared and baked, for the cold fowl. 
If there is a maid-servant, chops, beef -steak, 
broiled or roast chicken will probably form 
the principal dish of meat. Tea is usually 
preferred for informal lunches, but some 
ladies offer instead coffee or cocoa. Coffee 
is better at the end of the meal, tea or cocoa 
at any time after the soup course. In hot 
weather, lemonade, fruit punch or grape 
juice may be substituted for a hot drink. 

If our young matron understands the use 

[78] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of the chafing dish, she can add to the fun 
of the occasion and the pleasure of the guests 
by cooking an omelette, creaming oysters 
or preparing some other dainty dish on table. 
But this is not to be recommended until our 
neophyte has had some experience both with 
entertaining and with the chafing-dish. I 
myself have a sad memory of preparing a 
dish of eggs before my guests and forgetting 
the initial step of melting the butter. We 
had a good laugh at the result, but it was 
very difficult to remove the eggs, which 
clung with great tenacity to the ungreased 
pan. 

At dinner or at lunch, if gentlemen are 
present, it is best to have a hot joint, a steak 
or some hot substantial dish of meat. Most 
men prefer good solid food to what they call 
" Kickshaws," namely, chops, sweetbreads, 
patties and the various dainty dishes that are 
favorites with women. 

Since the air of small rooms soon becomes 
close, it is advisable to arrange an entertain- 
ment in such a way that the guests shall not 
stay too long in any one apartment. Thus 
the windows can be opened in the little par- 

[79] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

lor while the company are at dinner, and 
the service of the latter should be rapid 
enough to enable the guests to return to the 
drawing-room before the dining-room be- 
comes over-heated and stuffy. Since it is 
most unwholesome to eat fast, our youthful 
housekeeper must plan the number of her 
courses to suit the dimensions of her rooms. 
Coffee she should of course serve in the par- 
lor for this reason. 

While it is a part of our Anglo- Saxon idea 
of hospitality that it should cluster to some 
extent about the domestic hearth-stone, it is 
possible to entertain our guests elsewhere. 
The dwellers in a tiny apartment sometimes 
give their friends a dinner at a neighboring 
hotel, if their means warrant. Where they 
can have a private room in which to receive 
their guests and a private dining-room, the 
occasion may be as pleasant as if held in a 
private house. Or our hostess may invite 
her friends to go to the theatre or to a con- 
cert, a lecture or an art exhibition, dining 
with her and her husband first, or perhaps 
coming to supper afterwards. This may be 
cold, with hot coffee, or may be prepared in 

[80] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

part over the chafing-dish. A rare -bit is a 
favorite supper-dish for those who have vig- 
orous digestions. If the young couple can- 
not well afford to buy tickets for every one, 
the theatre party may be a Dutch treat, the 
hostess providing the supper or dinner at 
her own dwelling and at her own expense. 
Nothing is more vulgar than to rate hospi- 
tality solely by the amount of money ex- 
pended. We wish to treat our friends with 
generosity, but if we spend time, thought 
and ingenuity on their entertainment, we 
give them something far more precious than 
any mere display of wealth. 

An ingenious hostess can usually find 
many objects of interest with which to enter- 
tain friends from out of town. If she live 
in a historic city or town, there will be muse- 
ums, monuments or famous spots to be vis- 
ited. In a new place, there are always new 
buildings of some sort to be seen, parks to 
be explored, factories or tall buildings to 
be examined and admired. When we 
go to Europe, there is always something 
to see even in the smallest hamlet. There 
is much to be admired in our own coun- 

[81] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

try, for those who keep their eyes open. 
People are coining to understand this in our 
large cities, witness the automobiles for 
" Seeing Washington," New York or Bos- 
ton. It is true that one cannot entertain 
one's fellow townsmen by showing them the 
local sights with which they are or ought 
to be familiar. For their amusement some- 
thing else must be provided. Fortunately 
those who live in the same city usually have 
many common interests which provide topics 
of conversation. The newspapers and maga- 
zines also help us with suggestions from time 
to time, of novelties that please just because 
they are new to us, or of old customs re- 
vived that are welcome for the same reason. 
Some of these are described in other chapters. 
It is well to have on hand a supply of play- 
ing cards, checkers and other games both 
old and new. 

Our flat-dweller must never forget the 
physical limitations of her liliputian abode, 
though she may permit her own intellect and 
those of her friends to soar to the loftiest 
empyrean. She must always ask herself the 
question, " Will that fit in my apartment? " 

[82] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

If she wants a little music, she should pro- 
cure the assistance of those performers who 
can moderate their musical transports to 
twelve by twelve requirements or whatever 
the size of her drawing-room may be. A 
large Victor machine or a live singer with 
a powerful voice might deafen her guests. 
Her piano must be of small size and subdued 
tone. 

While she cannot attempt an afternoon 
tea on a large scale, she can invite a few 
friends at a time to this easy and pleasant 
form of entertainment. Or she may send 
out cards for a certain day of the week in 
one or two months. If she has a large circle 
of friends and acquaintances, she may find 
it best to divide her invitations, asking half 
her visiting list for December and the other 
half for January. The division might be 
made according to the letters of the alpha- 
bet, by the wife of a physician or a clergy- 
man or by any lady who had reason to fear 
giving offence by seeming to discriminate 
between her guests. The surest way to 
avoid this difficulty is to have a day at home 
all through the season — or until Lent or 

[83] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

some given period. Thus a lady may have 
on her visiting card, " Fridays until April " 
or " Third and Fourth Fridays until Lent." 
There are many drawbacks to a regular re- 
ception day, especially where there is only 
one hostess. A mother and daughter or two 
sisters living together can take turns in be- 
ing at home, if some very attractive invita- 
tion is received for that particular day. For 
a woman of strong hospitable inclinations, 
with a modest purse, a regular reception day 
is well worth all the sacrifices it costs. If 
she has any social talent, she will draw about 
her a circle of friends who enjoy coming to 
see her and are glad to know when they can 
surely find her at home. It also saves her 
time on other days of the week, for she can 
deny herself to callers if she chooses to do 
so, since they know there is an appointed 
time when they can be received. 

If our flat-dweller lives in an apartment 
with an elevator, she should be careful to 
notify the man in charge of it that she ex- 
pects guests at a specified time. Indeed it 
is always well to leave word with him or 
with the clerk at the desk when she is going 

[84] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

out, unless she has a maid-servant to open 
her door and give all needed information. 

A lady with hospitable inclinations will 
save herself some awkward moments if she 
is dressed and ready to receive callers early 
in the afternoon. In the morning it is ex- 
pected that everyone will be occupied, all 
formal calls being reserved for a later period 
in the day. 

It is difficult to accommodate any guests 
save near relatives or intimate friends over- 
night in a small apartment, and it should not 
be lightly undertaken. Where there is a reg- 
ular guest chamber and a hall so arranged 
that one can pass to the dining-room or par- 
lor direct, the case is different. Where the 
rooms are all connected so that one must pass 
through those of other people on leaving 
one's own, the effect is very awkward. Our 
young matron should so arrange matters that 
it would be possible for her to keep a friend 
overnight, in case of emergency. She should 
have a door that will shut and lock for one 
room at least, even though she uses portieres 
elsewhere. A bachelor friend of her husband 
or a school or college mate of her own might 

[85] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWIT AND COUNTRY 

find it convenient to stay overnight, despite 
the drawbacks necessarily incident to "camp- 
ing out " in a tiny apartment. The hostess 
or the host must look out carefully for the 
comfort of the guest, managing matters so 
as to produce the minimum of awkwardness. 
The guest must be called in the morning, he 
must be notified when he can leave his room, 
and the other members of the family must 
be told also, so that they may be out of the 
way at the right psychological moment. If 
any one sleeps in the parlor, all evidences 
of such occupancy must be removed while 
the family are at breakfast. The husband 
may relieve the awkwardness of the situation 
by taking his friend out to a neighboring 
hotel or boarding-house for the morning 
meal. In an apartment house where there 
is a restaurant, the problem of entertaining 
guests overnight is much simplified. 



[86] 




CHAPTER VII 

AFTEENOON TEAS AND RECEPTIONS 

IHERE is a subtle charm about 
the fragrant herb that makes 
the drinking of tea together 
a social function unlike any 
other. Efforts have been 
made to substitute the Kaffee- 
Klatsch for the tea-party, but they have not 
been successful in English-speaking coun- 
tries. Coffee is all very well in its way. As 
a mere drink, it is perhaps to be preferred to 
its sister beverage, for it tastes as well, if 
not better, and is a more powerful stimulant. 
But it makes no appeal to the imagination 
and recalls no classic legends of the olden 
time, no patriotic memories of the days of 
seventy-six. Why the American Revolu- 
tion could never have succeeded, had it not 
been ushered in by that gigantic libation of 
tea, solemnly poured into old Boston Harbor 

[87] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

and echoed by the citizens of far-off South 
Carohna, when they with equal self-sacrifice 
stored their chests in damp cellars where the 
leaf was soon spoiled. 

As we stir our cups of fragrant Salada or 
the much advertised Sir Thomas Lipton 
brand, we think of ponderous old Dr. John- 
son and his inordinate fondness for the cup 
that cheers but does not inebriate. We re- 
member Pope's fair ladies, with their powder, 
puffs and patches, with their hoops, brocaded 
go\Mis and all the glories of the courtly 
eighteenth century costume. Whereas cof- 
fee recalls to us only the Arabs of the desert 
or the unspeakable Turk. Was it not over 
the tea-cups that our grandmothers hung 
fondly, striving to tell their fortunes by the 
stray fragments that floated to the surface? 
They keenly appreciated the romance, the 
mystery that clings to the magic herb. To 
see the little parched, withered sticks grow 
into beautiful bronze green leaves rmder the 
benign influence of boiling water, renewing 
their youth like the bay tree, is always a 
wonder, though we have seen it a thousand 
times before. This is one secret of our fond- 

[88] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ness for tea-drinking. We love to watch the 
whole process of preparing it, the quick leap- 
ing into flame of the alcohol lamp, the steady 
glow of the miniature fire, the ascending 
cloud of steam, the cheery singing of the 
Urn, all seem a survival of some ancient 
rite performed on the domestic hearth of 
our ancestors, countless centuries ago. 

We love to linger with Dr. Holmes " Over 
the Tea-Cups," whereas we do not dare to 
trifle with the more deadly coffee. Do not 
the magazines constantly warn us against it, 
recommending patented substitutes in the 
most disinterested spirit? Whether it is the 
prosaic appearance of the Java berry, the 
fact that it is usually prepared slowly in re- 
mote kitchens or the lack of historic asso- 
ciations, is hard to say, but it is certain that 
no one has ever called a meal " Coffee," 
" Cocoa " or " Chocolate." That honor is re- 
served for one unrivalled beverage alone. 
Indeed we cling so fondly to the name of 
tea that we refused to part with it, even 
when the custom of dining late drove out 
the dear old-fashioned evening meal of our 
childhood. We adopted with joy the idea 

[89] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

and the name of " Afternoon Tea," and it 
is even dearer to our English sisters than to 
ourselves. They made a futile effort to call 
this function a kettledrum, when it was re- 
introduced some thirty years ago, but the 
dearer and more peaceful name of " Tea " 
prevailed. Clearly one could not have a war- 
like drum beating in the house every after- 
noon. 

The great charm of these occasions lies in 
their simplicity and informality. Provided 
she complies vrith a few simple rules, any 
woman with the average amount of brains 
can give an afternoon tea, even though she 
has had little experience as a hostess. If she 
is very young or very nervous, she should 
write down beforehand what she needs, lest 
she should forget some very simple thing. 
It is very mortifying to be obliged to fall 
back on condensed milk, because your family 
has used up all the cream and fresh milk, an 
accident very apt to occur where there are 
young children. It is true that many people 
now prefer lemon but cream still has its vo- 
taries. Our neophyte should begin with a 
small and informal occasion. For this it is 

[90] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

best to have the tea-service in the drawing- 
room, unless the rooms are so small as to 
make an adjournment to the dining-room 
advisable. 

The easiest method is to have the table 
arranged before the arrival of the guests. 
It should be protected by a cotton flannel 
cloth under the linen one. Over this again 
may come an afternoon tea-cloth ornamented 
with embroidery or drawn-work. A large 
silver or brass tray affords a farther protec- 
tion to the table. One should at least have 
a small tray under the spout of the tea urn 
or kettle, since it is very difficult to pour 
out many cups without spilling some of the 
liquid. A Russian Samovar produces the 
most decorative effect, but an old-fashioned 
silver urn looks very well also; a silver or 
brass tea-kettle, fitted with an alcohol lamp, 
is often used. Wood alcohol or methylated 
spirits cannot be recommended. It is cheaper 
than the better grades but has an unpleasant 
odor. A silver tea-pot, cream-pitcher, sugar 
bowl and slop bowl are to be preferred, al- 
though a large china or earthenware tea-pot 
is very convenient. According to a new and 

[91] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

pretty fashion, this may be set in an arab- 
esque frame of openwork silver. Lump 
sugar, cream, one or two lemons sliced very 
thin, a pretty tea-caddy and the necessary 
number of cups, saucers, spoons and a box 
of matches are all set on the table. It saves 
time and alcohol to have the hot water 
brought in at the last moment. It is also 
better to allow the sandwiches and cake, or 
whatever the solid part of the entertainment 
is, to remain in the pantry until needed. 

A " Curate's Assistant " is a useful ad- 
junct to the afternoon tea table. It consists 
of a small upright stand, with three or four 
shelves just large enough to hold a plate 
of bread-and-butter or cake. Where there 
are only a few guests, a silver tea-ball may 
be used. Boiling hot water is poured into 
a cup and the ball immersed in it long enough 
to make the beverage of the required 
strength. Little bags of cheese-cloth serve 
a similar purpose. A few spoonfuls of dry 
tea are tied up in these and placed in the 
tea-pot as needed. They are readily taken 
out and one can in this way avoid the bitter 
taste and unwholesome quality of leaves that 

[92] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

have been long steeped. Tea that has stood 
more than three minutes on the leaves de- 
velops tannin, which is considered very un- 
wholesome. As it is the substance with 
which leather is tanned, the idea of imbibing 
it frequently is rather alarming. Water 
which has just come to the boiling point 
should be used in making tea and there 
should be a large supply of it, as most per- 
sons now prefer their tea very weak. In 
summer lemonade, iced tea or some cooling 
drink, is often served in addition. 

Our hostess may offer her friends thin 
bread-and-butter and cake or sandwiches if 
she prefers. These are now made in an end- 
less variety, to suit different tastes. They 
can usually be ordered from a Woman's Ex- 
change. Those made of currant jelly are at 
once pretty and palatable. Orange marma- 
lade, nuts, cucumbers, lettuce or other 
greens, pate-de-foie-gras, cream cheese and 
peanut butter all make excellent filling for 
sandwiches, as well as the more old-fashioned 
but ever popular chicken, ham and tongue. 
Muffins or bread toasted and buttered or 
tiny hot biscuits may replace the sandwiches. 

[93] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Where there is a waitress, she should bring in 
the hot water and sandwiches, etc., and re- 
move the soiled cups and saucers from time 
to time. If our young matron is dependent 
on her own exertions, she should ask one 
or two young friends to assist her in waiting 
on the guests. Indeed it is always desirable 
to have some one share the duties of a host- 
ess on these occasions. Just because they 
are so informal, they involve a good deal 
of mental and physical activity for the lady 
of the house. It is impossible to pour tea 
properly, unless you give your whole mind 
to it, so some one must be ready to shake 
hands with an incoming visitor, to draw the 
fire of the incessant chatterer or to talk to a 
shy guest, as the case may demand. 

Where only three or four persons are ex- 
pected, the more elegant way is to have the 
entire tea-service brought in on a large tray 
by the servant and set before the mistress of 
the house, on a low, small table. 

It is not quite so cosy to have the tea 
served in the dining-room, but it is much 
better where there are many guests. This 
arrangement has the advantage of making 

[94] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the company circulate, hence it produces 
more hf e and movement than where all stand 
or sit quietly in one apartment. For an 
affair of this sort, the hostess usually invites 
two or three friends beforehand to come 
without their hats and preside at the tea- 
table. She often asks others to assist as 
waitresses. The number of hostesses adds 
an air of sociability to the occasion and it is 
usually a compliment to be called on to help 
in this way. When tea is served in the di- 
ning-room, the bill-of-fare may be a little 
more elaborate. Salted nuts, dried ginger 
and bon-bons of various sorts are in order. 
Coffee, chocolate or bouillon may be poured 
at one end of the table, tea of course at the 
other. Ribbon is not so much used for dec- 
oration as formerly. A handsome polished 
mahogany table, with lace or embroidered 
linen centre-piece and doilies to match under 
the dishes, makes an effective background 
for the dainty china or silver dishes and the 
candelabra. These may be of silver or glass 
with colored or hand-painted shades. Four 
single candlesticks make a very good table 
decoration. 

[95] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Our hostess may have only a maid-of -all- 
work, in which case it should be her especial 
duty to wait on the door, assisting at the 
table also, so far as she can. If there are 
more than a dozen or fifteen guests, she will 
need some assistance, either from friends of 
the house or from a person hired for the 
afternoon. In cities and even in towns of 
moderate size, there are usually waitresses 
who can be hired for especial occasions at 
a moderate price. Such women will, if de- 
sired, come in the morning and make all the 
necessary preparations, cleaning the silver, 
preparing the sandwiches, etc. 

The lady of the house having made sure 
that everything is in readiness, can array 
herself in a pretty afternoon toilette, which 
must be high in the neck. Fashion now de- 
crees that evening dress (i. e., bodice cut low) 
must not be assumed until the hour for late 
dinner. The transparent yoke effects are 
very popular for afternoon tea and a long 
skirt is always prettier than a short one for 
house wear. A hostess does not need gloves 
unless her tea is so large as to be virtually 
a reception. If only a few friends are ex- 

[96] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

pected, she need not stand, but she must not 
forget to rise and greet ladies as they enter. 
If a number of people have been invited, 
she will take her stand near the door and 
remain there until most of the guests have 
arrived. If the tea has been given in honor 
of a friend, the latter should take her 
place next to the lady of the house and all 
guests should be presented to her, after they 
have shaken hands with the hostess. A 
daughter stands next to her mother in the 
same way, if the tea is given to introduce her 
to society. Otherwise, she and the other as- 
sistant hostesses move about the rooms, talk- 
ing with the guests and asking them if they 
will have some refreshment. In the dining- 
room the amateur waitresses do not hesitate 
to ask the same question. They do this 
whether they know the guests or not. 

A reception differs from an afternoon tea 
in being more formal and more costly. The 
invitations are usually engraved and are 
sent out about two weeks in advance. In a 
large city, a strip of red velvet carpet laid 
down the doorsteps, with an awning over- 
head, and a man on the sidewalk to open 

[97] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the doors of the carriages, give a festive air 
to the exterior of the house. In addition to 
the person who opens the front door, there 
is usually a man-servant or a maid just out- 
side the entrance to the drawing-room, who 
inquires the names of the guests and an- 
nounces them distinctly to his mistress. 

In the chapter on Dances (number 11) the 
advantages and disadvantages of this cus- 
tom are discussed at some length. In sum- 
mer, when few wraps are worn, dressing- 
rooms are not needed, but in cold weather 
they are usually provided. 

On short winter days, receptions are 
usually held with the aid of artificial light. 
The rooms are often handsomely decorated 
with flowers or potted plants and sometimes 
there is music. Ices, lemonade and wine-cup 
or punch not too strong for ladies, may be 
added to the usual menu for afternoon tea, 
by those who do not think it wrong to use 
such stimulants in moderation. Salads are 
sometimes offered, but the tendency of the 
day is to avoid giving at this hour a " heavy 
spread," since it would interfere with the 
late dinner. In small towns, where people 

C98] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dine in the middle of the day, a number of 
substantial dishes, such as salads, croquettes 
and oysters, are served, thus furnishing the 
guests with what is in reality a supper. 

Afternoon entertainments offer an easy 
way of paying off one's social debts, but 
where they are on a large scale one sees 
very little of the hostess. The guests neces- 
sarily entertain each other. A woman with 
gracious and hospitable instincts can give 
an agreeable tone to any occasion at her 
house, by greeting her friends and acquaint- 
ances with cordiality, and by showing pleas- 
ure at their presence. If she seems bored 
and weary, or cold, formal and stiff, how 
can she expect that her guests will enjoy 
themselves! Verily, one is sometimes 
tempted to say, " What a good time we 
could have were it not for our hostess!" 
A debutante said lately to one of her young 
friends, at the tea given in honor of her 
coming out in society, " Don't feel obliged 
to stay unless you want to. Afternoon teas 
are such a bore, aren't they? " 

If she had been a little older, she would 
have realized that it is an important part of 

' [99] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the duty of a model hostess to take a cheer- 
ful view of her own entertainment. She 
should invite her friends with the idea of 
giving them and herself real pleasure. 
Otherwise it is better not to ask them. 



[ 100 ] 



CHAPTER VIII 



LUNCHEONS 



9U 




1 


m 



UNCH is the most elastic of 
meals, capable of expansion 
or contraction to suit all 
tastes and all purses. It may 
mean anything from a piece 
of bread and a glass of milk, 
to a gorgeous repast of innumerable courses. 
Fortunately for the digestions of our coun- 
trywomen, the very elaborate luncheons in 
vogue at one time have gone out of fashion. 
The evil became excessive and so cured it- 
self. 

Formal luncheons are still popular and 
are likely to continue so, but the number 
of courses has been greatly curtailed. Both 
at this meal and at dinner, quality is now 
more esteemed than quantity. These mid- 
day feminine banquets are an American 
development of the old idea of luncheon, 

[101] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

which meant simply a light form of re- 
freshment and not a regular meal. As the 
dinner horn* grew later and later in our large 
cities, luncheon necessarily became a more 
substantial repast. Some people of robust 
health can go from breakfast to late dinner 
without taking even a sandwich between, 
but for most of us this would not be com- 
patible with comfort. The crusade against 
the old-fashioned heavy American break- 
fast has also had a tendency to make the mid- 
day meal heartier. Many people now eat 
very little in the morning and are hungry at 
noon as a natural consequence. Hence in 
many cities and towns, luncheon is a substan- 
tial meal, although it still retains its original 
informal character, on all ordinary occa- 
sions. 

The hour makes it a convenient time for 
women to entertain each other, since it does 
not involve the necessity of bringing out 
a tired husband, who probably prefers to 
pass his evenings quietly at home. It is a 
pity that our American men are so weary 
at the end of the day, for the ideal and the 
most agreeable society is that where men and 

[102] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

women meet together. I fear too much is 
demanded of these husbands. If we were 
all willing to live with greater simpKcity, 
our men would not be obliged to work so 
hard and would not be so brain-weary. We 
might have the pleasure of their company 
at evening gatherings, if we would only 
simplify our lives a little. Alas! we are 
all such imitative animals that we think 
we must follow New York fashions, though 
we live in a small town where these are really 
very inappropriate. The bane of suburban 
hospitality is this fatal aping of the cus- 
toms of the nearest great city. It is very 
natural and very proper to wish to be 
up-to-date. But we are really not up- 
to-date if we do not take into con- 
sideration the question of proportion and 
suitability. No matter how true your cos- 
tume may be to the prevailing mode, it will 
not look well if it is several sizes too large 
for you. The same thing is true of enter- 
tainments. If too large for the means of 
the giver they will appear like ill-fitting gar- 
ments, while those that are inappropriate 
to the locality will resemble a dress that is 

[103] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

unbecoming to the wearer. After more 
than two thousand years, we still admire 
the ancient Greeks above all other nations, 
because they possessed perfect taste. We 
cannot do better than to follow their ex- 
ample by striving to make good taste the 
first requisite for our entertainments. Our 
hostess must ask herself, " Will this form 
of hospitality be appropriate to Podunk 
(or whatever her home town may be), to 
my house and to my purse? " Emerson's 
ideal of " Plain living and high thinking " 
is one which should be remembered by all 
his countrymen. During his presidency Mr. 
Roosevelt set us an excellent example of cor- 
diality and simplicity in hospitality. At the 
White House he frequently entertained 
guests at luncheon, the bill-of-fare being 
simple, while the cooking was excellent. 

Every housekeeper knows that there must 
be some meal in the course of the twenty- 
four hours, at which warmed-over dishes 
can be served up. Now that meat is going 
out of fashion for breakfast, lunch presents 
the best opportunity for using up odds and 
ends. These are always greater favorites 

[104] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

with v/omen than with men, perhaps because 
they appeal to our love of economy. One 
need not be afraid to ask a friend whom one 
knows well, to lunch on chicken creamed on 
toast or corned-beef hash, provided it is 
nicely prepared and served hot. Cold meat 
cut thin may form the chief dish, but luke- 
warm food is fit neither for gods nor for 
men. The English, whose hospitality is 
proverbial for its excellence, do not think it 
necessary to serve such a profusion of food 
as is apt to characterize an American table. 
If a Briton invites you to dine informally 
on a dish of ox's heart or of mutton and tur- 
nips, you will find that he means what he 
says. We shall doubtless learn something 
of the same simplicity after awhile, and cease 
to weary ourselves by a constant straining 
after expensive effects that are only ap- 
propriate to the tables of persons of large 
wealth. If we analyze these, we shall see 
that their greatest charm lies in their har- 
mony and in the perfect freshness of all the 
appointments. With a little thought and 
study, it is quite possible to reproduce the 
harmonious effect and the exquisite neatness 

[ 105 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

wliich is alwavs attractive iii itself, on a much 
simpler scale, just as the Japanese can deco- 
rate a room with a single ornament placed in 
exactly the right position. To produce the 
desired effect, ever}i:hing about the table 
must be spotlessly clean. The silver and 
glass must be well pohshed, bright and shi- 
ning. 

The daintiness of table napery must 
never be neglected. Our young hostess 
must have an abimdant stock of napkins and 
table-cloths, enough to ensure a fresh sup- 
ply whenever guests are expected. Colored 
naperv^ is Kttle used now. Plain wliite linen 
of good quahty, carefully laimdered, never 
goes out of fashion. Lace-trimmed or em- 
broidered Imich cloths are also used, bv 
those who can afford such expensive appoint- 
ments. The Enghsh, who do not use nap- 
kins a second time, do not always have them 
at lunch. This seems rather barbarous to us, 
each nation having its own views. The bare 
table, provided it is handsome or at least in 
good condition, is often used at luncheon, a 
centre-piece and place doihes being used in 

[106] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

this case instead of the conventional table- 
cloth. As this arrangement, strictly speak- 
ing, calls for a doily under each plate, tum- 
bler, saucer, etc., it is rather troublesome. 
Where a cloth is used, a centre-piece adds 
to the attractiveness of the table, but no 
place doilies should be used, as they would 
look and be superfluous. It is a rule in deco- 
rative art that every ornament shall have 
some meaning. Ornament for its own sake 
is not in good taste. 

The napkins used need not be so large as 
those for dinner. A dish of fruit prettily ar- 
ranged may be placed in the centre of the 
table; the glossy leaves of the laurel or the 
orange add a pretty touch and are cheaper 
than flowers in winter, or a few evergreen 
twigs will give a cheery effect. A dish of 
growing ferns or a potted plant may also be 
used. Indeed there is room for much in- 
genuity, as well as for the display of artistic 
taste, in this matter of table decoration. 
Variety, provided it is in good taste, is al- 
ways refreshing. If flowers are employed, 
it is well to adhere to the modem plan of 

[ 107 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

massing together those of the same kind and 
color, reheved perhaps by a httle greenery, 
their own leaves being best for this purpose. 

The modern plan of writing out the bill- 
of-f are and pinning it up in the butler's pan- 
try, will be found a great aid to the memory 
of the waitress. If the hostess is dependent 
on her own exertions, she should have the 
plates for the later courses all set out in the 
butler's pantry or on the sideboard in the 
dining-room. For an informal lunch, the 
tea-service is placed before the hostess at the 
beginning of the meal. 

Some hints for the bill-of-fare for such an 
occasion have already been given in the chap- 
ter on " The Flat-dweller." It may be in- 
finitely varied however, at different seasons 
of the year and to suit the talents and con- 
venience of the hostess. If she has some 
special recipes, or if she can make spon/^e 
cake or any other suitable dish particularly 
well, it will give a certain individuality to her 
lunch and add to the pleasure of her guests. 
Let her beware of giving any fruit or vege- 
table out of its proper season. Products that 
are forced for the markets or brought long 

[108] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

distances, are seldom very good in them- 
selves. Who of us has not been horribly dis- 
appointed by premature strawberries for in- 
stance, that were so fair to look upon and 
tasted so much like vinegar! Where there 
is an elaborate bill-of-fare, it does not so 
much matter if one dish does not turn out 
well. But the hostess who entertains on a 
modest scale cannot afford to have any dish 
fail. Every one must tell! For the same 
reason, it is an unwise experiment to place 
before a guest from another part of the 
country some article of food which is an 
especial favorite there. If you give a Bos- 
tonian baked beans and brown bread, it will 
only serve to remind him of the superiority 
of the home cooking of those particular 
dishes. If you offer a New Yorker pre- 
served oysters in the West, it strengthens 
him in the opinion that this bivalve is only 
good when fresh. Whereas if you offer the 
visitor the specialties of your neighborhood, 
he is much more likely to be pleased and 
interested. 

A hostess who has no servant must care- 
fully plan her luncheon in such a way that 

[109] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

she will be obliged to leave her seat as little 
as possible. She should confine herself 
strictly to three courses, soup or fruit, meat, 
fish, eggs or whatever solid dish she offers, 
and dessert. Indeed two courses suffice for 
an informal lunch. A capable housekeeper 
can of course offer more courses if she wishes. 
But she should remember that it will be 
likely to give her guests a feeling of discom- 
fort, to see her constantly rising from her 
chair. They will regret putting her to so 
much trouble, while they will appreciate her 
consideration for their welfare. Here again 
must come in our sense of proportion. 
Methods of serving that are appropriate 
where a regular set of servants is employed, 
are not suitable in a household where there 
is only a maid-of -all-work. The latter, 
having duties in the kitchen as well as in the 
dining-room to perform, cannot spare the 
time to do everything that is expected of an 
accomplished waitress. The service cannot 
well be. a la Russe, according to which every- 
thing is cut up in the butler's pantry or on 
a side table and the food is all passed from 
there, nothing save the ornaments and a few 

tllO] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

pretty little dishes (called compotiers) hold- 
ing fruit, bon-bons and other trifles, being 
allowed to stand on the table. Usually 
where there is only a maid-of -all-work, she 
is asked to put the dishes on and pass them 
once, leaving them on the table. If there is 
any likelihood of the guests desiring a second 
helping, the hostess and her friends can as- 
sist each other, while the maid retires to see 
about the next course. The latter should 
also remove the crumbs before the dessert 
is set on table. A capable woman who un- 
derstands cooking and waiting can serve a 
lunch for six or eight persons, provided her 
mistress has set the table and made all in 
readiness in the dining-room beforehand, or 
has assisted with the cooking. Of course the 
bill-of-fare must not be too elaborate and 
must consist of articles that can be prepared 
for the most part before the arrival of the 
guests. 

Modern theory prescribes that we shall 
not remain at table more than an hour or 
an hour and a half at the utmost. Hence it 
is better to have the service simple rather 
than to detain the guests beyond the usual 

[111] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

time. In an age of automobiles, speed is one 
of the first requirements in all matters. We 
must not take too much of the time of our 
friends when we entertain them. This is 
especially the case at luncheon since it comes 
in the precious midday hours. 

FORMAL LUNCHEONS 

Our hostess should hardly attempt to 
give a formal lunch without hiring outside 
assistance, unless she has two capable serv- 
ants. The waitress should appear in a plain 
black dress, with a fresh white apron finished 
with bretelles coming over the shoulder. 
Some young women object to wearing the 
dainty little white cap that gives such a 
pretty finish to the whole costume. Accord- 
ing to the old-fashioned American idea, it 
savors a little of the livery which many peo- 
ple dislike as being undemocratic. To the 
black dress and white apron, no such objec- 
tion can reasonably be made. 

In addition to the centre-piece of flowers 
or fruit, there may be four vases of flowers 

[112] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

set at the corners of the table. Or the deco- 
rations may all be of ferns or other pretty 
greenery. Menus are not used for lunches 
or dinners at private houses. Candles with 
pretty shades should form part of the deco- 
rative scheme, where artificial light replaces 
that of the sun on a dark day or in a dark 
dining-room. Sunlight is infinitely to be pre- 
ferred however, where it can be had in good 
measure. In Chapter X, " The Day of the 
Dinner," will be found a new scheme of 
table decoration which is both pretty and in- 
genious. 

Grape-fruit is a favorite first course, while 
it is in season, as are strawberries, melons or 
peaches in summer. Or the lunch may be- 
gin with clam or chicken broth or bouillon 
served in covered cups and eaten with a 
large teaspoon. If fish is served it comes 
after the soup, but it is not necessary to have 
it at luncheon. Should there be an entree, 
it follows next; then comes the solid course, 
chops, filet of beef or whatever is selected. 
The salad course succeeds this, with or with- 
out birds. Ices or other sweet dishes come 

[113] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

next, followed by fruit and bon-bons. After- 
dinner coffee is served in tiny cups, either in 
the dining-room or the drawing-room as the 
hostess pleases. Or a simpler bill-of-fare 
could include only soup (or fruit in sum- 
mer) , chops or steak, salad served with cold 
chicken or ham and the course of sweets. 

The hostess leads the way to the dining- 
room and tells the guests where to sit, unless 
name-cards have been set at the places. 
Where there are a number of persons pres- 
ent, these are very helpful, saving time and 
preventing confusion. The hostess puts a 
relative or a friend whom she knows well at 
the foot of the table, placing the guest whom 
she wishes to honor most on her right, and 
the person of next importance on her left. 
The other guests that she desires to distin- 
guish are asked to sit on either hand of the 
lady at the foot of the table. 

It has been said that at these feminine 
lunches, the motto is " Grab, Gobble and 
Go," and the lady of the house will not be 
surprised if her drawing-room is emptied of 
her fair friends within half an hour or less 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of their leaving the table. It would obvi- 
ously be unsafe however, for her to make a 
hard and fast engagement obliging her to 
leave so soon, since some one might linger 
longer. 



[115] 




CHAPTER IX 

HOW TO GIVE AN AGREEABLE DINNER 

YOUNG matron will cer- 
tainly wish to entertain her 
husband's friends at dinner 
and if she is a woman of cour- 
age she will not allow herself 
to be frightened out of her 
good intentions, just because this is the most 
formal meal of the day. It is also the pleas- 
antest since it comes when the day's work is 
over and we can abandon ourselves to the 
enjoyment of a little well-earned relaxation, 
with a good conscience. Every hour of the 
twenty-four has its special significance and 
there is something about the early evening 
which has always made it the favorite time 
for social intercourse among civilized peo- 
ples. The waning of the sun gives the signal 
to birds and animals to compose themselves 

[116] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

to sleep, but man with his vivid imagination 
is not so readily satisfied. He desires some 
commimion with his fellow man before he 
abandons himself to mere oblivion. So he 
lights the lamps, gathers the family about 
the fireside, and makes of the twilight the 
crown of the whole day, when the stranger 
within his gates will find him at his very best. 
We have substituted steam heat and the elec- 
tric current for the simpler ways of the olden 
time, but the prevailing spirit of the hour 
remains the same. Like the Ancient Greeks 
and Romans we find it the best and brightest 
time for the entertainment of our friends. 

Hence a hostess has the traditions of thou- 
sands of years behind her, when she invites 
her friends to late dinner. The thought that 
we are doing what countless generations of 
men have found agreeable and convenient, 
is wonderfully sustaining. She will cer- 
tainly take great pains with her preparations 
and endeavor to have her house appear as 
attractive as possible. Fortunately artificial 
light has a magic way of lending a lustre to 
objects which seem comparatively insignifi- 
cant under the sun's glaring rays, as well as 

[117] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of mercifully covering up defects. Sunlight 
is so superb and magnificent in itself that it 
dwarfs all else. Hence the artist does not 
attempt to portray the face of Nature during 
the bright noonday hours. Neither she nor 
we look our best then. 

The selection of guests for a dinner is very 
important, because after they are once seated 
there can be no circulation of the company 
until the meal is over. One enterprising 
hostess of my acquaintance made a practice 
of asking her friends to change seats in the 
course of the dinner, thinking this would 
tend to enliven the conversation. But the 
guests disliked the innovation extremely, as 
it seemed to them undignified and not in ac- 
cordance with the proprieties of the occasion. 
One indignant man of letters went so far as 
to say, " Yes, Mrs. Blank, I will change my 
seat, since you insist upon it, but I shall never 
enter your house again ! ! " So our hostess 
abandoned her pet manoeuvre and contented 
herself with breaking up conversations when 
she thought they had lasted long enough. 

She would say, for instance, " Mr. X — , 
will not you talk to Miss Jay on your right? 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

You have been talking a long time to Mrs. 
S— on your left!" 

Mr. X — would turn very red and either 
become suddenly silent or start a perfunctory 
conversation with the lady indicated. As 
this hostess was at heart truly hospitable, 
and entertained in all other respects with 
real elegance, her friends were willing, with 
some grumbling, to endure her peculiarities. 
She was in reality a pioneer and the system 
which she inaugurated in a crude way, has 
now been developed to a smooth and inane 
perfection. Thus at very formal dinners, 
the guests, if they are accomplished diners- 
out, do not attempt to talk until the hostess 
has given them the cue. If she begins a con- 
versation with the gentleman on her right, 
every one else follows suit, and we have the 
beautiful spectacle of an entire tableful of 
guests, with their heads all turned in the 
same direction. 

After a due length of time, the hostess 
solemnly turns to speak to the gentleman on 
her left, when all the guests, who have been 
carefully on the watch for this signal, exe- 
cute a volte-face^ and turning the left cheek, 

[119] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

begin a new conversation with the neighbor 
on the left. This system was no doubt in- 
vented by an Enghsh peer, and can be 
highly recommended to those w^ho seek for 
the apotheosis of decorous dullness. 

To invite a number of people to dine with 
you, merely to pay off your social debts, is 
to make a fatal mistake. We must all con- 
sider our social obligations, without doubt, 
when we entertain. It may be necessary to 
invite one or two persons to a dinner for this 
reason, but if the occasion is to be agreeable 
to anyone, the majority of the guests should 
be asked because it is expected that their 
presence will give pleasure to themselves 
and others. If mine hostess wishes to enter- 
tain a married couple and to invite some 
one to meet them, she must consider care- 
fully whether such a meeting would be 
agreeable to both parties, especially where 
all live in the same town. It is well to 
ask people who have something in common, 
since this assists conversation. It will help 
the hosts if the guests already know each 
other. People who are intimately ac- 
quainted and meet very often, may not find 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

it very interesting to be asked to meet Mr. 
Jones, who knows all their old stories and 
their views on most subjects. Hence the 
occasion will be more amusing if the guests 
do not know each other too well. 

It has been said that a happy mingling of 
old and new friends produces excellent re- 
sults. With the former we feel more at home 
and at our ease, while the presence of the 
latter affords the promise at least of the 
novelty that is so attractive to most of us. 
A dinner of old friends, of comrades who 
have been separated by distance or the press 
of business cares, is likely to be very pleasant. 
But to such an occasion, we must be careful 
how we ask an outsider, lest he find himself 
a foreign element. Thus if three college or 
school mates are to dine together, it would be 
unfortunate to have another man present. 
As the wives would not probably have any 
special bond between them, it would not mat- 
ter so much about the feminine contingent. 

A man or woman who is a good talker and 
understands the art of being agreeable, is 
a popular dinner guest. There are people 
however, who have a great flow of language 

[ 121 J 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

but who are tiresome company. The man 
who monopolizes conversation is not popular, 
unless he is exceptionally brilliant. There 
are some men who talk so delightfully that 
we willingly make them the kings of the 
occasion. When asking such a person we 
must be careful to ask only one of the kind. 
Two supreme talkers at one board produce 
a fatal effect, unless one is so magnanimous 
as to abdicate in favor of the other. ^lark 
Twain expounds to us in his inimitable way 
why he kept silence when dining with the 
Kaiser, declaring generously that Emperor 
William was quite right to carry on the con- 
versation bv himself and that he, Mark 
Twain, would treat his imperial guest in the 
same way, should the latter ever chance to 
dine with the American humorist. 

It is said that a dinner-party composed 
entirely of young people is usually stupid, 
because they possess httle social experience. 
Men and women who are accustomed to soci- 
ety and possess some knowledge of the 
world, make agreeable dinner guests. They 
can converse on a number of topics and un- 
derstand the small talk which seems to be 

[122] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

as necessary as small change. Such persons 
will also be tactful and will endeavor to avoid 
topics that might pain or mortify some 
member of the company. A man of this 
sort, provided he is intelligent and not 
merely a society butterfly, is a boon to his 
hosts. It might not be well however, to ask 
him to meet a clever but very shy man who 
required drawing out, just as an amateur 
performer dislikes to play on the piano in 
the presence of a professional pianist or a 
musical critic. Our hostess should also be 
careful not to invite people together whose 
views or position in life are so different 
that they will not be apt to harmonize. 
Human society, like salad, requires a num- 
ber of different ingredients to give it flavor 
and piquancy, but we must not select those 
which, like oil and water, will not mix. There 
are some excellent persons who are extremely 
conventional in their tastes. They are lack- 
ing in imagination or in the sense of humor, 
and like to move always in the same groove, 
to meet always the same kind of people. 
Such persons are in reality extremely pro- 
vincial, although many of them are to be 

[123] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

found in large cities. If you have a friend 
who takes original views of life and expresses 
them in a delightful way, you may make the 
mistake of inviting your conventional friend 
to share your pleasure in meeting this re- 
freshing individual. The result will be dis- 
appointment unless the man who thinks for 
himself has already obtained name and fame. 
In this case our conventional friend will en- 
deavor to admire the lion, knowing that this 
will be the proper thing to do. It is not 
likely that the two men will find a common 
meeting ground and the clever man may be 
intensely bored. There are other men who, 
although somewhat conventional in their 
tastes, appreciate and enjoy meeting from 
time to time " All sorts and conditions of 
men." These persons, while accustomed to 
move in a polished and rather formal society, 
are catholic enough to find pleasure in the 
company of interesting men and women who 
have been brought up among other surround- 
ings. 

We must consider also the tastes and 
wishes of our man of original ideas, who can- 
not be expected to have much patience with 

[124] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

hopelessly dull or extremely conventional 
and narrow-minded persons. If he likes to 
dazzle, he will prefer to meet those who will 
appreciate but not emulate his cleverness ; if 
he is of nobler clay, he will enjoy above all 
things talking with his intellectual equals or 
even superiors. 

People who have similar tastes usually like 
to meet. If our hostess is inviting a friend 
who is a musician, she will probably ask also 
others who are fond of music. A little care 
must be exercised even here, for the extreme 
Wagnerian will not have much in common 
with the admirer of the Italian school of 
opera. However, if they are men of the 
world, they can talk on other subjects. A 
hostess cannot be expected to exercise more 
than a reasonable amount of precaution in 
selecting her guests, and her privileges as 
mistress of the occasion enable her to guide 
the conversation to some extent. 

Just here I think I hear our neophyte ex- 
claim, " Oh dear! I could never do that! " 
Yes you could, my young friend, if you felt 
it was your duty and if you had something to 
say. Remember how readily you talk among 

[125] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

your women friends, and try to select sub- 
jects of timely and general interest, such as 
the news of the day always offers — the last 
new novel or the last old one you have read, 
the most recent scientific discovery, the new 
opera of the season or any topic in which 
your hearers are hkely to be interested. 
It will not usually be necessary to do much 
talking yourself. You may start the ball 
rolling by introducing a subject, perhaps by 
asking a question of some one who is well 
informed about it. Such a person is usually 
glad to tell something of what he knows. 
Should the hostess notice a reluctance on his 
part to talk, she will not of course urge him 
to do so. He may have special reasons for 
remaining silent. 

People do not usually like to say much 
about their business or profession, lest they 
be accused of talking shop or of being ego- 
tistical. If our hostess has noticed in the 
course of her reading any curious little inci- 
dent, if she has recently heard some clever or 
amusing speech or a new story, she may like 
to retail this to the company. It is an art 
to tell a story well and one that should be 

[126] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

cultivated. The lady of the house, as ruler 
of the occasion, will endeavor to prevent the 
talk from running too much to anecdote. A 
few stories brighten conversation, but an ex- 
cess tends to produce silence, because there 
is no continuity between them, no thread of 
connection on which to hang farther talk. 
There is always the danger that some of the 
guests will have heard the story before, but 
this one cannot wholly avoid. It is a good 
rule to tell only those stories which one has 
heard recently, or which one has good reason 
to suppose will be new to the company. 

A watchful hostess will try to change the 
subject if she thinks it has lasted long 
enough, or if the discussion is becoming 
heated. All this she must do with great deli- 
cacy, speaking as if the new subject were 
something that had just occurred to her 
mind. It would never do for her to appear 
to dictate to her guests or to rebuke them in 
any way; neither must she appear pedantic 
nor anxious to display her own knowledge. 
Painful themes she will endeavor to avoid 
and if religious or political topics come up 
for discussion, she will try to prevent the 

[127] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

conversation from taking a tone likely to be 
offensive to some member of the company. 
If some one criticizes Methodism in the pres- 
ence of one of its adherents, she will hasten 
to say, " Mr. So-and-so is a Methodist, we 
must remember." Or if the relative of a 
guest is discussed, she will remind the com- 
pany of the relationship, unless something 
has already been said which would make such 
a revelation awkward. 

Should a tiresome person be inclined to 
take more than his fair share of the conversa- 
tion, she will try, should a good occasion 
offer, to draw out a more agreeable guest 
and to induce him to talk. She will here be 
treading on dangerous ground, as the tedious 
talker may take offence. Hence she will 
not meddle unless it seems necessary to res- 
cue her guests from a flood of dullness. 

It has been well said that success in enter- 
taining is accomplished by magnetism and 
tacto The first is a natural gift; the second 
can be cultivated and increases with one's 
social experience. A young hostess can take 
comfort in Emerson's saying, that women if 
not the queens are the law-givers in conver- 

[128] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

sation. By this the Sage of Concord meant 
that we should not attempt to be absolute 
rulers, and thus make ourselves heartily dis- 
liked, but should study the laws governing 
the art of conversation, for the administra- 
tion of which we have a natural aptitude. 
Since silence at a dinner-party tends to 
throw gloom over the occasion, it is best not 
to meddle too much with the flow of talk, 
lest we stop it entirely. Some regrettable 
speeches may be made, but we can no more 
avoid these altogether than other dangers in 
the path of life. 

In our large cities it is becoming custom- 
ary for people of wealth to hire professional 
entertainers when they give a dinner party. 
After leaving the table the guests listen to 
songs or arias rendered by concert or opera 
singers, to readings or recitations. Or they 
may have their fortunes told by a palmist 
or watch the graceful movements of a trained 
dancer. 

The devotees of Bridge often retire to the 
card-table at the conclusion of a dinner and 
spend the remainder of the evening playing 
their favorite game, 

[ 129 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

The invitations to an informal dinner are 
sometimes given verbally or over the tele- 
phone. The advantage of the written note 
is that it presents a reminder of the exact 
day and hour. For a formal dinner, written 
or engraved invitations are always used. 
These are issued as long in advance as may 
be necessary to secure the desired guests, two 
weeks or even more, in large cities in the 
height of the gay season. Our hostess will 
of course remember that she must not invite 
a wife without her husband or vice -versa, to 
any occasion to which both men and women 
are asked. As the space at table is necessar- 
ily limited, it is perfectly allowable and even 
customary to invite a sister without her 
brother, or one of several sisters or brothers. 
A guest may also be asked without her hosts, 
although it is kinder and more polite to in- 
clude the latter if possible. Hard feeling 
is sometimes engendered by these omissions, 
as in the case of a distinguished visitor who is 
invited to many social functions, no attention 
being paid to the family of her entertainers. 

The advantage of sending out dinner invi- 
tations in good season is that one thus has 

[130] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

time to invite other persons, should some of 
those asked in the first instance send regrets. 
Occasionally the hostess is obliged, almost 
at the last moment, to fill a place unex- 
pectedly left vacant. She must then turn 
to a relative or a friend whom she knows 
well, for it is not considered a compliment 
to ask a person to "fill in " at the eleventh 
hour. A good-natured man or woman is 
often willing thus to oblige a friend or an 
acquaintance. The hostess should frankly 
say to such a person that some one has disap- 
pointed her, and that it will be a great 
favor to her if Mr. So-and-so will kindly con- 
sent to fill the vacant place. She should be 
careful to show her sense of obligation by 
inviting him among the first, the next time 
she is able to do so, unless he is such a good 
friend as to make this imnecessary. 



1131] 




CHAPTER X 

THE DAY OF THE DINNER 

IHE hour chosen for the dinner 
must depend on local custom 
and on the circumstances of 
the case. In New York with 
its great distances, the ten- 
dency is to make the meal 
come later and later, for the convenience of 
business men and also no doubt, in imitation 
of English fashions. Eight o'clock is the 
time usually set for a large and formal din- 
ner, and sometimes half past eight is pre- 
ferred ; for a simpler occasion the invitations 
would be for seven or for half after seven 
o'clock. In smaller cities, hours are usually 
earlier. In suburban towns, where the men 
must rise early in order to take a train to the 
neighboring metropolis, it would be mani- 
festly inconvenient to make the evening meal 
very late. In imitating the English, it 
would be an excellent thing if we should 

1 132 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

copy their spirit of independence, which 
makes them do what seems best and fittest 
to themselves without regard for the ways 
of other nations. While we consider our- 
selves the freest people on earth, we are too 
often subservient to the opinions of others. 
Americans are greater slaves to fashion than 
any other nation on the face of the globe. 
We do not dare to wear clothes that are at 
all out of style, but foolishly buy new ones, 
whether we can afford them or not, with 
every change of fashion. A nation of work- 
ers and the citizens of a democracy, we try 
to pattern our lives socially after the man- 
ners of a ruling leisure class in a country 
where aristocratic traditions are firmly in- 
trenched by primogeniture and the tenure 
of landed estates. Let us by all means copy 
the graces and refinements of life, wherever 
we can find them, but let us adapt them to 
our own noble traditions of democratic sim- 
plicity and to the conditions of life in these 
United States of America, the country of 
the future and of the present. Blind imita- 
tion of others does not befit the dignity of our 
great Republic in this twentieth century. 

[133] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Our hostess will be wise if she does not 
attempt to do too many things on the day 
when she expects guests to dinner. If she 
spends the afternoon shopping or making a 
round of calls, she may be weary before the 
arrival of her friends, or she may not have 
time to give the necessary attention to the 
preparations for their reception. In order 
to make a dinner a delightful occasion, the 
lady of the house must be at her best, fresh 
and in good spirits. Said a distinguished 
American to an intimate friend with whom 
he had dined a short time before, " Don't let 
Mrs. X look so extremely anxious when she 
entertains." Mrs. X looked anxious because 
she felt so, thereby throwing a damper of 
which she was unconscious, on the spirits of 
the company. I am glad to add that after 
a little experience she learned to be a most 
delightful hostess. She soon came to under- 
stand that, in order to make her guests have 
a pleasant time, the mistress of the house 
must not attempt more than she and her 
household can manage without worry. It is 
better to have fewer persons present or fewer 
courses than to lose one's astral calm. 

[134] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Carelessness is in some respects worse than 
over-anxiety, since we are all more ready to 
forgive a person for paying too much atten- 
tion to our needs than for neglecting them. 
In order to be an ideal hostess one should 
exercise forethought and endeavor to make 
all her preparations in good season. Having 
done her best, she will meet her guests with 
serenity, remembering that food is the least 
important part of hospitality. To greet 
them with cordiality, to make them welcome 
beneath her roof and show them that their 
presence there gives her real pleasure, is her 
agreeable duty. The food which she sets 
before them is only the outward and visible 
sign of the inward feeling. It is one way of 
showing the hospitable spirit of the host, but 
it is not the only way and is really of less 
consequence, if we consider the matter 
rightly, than the manner and bearing of the 
master and mistress of the house. We must 
not only greet our guests cordially, we must 
continue to manifest a hospitable attitude of 
mind toward them while they remain with 
us. 

For these reasons, as well as for her own 
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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

comfort, our hostess and if possible our host 
also, should be ready and in the drawing- 
room a httle before the appointed time. This 
is especially necessary if friends are expected 
from a distance, since they will not be able to 
calculate the hour of their arrival so exactly 
as neighbors can, and they \^dll naturally wish 
to avoid being late. If a guest makes her 
appearance before the lady of the house has 
finished dressing, the latter will almost cer- 
tainly experience a feeling of annoyance, 
even though she knows it is her own fault 
for not being ready sooner. Therefore in 
order that the spirit of hospitality may not 
be thus unfortunately checked at the very 
outset, everything should be in readiness for 
the reception of the guests, ten or fifteen 
minutes before the hour appointed. It is 
now considered smart to prepare places 
doAvnstairs, where the guests can leave their 
things. An impromptu dressing room, with 
toilet appliances, may be arranged behind a 
screen for the ladies, unless there is a recep- 
tion room suitable for the purpose. The 
gentlemen are asked to leave their hats and 
coats in a hall where there is a mirror. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

At a large and ceremonious dinner, each 
lady's name is written on a diminutive card 
and enclosed in an envelope directed to the 
gentleman who is to take her in to the dining- 
room. These missives are left in the men's 
dressing room or handed on a small salver 
to the guests on their arrival. 

According to the English custom, a low- 
cut dress is the proper costume for late din- 
ner, as for evening wear in general. Much 
must depend on local usage, however. In 
many parts of our country, only young girls 
wear full low-neck, older ladies preferring 
a modification of this. A host will take 
into consideration the probable costume of 
his guests. For a large and formal dinner, 
he would unhesitatingly wear the regulation 
swallow-tail coat. For smaller occasions he 
would ask himself, " What will my friends 
wear? " A host never wishes to be so ar- 
rayed as to eclipse his guests or to make them 
feel uncomfortable. Fortunately the dinner- 
jacket or Tuxedo coat, worn with a black tie, 
presents a compromise, since it is not exactly 
full dress and yet is reserved for informal 
evening wear. 

[137] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

The hostess will be careful to introduce 
each gentleman to the lady whom he is to 
take in to dinner, unless they are already 
acquainted. If the gathering is a small one, 
she will introduce all the guests to each other, 
doing so quietly and one or two at a time. 
While it is the undoubted prerogative of the 
lady of the house to introduce any of the 
guests under her roof, she may not always 
think it best to do so. It is a rule of good- 
breeding neither to make nor to withhold in- 
troductions where this would cause awkward- 
ness. Thus it is manifestly unpleasant for 
one person to be presented to five or six other 
guests as soon as he enters the room. He 
will not know which is which, he will bow to 
the wrong man or woman and the result will 
be a feeling of constraint. On the other 
hand, if he knows no one, he will feel ill at 
ease and out of place. Therefore a wdse 
hostess watches her guests and introduces 
them as occasion demands, endeavoring to 
have no one feel neglected. The English 
rule, whereby all guests feel at liberty to 
speak to each other at the house of a friend, 
whether they have been introduced or not, 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

does not find general favor with us, although 
it has been adopted to a certain extent. 

If only a few friends are expected and 
they come punctually, it will be possible to 
sit down to table soon after the appointed 
hour. If there are many guests, dinner 
should be ordered fifteen minutes later 
than the hour named in the invitations. The 
hostess will be apt to wait ten or fifteen min- 
utes longer for some one who has been de- 
tained, unless the company are going after- 
ward to the opera or some entertainment 
which makes delay inadvisable. One must 
not sacrifice the pleasure or convenience of 
the punctual guests to that of late-comers. 

Our hostess should tell the waitress before- 
hand how many persons are expected, in 
order that the latter may know when she may 
announce dinner. If the dining-room ad- 
joins the drawing-room, she may do this sim- 
ply by throwing aside the portieres or open- 
ing the folding doors, as the case may de- 
mand. Or she may enter quietly and make 
a slight bow to her mistress, or say " Dinner 
is served." The host offers his arm to the 
lady in whose honor the entertainment is 

[139] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

given, to the oldest or most distinguished 
lady, to the wife of the most distinguished 
man or to a bride. In Washington, as in 
European countries, the order of precedence 
is considered of great importance, and all 
hostesses take great pains to give each person 
his due rank. This is entirely proper because 
at the seat of our national government, we 
must pay due respect to the office-holders 
who represent the dignity of the nation, as 
well as to the representatives of foreign gov- 
ernments. In other parts of the United 
States, we do not pay much attention to this 
matter, the theory being that in a Democratic 
country all are equal. When the Governor 
of a State, a United States Senator, the 
Mayor of the city or other person holding 
high political office, is present, the hosts will 
be careful to give him the chief room at the 
feast, however. He will come last with the 
hostess, the other guests having preceded 
them, going in arm in arm. As a rule the 
hostess goes in with the most distinguished 
man present or with the guest of honor of 
the occasion, mine host escorting the wife of 
the latter. At a small and informal dinner 

[140] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN ANB COUNTRY 

the ceremony of going in arm-in-arm can be 
dispensed with. 

In the chapter on Luncheons we have al- 
ready given some hints for the arrangement 
of the table. 

A new and ingenious scheme of decoration 
upsets all the ideas to which we have become 
accustomed. Where this is used, ornamental 
silver is banished to the plate chest and the 
table is arranged to represent a formal gar- 
den. In the centre is a miniature reproduc- 
tion of a fountain at Versailles, for instance. 
A mirror represents the surface of the water 
which is bordered by a coping of biscuit^ 
majolica or other ware, by way of edge to 
the basin. The projecting figures of horses, 
Tritons or what not, are cut in half, thus con- 
veying the impression that they are partly 
concealed by the water. Some opulent hosts 
have actually placed mimic fountains of sil- 
ver, that of Apollo at Versailles, for in- 
stance, throwing jets of real water, on their 
tables, the mechanism being concealed be- 
low, but this device is too troublesome as 
well as too expensive, to come into general 
use. Gravelled paths (which may be made 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

from sand paper) with formal box borders, 
radiate from the centre and terminate in 
Tanagra figurines in imitation of garden 
statuary. Those made of biscuit look very 
much like white marble. They may be re- 
placed or supplemented by miniature orange 
trees in china pots. The last-named are 
made of Italian pottery and offer a wide 
scope for the display of artistic taste and 
ingenuity. Some are in the form of a beau- 
tiful vase decorated with a tiny garland of 
roses, others are of plain green ware. Occa- 
sionally in the house of some Croesus, the 
oranges themselves are illuminated by tiny 
electric bulbs placed inside the fruit. 

The miniature trees in their dainty pots 
form an important part of the decorative 
scheme and may be set about the table at 
appropriate points, keeping in view always, 
the general plan of reproducing an Italian 
or French garden. The paths also may be 
arranged in other ways. For simpler din- 
ners, a centre piece of formal greenery, with 
four cut bay trees at the corners may be used. 

These decorations are pretty and charm- 
ing toys for grown-up people. The whole 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

scheme is highly artificial and has replaced 
natural flowers and greenery to a certain 
extent. It is safe to predict that the latter 
will always remain in favor with many peo- 
ple, especially in the summer season, when 
it seems a pity not to use the wealth of beau- 
tiful blossoms at our very doors. 

A simple name card at each place is now 
preferred to the elaborate affairs so fashion- 
able at one time. 

For dinner there must always be a cloth, 
a plain white one being usually preferred. 
If a lace cloth is put over this, no centre-piece 
should be used. In other respects all will be 
much the same as at a formal lunch, save that 
soup will be served in plates instead of cups ; 
if butter is used, there should be small in- 
dividual plates for it instead of the larger 
ones used for bread and butter at lunch. 
Strictly speaking, butter should not be put 
on the table at dinner, but we do see it on 
informal occasions where people are very 
fond of it. 

Raw oysters or little-neck clams in their 
season were at one time the usual first course 
at dinner, but are not so much in favor now 

[143] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

as many persons are afraid to eat them, ow- 
ing to the danger of thus contracting ty- 
phoid fever. Grape-fruit often replaces 
them, or later in the season strawberries, 
melons or other fruit. An informal dinner 
often begins with soup. According to pres- 
ent fashion, this is served from the pantry, 
the servant bringing in a plate in either hand. 
After the soup the regular order of service is 
— fish, one or more entrees, the roast ( filet 
of beef is much liked) , salad with or without 
gamCo Next come the sweet dishes, ices, 
meringues, pudding, pie, wine jelly or what- 
ever is preferred. Fruit, candies and black 
coffee follow, the latter being served in the 
drawing-room. 

This order of the repast has been copied 
from the French, but the number of 
courses and the consequent great amount of 
plate-washing involved, make it entirely un- 
suited to small establishments. In a country 
like ours where labor is so dear, the wisest 
course is to adopt the elegance of the French 
only so far as it is suited to our circumstances. 
Thus our hostess may copy Gallic custom 
in having only one or at most two vegetables 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

served with any one course. The little birds' 
bath-tubs, as the annex dishes have been 
nicknamed, are not at all " good form." The 
fashion of having all dishes carved in the 
butler's pantry or kitchen is entirely unsuited 
to a family where only one servant is kept, 
for it would delay the service too much. 
Some persons prefer to carve themselves, 
even where there are several servants. It 
gives a certain look of hospitality to have the 
traditional beef of Old England and of New 
England too for that matter, smoking on a 
platter of generous size set before the host 
and to behold him ministering in person to 
the wants of his guests. 

The mistress of the house may like to dis- 
pense the ice or pudding for the same reason. 
Where host and hostess take no part, allow- 
ing everything to be done by those in attend- 
ance, the personal element of service seems 
altogether wanting. According to old-fash- 
ioned ideas, one might as well dine at a hotel. 
One great advantage of the modern plan is 
that it leaves the hosts free to give their un- 
divided attention to the entertainment of the 
company. Each method has its advantages. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Wine has been going out of fashion for 
some years. Many people do not take it for 
fear of gout or rheumatism, while a wave of 
temperance is spreading over large sections 
of our country. Those w^ho are principled 
against wine in any form are not expected 
to set it before their friends. In that case 
the dinner should not be a long and heavy 
one, for many persons hold, whether rightly 
or wrongly I do not pretend to say, that wine 
is a necessary aid to the digestion of such a 
meal. It is the fashion to offer fewer vari- 
eties than formerly, white wine and cham- 
pagne or claret or champagne alone suffi- 
cing. At dinners for married people a mild 
cocktail is sometimes given. In this case 
there is no wine, whiskey and water being 
offered to the men. ApoUinaris water makes 
a very good beverage for dinner or luncheon. 

For a small and friendly occasion, the bill- 
of-fare may comprise soup, a roast of some 
sort with one or two vegetables, lettuce or 
other salad with French dressing, a nice 
homemade dessert and coffee. Soup is an 
important part of dinner except in hot 
weather when it is almost too heating. In 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

summer we especially enjoy salads, fruit and 
other articles of food that are cooling. 

The hostess will remember to give the sign 
for rising to the lady seated at her husband's 
right hand. The men may prefer to linger 
awhile at table after the departure of the 
ladies, and mine host will not forget to have 
a supply of cigars on hand for their use. 
With the more temperate habits of our day, 
it is customary for men to make only a short 
delay before joining the ladies in the draw- 
ing-room. A little music, not too serious in 
character, makes a pleasant ending to the 
evening, unless some other programme has 
been arranged or unless the guests are " go- 
ing on " to another entertainment. 



[147] 



CHAPTER XI 



DANCES 




|HE love of dancing seems to 
be innate in the heart of Man. 
Let the most wretched hand- 
organ begin to play and at 
once the children of the neigh- 
borhood, be it rich or poor, 
will fall to capering about in time to the 
music, if they are allowed to do as they 
please. Thus did primitive men dance, first 
as an act of worship and later for the pure 
joy of the rh}i:hmic motion. All young peo- 
ple, all who have music in their souls at least, 
are fond of this form of amusement, although 
they may hesitate to take part in it in pub- 
lic, unless they have acquired some knowl- 
edge of the art of dancing beforehand. 
Girls, most of whom seem to " dance by 
nature," are inclined to be critical of the sal- 
tatory efforts of young men, and the be- 
ginner is all the more awkward in his gyra- 

[148] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

tions because he is keenly aware of this fem- 
inine criticism, even if no word of it is 
spoken. When he has once mastered the 
Terpsichorean Art a magnificent revenge is 
in his power. Cannot he refuse to dance 
with any of the girls who have smiled at his 
humble beginnings, and so reduce them to 
despair? Next to being the head boy at 
school, there is no prouder position in human 
society than that of the accomplished and 
fashionable leader of the german. 

The hostess who plans giving a dance can 
usually count on the cordial interest and co- 
operation of the young women of her ac- 
quaintance, provided she can secure the at- 
tendance of a sufficient number of " Dancing 
Men." Indeed many girls will carry their 
disinterestedness so far as to be willing to 
give lessons, in the seclusion of their own 
drawing-rooms, to ambitious but awkward 
swains. Many a young fellow has been thus 
coached into a sufficient semblance of grace 
to enable him to appear passably in public, 
after a few lessons, perhaps supplemented 
by waltzing with a chair in the privacy of his 
own apartment. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

The men who refuse to enter the Hsts at 
a dance without preHminary practice are en- 
tirely in the right, for an unskilful dancer 
makes his partner appear awkward as well 
as himself, besides running the risk of pain- 
ful and disastrous collisions with other 
couples. Unfortunately those who have not 
the excuse of inexperience sometimes stand 
looking idly on, instead of joining the dan- 
cers. Perhaps they cannot secure the part- 
ners they prefer, or they are not in the mood. 
In a word, their behavior is a survival of the 
manners of boys at dancing school, manners 
that are so sadly familiar to all mothers who 
have dragged unwilling sons to dancing 
classes, only to see them decorate the benches 
on the masculine side of the hall. It is a part 
of the hostess' duty to try to overcome this 
vis inerti^e of the young men and in this her 
whole family, husband, sons and daughters, 
should assist her. A cheerful yet resolute 
attitude of mind will be found of great as- 
sistance. 

When a lady has invited a number of 
young men and maidens to dance and have 
a good time at her house, she has a right to 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

assume that they mean to do their share 
toward the success of the entertainment, and 
to show by her manner that she expects them 
to enter into the spirit of the occasion. The 
hostess gives the tone to all festivities and 
if she is amiable, gay and energetic, most 
of her guests will have the courtesy and good 
feeling to respond in the same key. It goes 
without saying that she must not appear mas- 
terful nor be too persistent. Her efforts 
must be tactful and she should be cheerfully 
persuasive rather than dictatorial. Men in- 
stinctively resent the assumption of a tone 
of mastery by a woman, while they are usu- 
ally glad to respond to an appeal to their 
chivalry and courtesy. 

Since the hostess cannot leave her place 
so long as her guests are arriving, she usu- 
ally asks two or more friends to help her 
receive and to make the necessary introduc- 
tions at a large dance. These assistant host- 
esses should be ladies of social tact and ex- 
perience, who know most of those present. 
A number of young men possessing similar 
qualifications are sometimes asked to see that 
all are provided with partners and to intro- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

duce people. It is a part of their duty to 
see that the men who can not dance at least 
make themselves agreeable by talking, wait- 
ing on the ladies at supper-time, etc. 
Whether a man can dance or not, he can 
promenade with a partner between the num- 
bers and he can escort some lady in to supper. 
It is so dreary for a young girl to be obliged 
to sit quiet while her companions are having 
a delightful time, it becomes so mortifying 
if she is left long in this painful position, that 
the hosts and their assistants should make 
every effort to prevent their guests from 
lapsing into the condition of wall-flowers. A 
girl may be a good dancer, indeed she may 
be very charming in every way, but if she 
knows few of the men present, she must in- 
evitably sit still unless someone comes to her 
assistance and introduces partners to her. All 
this requires a certain delicacy of manage- 
ment. No girl of proper spirit likes to be 
considered an object of social charity. If a 
good-natured but tactless hostess should say 
within her hearing, " I wish you would let 
me introduce you to Miss G— . She has 
been sitting alone for several dances and she 

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^ HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

is really a very charming girl," Miss G — 
would feel mortified, and the young man 
might hesitate to make the acquaintance 
of a seemingly unpopular person. Whereas 
if the lady of the house says: " I want you 
to meet Miss G — ; she dances beautifully, 
but she knows very few people here to- 
night," or " She is a great favorite with 
all who know her," the young man will be 
much more inclined to make her acquaint- 
ance. 

These awkward moments are not so likely 
to arise where the mothers are invited with 
their daughters. If a girl is not dancing 
she can sit quietly beside her mother until 
her next partner comes to claim her. Un- 
fortunately most private houses are too small 
to accommodate many persons in addition 
to the dancers. If our hostess does not in- 
vite the mothers, she should at least ask a 
number of older ladies to be present and act 
as chaperones, whenever this is necessary. 
Seats should of course be provided for those 
who do not dance and a few for those who 
do, but who may wish to rest from time to 
time. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

It has been said that the invitations for 
a dance should include ten per cent more men 
than women, but this would often be im- 
possible in a small place. A hostess should 
endeavor to have the number as nearly even 
as possible, with a slight preponderance of 
men. Where the latter are greatly in ex- 
cess, they are apt to gather in a solemn 
black-coated group near the door or at some 
coign of vantage. Once assembled together, 
they remember the power that lies in mere 
numbers and too often resist all efforts to 
dislodge them, whereas singly they would be 
as meek as lambs. 

Some of the merriest dances are im- 
promptu affairs got up on the spur of the 
moment, at the end of a dinner or some other 
entertainment. If the girls outnumber the 
men, they will be willing to dance together 
at such a frolic, while even the man with a 
Quaker foot will be tempted to join in the 
lively Virginia Reel. 

In addition to a sufficient number of 
youths and maidens to give spirit to the oc- 
casion, the most important requisites for a 
successful dance are a good floor, a large 

[154] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

and well-ventilated room or hall, enough 
light to be cheerful but not dazzling, and 
last but not least, good music. A hard-wood 
floor, well waxed or oiled but not made too 
slippery, is the best for dancing. All small 
mats should be removed from this, for there 
is nothing so treacherous as a woolen or fur 
rug on a smooth floor. Linen crash may be 
stretched over a carpeted room, but it must 
be tightly drawn and securely fastened 
down. An ordinary floor, if it is well laid, 
is sometimes used for dancing. The old 
fashion was to relieve the bareness by draw- 
ing ornaments in chalk. I have seen the 
floor of the Naval Academy at Newport 
thus adorned with mathematical designs. 

The question of space is very important. 
Americans dance well and rapidly. Their 
style of movement, easy, graceful and along 
large lines, corresponds one may fancy, to 
the long distances and great open spaces of 
an immense and sparsely settled continent. 
The Englishman, belonging to a large popu- 
lation set compactly down on a small island, 
does not expect to move in the same broad 
free way. He is quite content to revolve 

[155] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

mildly and slowly in the midst of a crowd, 
turning around always in the same direction, 
because there is not room to do anything 
else. The American moves Tvdth more dash 
and he despises monotony — he knows how 
to reverse when dancing and he requires the 
space necessary to do so. Hence he enjoys 
dances given in an assembly room or in a 
large hall more than those in a private house, 
unless the latter is exceptionally spacious. 
Many hostesses in large cities hire assembly 
rooms when they give a ball. This is in- 
finitely better than overcrowding one's 
dwelling and making everybody uncom- 
fortable, although an entertainment in a pri- 
vate house has an atmosphere of hospitality 
which is hard to replace in a public or semi- 
public hostelry. 

If our hostess decides to give a dance at 
her own residence, she must be careful to 
invite only so many people as her rooms 
will accommodate comfortably. She will use 
every available inch of space, removing 
all superfluous furniture and especially all 
bric-a-brac and light objects liable to be 
overturned by the rapidly moving dancers. 

[156] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

She may, if she likes, provide a card-room 
for the elders, but experience shows that few 
persons can be persuaded to remain away 
from the main scene of action. The pleas- 
ure of watching others dance comes next to 
that of dancing one's self. The whole house 
should be well aired before the arrival of 
the guests, and the rooms should be cool 
rather than warm at the beginning of the 
evening, as they will heat up rapidly with 
the lights and the presence of many people. 
Electricity is preferable to gas because it is 
less heating, and the lights should be placed 
high in order that they may not be dazzling 
to the eyes. Flowers add much to the beauty 
of the occasion, but it is in better taste to have 
a moderate display rather than one which 
will excite a great deal of comment. The 
furniture of a lady's house, like her dress, 
should be in proportion to her means, with 
a leaning to simplicity rather than to osten- 
tation. Neither should be so showy as to 
attract particular attention. 

The number of musicians must depend on 
the size of the rooms and the formality of 
the occasion. For a small informal dance, 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the piano alone is often used. A profes- 
sional player should be employed or at least 
some one who is accustomed to playing dance 
music. The time must be carefully marked 
and the music must be loud enough to be 
distinctly audible but not deafening. A vio- 
lin, cornet, harp or 'cello may accompany 
the piano. The effect is more agreeable 
where only stringed instruments are used, 
perhaps with a cornet in addition, a group 
of from three to six musicians being seated 
in some convenient alcove screened off by 
palms or other greenery. The presence of 
the performers behind this " bosquet," as a 
wit laughingly called it, gives an air of fes- 
tivity to any occasion, it must be confessed. 
If there is to be a german, chairs should 
be hired for it unless, as in some large es- 
tablishments, there is a supply of light 
chairs, all of the same pattern and suitable 
alike for a " CotilHon " or a " Musical." A 
set of numbered cards in duplicate should 
also be procured. The chairs should be tied 
together in couples and arranged against 
the wall while the guests are at supper, as 
the german usually begins immediately af- 

Iil58] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

terwards. Each pair should have a number 
attached to it, the dupHcate numbers being 
given to the gentlemen who are to take part 
in the cotillion. The distribution is usually 
made by the leader of the german or the 
guests may draw the cards from a basket. 

The hostess should also provide several 
sets of favors, as these add much to the in- 
terest and picturesqueness of the dance. A 
great variety of them can now be procured, 
something new being always liked if it is 
pretty. The lady of the house will do well 
to consult with the leader of the german 
before she lays in a stock of these dainty 
trifles. She should engage his services in 
plenty of time beforehand, taking care to 
select a person accustomed to fulfill the deli- 
cate duties of the position, and asking him 
to call and see her in order to arrange the 
details of the dance. We have already in- 
timated that a popular leader is a person of 
great consequence and it is usually wise to 
entrust the reins to his competent hands. 
There are usually from three to six favor 
figures, the handsomest being reserved for 
the last. 

[159] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Unless the occasion is extremely informal, 
it is best to employ an experienced caterer 
who can make all the arrangements for the 
supper, and thus save the hostess a great 
deal of anxiety. She must, of course, have 
a definite agreement with him beforehand 
as to bill-of-fare and prices; otherwise the 
bills might be heavy or even extortionate. 
She will also find it well to have two or more 
of the caterer's men to wait upon the guests, 
with the assistance of the gentlemen present. 
Professional waiters not only give an air of 
greater elegance to an occasion, they are also 
more efficient, prompt and economical than 
amateurs and less likely to injure the ladies' 
dresses by spilling things on them. The 
simplest method is to serve the supper from 
a large table, handsomely decorated and well 
lighted. Or the guests may be seated at 
small tables and the supper served in courses. 
These are sometimes brought in and distrib- 
uted about the rooms at the appointed time. 
This method requires more service (one com- 
petent waiter to eight or twelve persons 
seated at two tables), a greater number of 
courses and more space; it also takes more 

[160] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

time. It is certainly more comfortable for 
the guests to eat at a table, where all the ar- 
rangements are well made. We would not 
advise the inexperienced hostess to try this 
form of service, unless she has the assistance 
of a thoroughly competent and experienced 
caterer. 

In providing the supper our hosts should 
remember that dancing is hungry work and 
that young people have good appetites. 
They are not usually such epicures as their 
elders and are sometimes surprisingly indif- 
ferent to food, if they are having a delight- 
ful time. Something sustaining is required, 
such as salads and oysters or croquettes, 
something cooling also — ices and lemonade 
or other refreshing drinks. A more elabo- 
rate supper can be served if the lady of the 
house prefers. A bowl of lemonade or 
punch should stand in the hall or in some 
convenient spot throughout the evening. A 
second supper, in which bouillon should be 
included, is sometimes served for those who 
dance the german. 

In cities it is usual to provide a carpet 
and an awning over the sidewalk and steps, 

[161] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

also a man to open the doors of the carriages, 
give duplicate checks to the occupants and 
their drivers and summon the latter at the 
close of the entertainment. The host should 
not forget to let this functionary know at 
what hour carriages should be ordered. 
Some one should be stationed at the door in 
order that the guests may be admitted with- 
out delay. 

A dressing-room or rooms for the ladies 
and one or more for the men should be pro- 
vided. One or more persons should be sta- 
tioned in the former to help remove the 
wraps. Checks for these are sometimes used, 
if many guests are expected. An array of 
toilette appliances should be on the dressing- 
table, by no means forgetting pins, needles 
and thread. Dreadful accidents sometimes 
happen to ball dresses, from rash intruding 
feet, and the thoughtful hostess who insists 
that a maid shall be in attendance through- 
out the evening, to repair damages to the 
toilettes of the guests, may earn the heart- 
felt gratitude of " maidens all forlorn " with 
skirts all tattered and torn. If dance-cards 
with pencils attached are provided, they are 

1 162] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

placed in the dressing-rooms or are handed 
on a tray just outside the door of the draw- 
ing-room. In the dressing-room for the 
men, cigars and effervescent waters are 
sometimes found. 

Our hostess will carefully consider the 
customs of the town or city where she lives 
before deciding whether she will have her 
guests formally announced. The custom is 
growing in favor and where the man-serv- 
ant stationed at the door makes the an- 
nouncement, as it should be made, in clear 
and distinct tones, it is a decided help to the 
lady of the house, when many guests are 
expected. She is thus enabled to identify 
quickly persons with whose faces she is not 
very familiar or whom she may not know 
by sight. To those unused to this custom 
however, it seems extremely stiif and formal. 
A hospitable hostess hesitates to introduce 
usages new to the place and savoring of a 
formality that may not be pleasing to her 
guests. She should shake hands with all, 
thus assuring them of a personal welcome. 
If she has daughters, they usually stand be- 
side her and are presented to all whom they 

[163] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

'' do not already know. Sometimes only the 
debutante daughter, in whose honor the 
dance is given, stands by her mother. Mine 
host may help his wife to welcome their 
guests, if he wishes to do so. If she has asked 
friends to receive with her, she places them 
at her side and presents to them everyone 
whom they do not know. 

When the dancing begins, the daughters 
leave their position to join in it, returning 
between the numbers to their places in the 
receiving line, so long as the guests continue 
to come. The hostess must remain at her 
post until all have arrived. If she is young 
and fond of dancing, she may take part in 
it if she wishes, later in the evening, provided 
she does not neglect her guests. She should 
see that all the young girls have partners 
before she joins the dancers; otherwise she 
will appear selfish and inconsiderate. Thus 
a certain young hostess at a popular summer 
resort roused the ire of the matrons by her 
indifference to the pleasure of her guests. 
She passed the evening in alternately dan- 
cing and rushing up and down her piazza 
to cool off. Of course such conduct is ex- 

[164] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

tremely ill-bred as well as selfish. As we 
have said before, the host and the sons and 
daughters of the house should make every 
effort to provide their young guests with 
partners. It would not look well for the 
young hostesses to dance continuously where 
there were not partners enough for all, while 
it would not be expected that they should 
refrain from dancing altogether. 

When the hour for supper arrives, the 
doors of the dining-room are thrown open 
and the musicians play a march. Mine host 
leads the way, taking in the oldest or the 
most distinguished lady present. The rest 
of the company follow with little formality. 
The hostess needs to be especially watchful 
at this time, to see that all the ladies are 
provided with escorts so far as possible and 
that all find their way to the supper-room. 
Where the service is at small tables under 
the charge of an experienced caterer, she 
may dismiss anxiety from her mind and take 
her seat at the table provided for the hosts 
and such guests as they wish especially to 
distinguish. 

The hour for the dance will depend upon 
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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

local custom. In recent years balls in our 
large cities have begun and ended at ab- 
surdly late hours. The Cinderella dances, 
closing at midnight, mark a sensible move- 
ment in the other direction. A wise host- 
ess will, for the sake of all concerned, try 
to make the hours as early as she can. 
Where a single frolic is in question, it does 
not so much matter. It does not kill any 
one to sit up late once in a while. But where 
there is a round of gayety, everybody be- 
comes completely exhausted and a pain is 
too often made of a pleasure. The girls lose 
their bloom and look weary and faded. It 
is even harder for their partners, who are 
usually obliged to arise betimes next morn- 
ing, in order to attend to business. If the 
dance extends beyond midnight, it should 
not last later than two or at the outside three 
o'clock. 

When the party breaks up, the host will 
give all necessary assistance to ladies who 
are without escort. He will see that their 
carriages are called and assist them to get 
in, or telephone for tardy vehicles. It often 
happens that someone's carriage is very late, 

[166] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

especially in a small place where one or two 
livery stables are obliged to supply a large 
demand. This is equally trying for hostess 
and guest, but there is nothing to do except 
to wait good-humoredly till the expected 
vehicle arrives. 

A dinner dance is a pleasant form of en- 
tertainment and easy for the hostess in some 
ways since it can be quite informal. It en- 
tails the additional trouble of entertaining 
a number of guests at dinner, it is true, and 
of issuing two sets of invitations, one to those 
who are asked to dine and another to those 
who are expected to come later for the dance. 
There is also the possibility that those who 
are asked for the latter only may take um- 
brage. They ought not to do so, for mani- 
festly there cannot be room for all at the 
table, but human beings are frequently un- 
reasonable. A combination dinner dance 
happily avoids the necessity of making any 
invidious distinction between the guests. 
Several ladies combine, each giving a din- 
ner at her own residence. The guests may 
be seated at one large table or at several 
small ones, according to the number present 

[167] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

and the convenience of the hostess. Later 
in the evening they are conveyed to the 
house of the lady who is to give the dinner 
dance. This is usually a cotillion, supper fol- 
lowing in due course. Or the last hostess 
may prefer to entertain her friends at a hall 
or at assembly rooms and thus offer more 
space for dancing. 

Our young matron should remember that 
the word " ball " must never be used in her 
invitations. She may " request the pleas- 
ure " or use the " At Home " form, as she 
prefers, with " Dancing " in the lower left- 
hand corner, or " Cotillion " if that dance 
is to occupy the evening. The hour when it 
is to begin is usually mentioned, as " Cotil- 
lion at ten." For an informal dance, the 
hostess may write a friendly note in the first 
person or write more formally in the third 
if she prefers. The telephone is often used 
to invite friends to an impromptu occasion 
arranged at short notice. 



[168] 




PART III 
CHAPTER XII 

TWENTIETH CENTURY COSTUME DANCES AND 
MASKED BALLS 

[OSTUME parties and dances 
are always popular and need 
not be expensive. Indeed it 
is a great deal more fun to 
plan and arrange one's own 
dress, than to hire everything 
ready-made from the costumer. A party of 
young people often find infinite amusement 
in ransacking the family wardrobes and the 
old trunks in the attic, for odds and ends of 
apparel with which to make up the dif- 
ferent characters. The trying-on of Grand- 
mother's silk pelisse or Grandfather's blue 
wedding coat, all brave with brass buttons, 
but absurdly short in the waist, is a part of 
the fun. Nothing is more quaint than an 
old fashion plate and antiquated styles of 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dress strike us as ridiculous unless they are 
exceptionally picturesque. Hence the per- 
ennial popularity of Old Folks' Concerts or 
Spelling Bees in which all the performers 
appear in the curious, ugly costumes of the 
early 19th century. For more formal occa- 
sions, such as Fancy Dress Balls and Art- 
ists' Festivals, a serious study of costume 
is often made. The shelves of reference 
libraries are ransacked for colored plates and 
old engravings, and the figures in these are 
reproduced as nearly as possible, with the 
aid of a skilful dressmaker. In order to 
show the costumes to advantage, special 
quadrilles and other dances are arranged in 
which all who take part are dressed alike, 
or wear costumes of the same period. Thus 
we have a Louis Quinze or a Mary Queen 
of Scots set, a Hunt quadrille, a Spanish 
dance or a Colonial minuet. 

Masked balls afford a great deal of fun 
but need to be conducted with extreme care, 
in order to prevent the intrusion of uninvited 
guests or undesirable persons. At private 
masquerades, the gentlemen are often asked 
to show their faces to the host, at the begin- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ning of the evening " As an evidence - of 
good faith." Sometimes only the ladies ap- 
pear in disguise. Fancy dress is often worn 
on these occasions, dominoes and masks 
being laid aside at supper time. 

THE AUTOMOBILE BALL 

is a new form of masquerade appropriate to 
the twentieth century. In lieu of the ordi- 
nary dominoes and masks, all wear huge 
goggles with lace or silk ruffle falling below 
and long dust cloaks. The ladies have large 
motor veils of any color they prefer, tied 
around their heads or worn loosely about 
their necks as scarfs. Some wear hats tied 
down at the sides in the usual fashion. The 
men appear in the regulation motoring cap. 
The musicians are provided with an auto- 
mobile horn, whose " Honks " punctuate one 
or two dances in the course of the evening. 
The men may wear on their backs huge num- 
bers like those attached to motor cars. It 
will add to the interest and amusement if 
they retain these after laying aside their dis- 
guise, as the maskers will thus be enabled to 
identify each other. 

[171] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 



AN EVENING AT THE HAGUE. 

may be made to furnish a great deal of 
amusement. The occasion is intended to 
present a picture of the happy state of things 
to be expected, when the principles of the 
Hague Conference, Universal Peace and 
Brotherhood, prevail throughout the World. 
People and ideas now strongly opposed to 
each other, are shown living together in per- 
fect harmony, save for an occasional recol- 
lection of former differences of opinion. 
The programme begins with a grand march, 
the guests promenading in couples. They 
pass in review before their hostess, the Spirit 
of Peace, who is robed in classic drapery and 
crowned with laurel. She sits on a slightly 
raised dais, bearing a palm in her hand. 
The Emperor of Russia comes first, with the 
Douma leaning on his arm. This part is 
personated by a young woman dressed as 
a Russian peasant, wearing a sash with 
" Douma " printed on it in large letters. 
President Taft smiling blandly and William 
J. Bryan bearing the orator's scroll, follow 
arm-in-arm. Emperor William and the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

President of France appear side by side, 
looking lovingly at each other. The Canal 
Zone, a lady wearing hoop skirts, with a 
wide stiff band around the bottom to repre- 
sent the zone, walks with an anti-imperialist. 
The last named has his hands full of pam- 
phlets which he scatters among the audience. 
Uncle Sam escorts Nicaragua, while the 
State of California languishes on the arm of 
a Chinaman and Columbia is paired off with 
the Yellow Peril. The other nations of the 
earth, dressed in appropriate costume, com- 
plete the political part of the procession. 

The fair automobilist with veil and gog- 
gles, marches with her late enemy, the rural 
policeman. He is made up like a rustic with 
red chin beard, a constable's badge, helmet 
and stick showing his authority. The house- 
keeper and the Beef Trust may come next, 
succeeded by the lion and the lamb, a very 
large man representing the king of beasts 
and a very small woman his partner. Cot- 
ton wool sewed on muslin cloth, with pointed 
ears of cardboard, will give something of a 
sheep's head effect. Andrew Carnegie, 
bearing a miniature library building under 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

his arm, promenades with Gompers and a 
United States Custom House officer appears 
with a fair traveller just returned from Eu- 
rope. A Wall Street Bull carries a large 
Teddy Bear with affectionate care. 

Lieutenant Peary and Doctor Cook, 
rival Arctic explorers, go hand-in-hand, 
each bearing a North Pole under his arm 
labelled " Mine." Or one may drag a sled 
and the other a pair of toy dogs. After 
the march come a series of harmony dances, 
performed by the chief couples in turn. 
Thus Emperor William and the French 
President begin with deep bows ; they dance 
toward each other with many gestures of 
friendliness. Soon the old hostility revives 
a little, frowns succeeding to smiles. Peace 
finally prevails and they skip off hand in 
hand. The last number on the programme 
is a millennial quadrille, terminating with all 
hands round and grand right and left. 

THE BABY PARTY 

The colored supplements of the Sunday 
newspapers have suggested another novelty, 

[ 1^4 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the Baby Party. This may take the form of 
a dinner to which all the young guests come, 
dressed like little Boy Blue, Bo-Peep, 
Buster Brown or other infant prodigies of 
the Daily Press. Enough persons are usu- 
ally invited to make up a dance afterward 
without the addition of other guests. 

In the succeeding chapter (Musicals and 
Private Theatricals) some new fancy dances 
are described. 



[175] 



CHAPTER XIII 



MUSICALS AND PRIVATE THEATRICALS 




F a lady is fond of music and 
has friends who can assist her, 
she may hke to give a Mus- 
ical. The requirements for 
this are greater than they for- 
merly were. With the devel- 
opment of taste and the increase of musical 
culture among our people, a higher standard 
of excellence is demanded of the performers. 
A hostess therefore, needs to have a knowl- 
edge of her subject in addition to a love of 
sweet sounds. Indeed so exacting have con- 
ditions become in our large cities, that some 
ladies who were once in the habit of enter- 
taining their friends with performances on 
the piano, for instance, no longer do so, 
thinking the latter have ceased to care to 
listen to amateurs. The mechanical excel- 
lence of the pianola, the Victor and other 

[J176] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

musical machines also tends to discourage the 
unprofessional singer and player. It would 
be a great mistake however, to abandon the 
cultivation of music, one of the greatest 
sources of innocent and elevating pleasure, 
in the home. Let us be modest by all means 
about displaying our small talents before 
large and critical audiences, but we may 
surely ask a few friends to share our pleas- 
ure when we have learned to do some simple 
thing really well. The rendering of florid 
operatic airs and difficult instrumental music 
may very properly be left to professional 
musicians. The amateur may practise these, 
but when he plays before company he should 
confine himself to something which he has 
mastered. The moment he attempts a piece 
involving difficult technique, his hearers will 
involuntarily institute a comparison between 
his performance and that of Paderewski or 
some other great artist. The modern ama- 
teur, unlike those of an earlier day, avoids 
concert pieces and chooses some simple little 
thing, some ballad perhaps, which charms 
by its sweetness, its pathos or its humor, or 
some popular song of the day. 

[177] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Our young hostess will endeavor to have 
her programme of this unostentatious char- 
acter, cautioning the friends who are to help 
her against over-ambitious attempts. She 
will also try to fit her audience to her pro- 
gramme, inviting so far as possible those 
who love music, but not asking musical ex- 
perts and critics of fastidious taste. To such 
persons any performance but the very best 
is often painful. Such a programme as we 
have indicated befits an informal occasion. 

It may take place either in the afternoon 
or in the evening. If the former time is 
chosen, the affair will be conducted much 
hke an afternoon tea, the guests sitting about 
as they please, the hostess remaining near 
the door, in order to greet quietly those who 
enter while the music is going on, and to 
signify to them by a sign that silence is to be 
maintained. The tendency of certain human 
beings to behave like canary birds, opening 
their mouths to chatter so soon as they hear 
the sound of music, will be one of the snags 
in the path of our hostess. In order to avoid 
this difficulty, she will only invite as many 
guests as can be comfortably accomjnodated 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN ANT> COUNTRY 

in the room where the music is given. If 
they run over into the hall or into some other 
room where they cannot hear well, there will 
be a greater temptation to talk, especially 
as they will thus be removed from the imme- 
diate presence of the hostess. 

For these reasons the dining-room will not 
be thrown open while the music is going on. 
Tea or some simple refreshments should be 
served, either in an intermission or at the 
close of the programme. This should not 
be very long and need not be continuous on 
an informal occasion. The guests can 
change their seats from time to time and 
all constraint be thus happily avoided. An 
evening musical may be of the same informal 
character. In an apartment or in a house 
where the rooms are small, it may not be 
practicable to confine the guests so strictly. 
Where they are scattered through several 
apartments the lady of the house or one of 
her friends should take the pains to visit 
these before the beginning of each number 
and say, '' Miss So-and-so is going to sing 
now " or something of the sort, in order to 
ensure silence during the performance. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

People will of course talk between the num- 
bers. 

If a hostess can offer to her friends a more 
serious programme, rendered either by pro- 
fessional artists or by amateurs of consider- 
able musical attainments, she may issue in- 
vitations for a more formal occasion. Here 
again she must beware of the proverbial 
jealousy of artists. She need not be sur- 
prised if Miss Slender, who has accepted an 
invitation to sing, should reconsider if the 
renowned Miss Warbler consents to take a 
place on the programme. Miss S. may 
feel that her light voice would be com- 
pletely eclipsed by the more powerful tones 
of Miss W. Amateurs often object very 
properly to appearing with professionals. 
They might thus seem to arrogate to them- 
selves a greater degree of proficiency than 
they really claim or possess. Your profes- 
sional also has his views as to the class of per- 
formers with whom he is willing to appear. 
In addition to all this, the unity of the pro- 
gramme must be preserved ; it must not con- 
sist of incongruous elements, however excel- 
lent each one may be in itself. Many of 

[180] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

these difficulties were encountered by the 
writer when she undertook, in the rashness 
of youth, to get up an amateur concert. She 
suffered much anxiety and worry of mind, 
it is needless to say, but the project was 
finally carried through triumphantly, by the 
kindness of certain artists — some of them 
professional and others amateur — who con- 
sented to take part and who kept their prom- 
ises. 

As the singing voice is a very delicate 
thing and easily affected by the state of the 
owner's health, a hostess must not be of- 
fended if a singer, finding herself hoarse on 
the day of the entertainment, is obliged to 
send her excuses. To guard against such 
contingencies, it is well to have an under- 
study on one's list, or the other vocalists may 
kindly consent to render additional numbers 
and thus fill up the deficiencies in the pro- 
gramme. 

It is against the rules of etiquette to ask 
a professional musician to sing or play with- 
out offering to compensate him for his serv- 
ices. One may be on such terms of intimacy 
or friendship as to make such a request 

[ 181 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

proper, but one should remember that an 
artist's talent is his capital. To ask him to 
give it away is like requesting a merchant 
to present one with a barrel of flour or other 
commodity. A story is told of some 
thoughtless guests who, happening to meet 
a distinguished prima donna at an evening 
reception, urged her to sing. " I will do so 
if the master of the house asks me," was the 
reply. At the solicitation of the indiscreet 
guests, the host did make the request and 
the diva sang several times, making the 
same condition before each song. On the 
following day mine host received from her a 
bill for several hundred dollars. 

In arranging the programme, our hostess 
should remember to put the best last, the 
less accomphshed performers and simpler 
compositions coming first. The piano should 
be tuned and put in perfect order on the day 
of the musical or the day before. It may 
be necessary to hire an instrument if a dis- 
tinguished pianist is to play. It should be 
placed at one end of the room, the seats be- 
ing arranged so as to face it. Camp chairs 
or small light cane=seated chairs should be 

[182] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

hired for the occasion. These should be 
placed in rows, with an aisle down the mid- 
dle. One or two sofas or a few large com- 
fortable seats should be left for the elderly 
ladies, to whom it might be distinctly un- 
pleasant and fatiguing to sit on a small nar- 
row creaking chair during an entire evening. 
If many guests are expected, the giver of 
the entertainment may like to ask one or 
two young friends to assist them in finding 
seats, especially after the rooms begin to 
fill up. Or if the musical is in the evening, 
the host may perform this duty. If the 
players are persons of strict views as to the 
interruption of musical performances, the 
hosts will try to guard against such a catas- 
trophe. It might be well to station some one 
in the hall, who should intimate courteously 
to late comers the propriety of taking a seat 
there or in some adjoining room until the 
conclusion of the number. 

Printed programmes may be provided or 
each number may be announced separately. 
In either case, it is better to omit the names 
of the performers, if they are amateurs. 
The musical programme should not last too 

[183] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

long, not more than an hour and a half or 
two hours, including the time taken for the 
intermission. Allowance should be made for 
the delay caused by encores. 

At the conclusion of the last piece, the 
camp chairs should be cleared away and re- 
freshments served. It is usually best to have 
these in the dining-room, thus giving an op- 
portunity to freshen the air of the music- 
room, while the guests will be glad to move 
about after their long session on camp chairs. 
Supper is sometimes served in the drawing- 
room at small tables, or ice-cream and coffee 
or some simple form of refreshment may be 
handed around. All will depend on the con- 
venience and taste of the hostess. 

PRIVATE THEATRICALS 

Private theatricals afford so much fun to 
the actors and so much pleasure to the audi- 
ence that they are well worth all the trouble 
they cost. To see one's friends changed al- 
most beyond recognition by the costumer's 
art, to hear them recite long passages with 
glibness and ease, to find that Mary or John 

[184] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

can really act^ is always delightful and often 
surprising. These men and women who are 
so conventional and quiet in their every-day 
demeanor, who would have suspected the 
depth of feeling or the amount of fun which 
they display, when actually before the foot- 
lights and protected by a thorough disguise ? 
Professional actors can of course simulate 
emotion, that is their business, but who 
would have thought that Samuel Jones, who 
goes so tamely to the Bank every day, had 
a touch of the sublime in his quiet disposi- 
tion ? The great charm of private theatricals 
is the hidden possibilities in our friends, in 
members of our own circle, which they reveal 
to our admiring eyes. The acting may not 
be very good but our imagination mends 
every defect, and it all comes home to us as 
an ordinary stage performance does not. 
Hence our hostess may count upon the sym- 
pathy and interest of the audience, whether 
the piece given be funny, sentimental or ro- 
mantic. High tragedy should hardly be at- 
tempted by amateurs, unless they have un- 
usual histrionic ability and the skill that 
comes from long training and experience. 

[185] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

This is the pleasant side of private theatri- 
cals. Among its less agreeable features are 
the difficulty of distributing the roles in a 
way to suit every one and the procrastination 
of the actors about learning their parts and 
cues. At first blush it would seem to be 
natural and proper to ask each person to 
assume the character suited to his appearance 
and capacity. If you should be so rash as to 
ask a middle-aged lady to take an old part, 
or a half -grown lad to assume the role of an 
awkward hobbledehoy, you would soon find 
out your mistake. The older woman will 
often be willing to play the ingenue, while 
some young girl may think it great fun to 
powder her hair, put on spectacles and act 
the old dame. Such conduct is not prompted 
by vanity pure and simple. No one wishes 
to appear on the stage just as he does in 
every-day life ; it is easier to act under a dis- 
guise of some sort. As for the general desire 
to assume the chief parts and to avoid 
the smaller ones, this must be met by an 
amiable firmness. It is wise to ask somebody 
of experience in private theatricals to take 

[186] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the part of stage manager and to distribute 
the roles in accordance with the ability and 
fitness of the performers. The chief char- 
acters should of course be taken by persons 
of dramatic experience. Our stage manager 
must use tact. He can remind his little 
troupe that the French, who are renowned 
for the excellence of their histrionic per- 
formances, consider it important to have all 
the roles filled by artists and well acted. 

Inducing all the actors to attend rehears- 
als regularly will be the next difficulty. 
This is especially necessary because experi- 
ence shows that many amateurs will not take 
the trouble to memorize their parts before- 
hand, trusting to the drill of the rehearsals 
to fix the words firmly in their minds. Then 
there is the brilliant but lazy man who re- 
fuses to learn his lines thoroughly, because 
he knows he can improvise if he forgets a 
sentence. A chief actor sometimes does this 
on the amateur stage, regardless of the nerv- 
ous agony which he inflicts on his fellow 
players, who give him his cues but wait in 
vain for their own. A sufficient number of 

[187] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

rehearsals and a competent prompter will 
counteract these eccentricities of genius in a 
great degree. 

It is usual for each actor to provide his 
own costume, the host attending to the sce- 
nery and other stage furnishings. In most 
private houses it is hardly possible to have 
these on an elaborate scale. A good deal 
can be done with screens for scenery and 
some of these may be placed in the hall ad- 
joining the stage, to cover the entrances and 
exits of the performers. The portieres be- 
tween two rooms are often used as a curtain, 
care being taken beforehand to see that they 
will pull aside quickly and easily. If there 
are footlights, the actors will need to " make 
up " with powder, rouge and a touch of 
black. Some member of the troupe or a 
friend can usually perform this office suffi- 
ciently well to satisfy the requirements of 
parlor dramatics. For more ambitious per- 
formances, a professional coach is often hired 
to drill the amateurs. 

The office of stage manager is a very im- 
portant one and needs a person of good 
memory, cool head and executive abihty, to 

[1188] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

fill it properly. It is surprising how many 
questions arise at the last moment. Some 
one has forgotten to provide some absolutely 
necessary thing and a new arrangement 
must be made at once; a costume has failed 
to arrive by the promised train, and so on. 
Since the hosts will be busy receiving their 
guests, it is better that neither of them 
should attempt to take any active part in 
the performance, either as player or as man- 
ager. They will doubtless be called upon to 
fill in gaps and to supply substitutes for 
missing articles of costume or stage furni- 
ture. If they do wish to act, a sister or a 
friend must play the part of hostess, in order 
that the guests may not lack the first re- 
quirement of true hospitality, a cordial wel- 
come. 

A great drawback to the pleasure of wit- 
nessing parlor theatricals is the absence of 
a raised stage or platform. The audience, 
being on a level with the actors, cannot see 
the latter very well. For a monologue or 
for tableaux, a small platform can sometimes 
be borrowed from a neighboring school, 
church or hall. Tableaux are always popu- 

[189] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

lar, except for the long delays which seem 
inevitable. These may be bridged over with 
music or recitations. In order to be really 
successful they should be arranged by an 
artist and there should be at least one re- 
hearsal. A large dull-gilt frame, behind 
which a screen of black net is stretched, 
makes the best setting for the living pic- 
tures. It is wonderful what fine stage ef- 
fects can be produced by a few bits of tinsel, 
old curtains or table-cloths of soft colors, 
odds and ends of bright ribbon or a hundred 
other commonplace objects of wearing ap- 
parel, if they are manipulated by the ingen- 
ious man or woman who possesses artistic 
taste and a keen eye for scenic effects. 

It is well to have a certain unity in the 
programme. Thus some historic period may 
be chosen for illustration, such as the Amer- 
ican Revolution, Venice or Florence at the 
time of the Renaissance, England in the 
days of Charles the First; or some popular 
poem or novel containing picturesque or 
dramatic situations may be selected. A few 
verses or passages may be read aloud in ex- 
planation of each scene. A " Gallery of 

[190] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Old Masters " is a favorite subject and gives 
excellent results when entrusted to compe- 
tent hands. Charades may furnish a very- 
amusing evening and can be easily arranged 
in such a way as to combine tableaux, reci- 
tations and acting in the programme. They 
may be wholly impromptu, or written be- 
forehand by some one who is clever at such 
things. Where they are to be acted by 
bright people, it is not necessary to have 
everything fully memorized, a part of the 
fun being the extemporization. It is well 
to have the single scenes rehearsed once or 
twice beforehand, especially if there is much 
talking to be done. It is needless to say that 
monologues are now much in favor. The 
ever-popular Mrs. Jarley's Wax-works are 
really nothing but a monologue, with panto- 
mimic illustration; "Portraits from an old 
album " are based on the same idea, that 
of a clever and garrulous woman exhibiting 
her wares to the public. 

FANCY DANCES 

Fancy dances are now so much admired 
that they often furnish an evening's enter- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

tainment, in conjunction with tableaux, a 
little farce or some other dramatic piece. 
Where a historic period is represented, the 
costumes of the dancers may well correspond 
with it. An evening of " Old Colony 
Times " seems to require the minuet to give 
it completeness, for we do not tire of this 
old dance, at once so graceful and so stately. 
The slowness of the movements cannot be 
compassed by everyone, some people finding 
it impossible to execute the figures with the 
necessary ease and grace. There is now such 
a variety of fancy dances that it is not diffi- 
cult to find one suited to the style of the per- 
former, quick or slow, with very little motion 
or with a great deal. They furnish good 
physical exercise and preserve the figure ad- 
mirably it is said. Hence some young ladies 
begin the day with practising them in their 
rooms, just as people swung dumb-bells 
thirty or more years ago. Fifteen or twenty 
minutes devoted to the various steps will 
throw the performer into a perspiration. 
She then takes her " Tub " or shower bath 
like an athlete. 

Some of the prettiest dances revive the 

[192] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

stately movements and costumes of the 
eighteenth century. 

THE LITTLE BLUE ONION DANCE 

In this the lady is brought upon the stage 
in a sedan chair. The bearers set it down 
and the attendant cavalier opens the door 
for the " Fair," with a low bow. He wears 
a curled white periwig tied in a queue with 
a black ribbon, blue satin knee breeches, a 
diamond pin in his stock and buckles to 
match on his shoes. His white broad- 
skirted coat has around the edge, the conven- 
tional blue onion pattern as seen on china — 
hence the name of the dance. The lady's 
dress corresponds with that of her partner. 
Over a blue satin petticoat stiffened by 
large hoops worn beneath, comes a white 
dress looped back, with full pannier effect. 
The blue onion border surrounds the over- 
skirt, a white wig and black patches com- 
pleting this charming costume. The daint- 
ily dressed couple go through a slow and 
graceful *' Pas de Deux " after which the 
bearers return and the lady is carried off in 
her sedan chair. 

[193] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 
THE MOON DANCE 

The Moon Dance needs a calcium light 
to give the proper effect. This is placed in 
the gallery in such a way as to throw a lu- 
minous disc upon the stage. A single dancer 
clad in soft cHnging draperies goes through 
rhythmic steps and evolutions, keeping 
within the sphere of light and producing 
beautiful shadow effects. 

PIERROT AND PIERRETTE DANCES 

are popular, the costumes being pretty and 
simple. These are usually of some thick 
white material, with black rosettes or but- 
tons, although many variations are made. 
The trimmings may be of some bright color 
instead of black, or the dress itself is some- 
times pink or blue with black buttons. The 
traditional flat black cocked hat is decidedly 
picturesque. 

A very pretty dance of this sort was given 
on the greensward of a coimtry place at 
Newport not long ago. Twelve of the sea- 
son's debutantes took part, six wearing 
black and white costumes in diamond (har- 

[ 194 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

lequin) pattern, with ruffles of black lace. 
The other six wore dresses of different col- 
ors, pink, blue and yellow, with shoes and 
stockings to match and powdered hair. The 
evolutions of the young and pretty dancers 
made a charming color pattern on the soft 
green turf, the lofty trees of the garden 
forming a lovely green background. 



[195] 



CHAPTER XIV 



CAED PARTIES 




over a book? 



O, I never play cards. I re- 
gard it as a waste of time. 
What do I do in the eve- 
ning? Read of course, when 
I am at home. No, my eyes 
never get tired. Go to sleep 
Well yes, sometimes, if it is 
very dull — but a good nap is a good thing." 
The person who made these remarks 
filled me with pity. How much innocent 
pleasure he had lost out of his own life! 
What sad disappointments had he caused to 
the friends rallying around the baize-covered 
table and hoping vainly for their accustomed 
game of cards, on a long winter evening! 
How dreary must have been his convales- 
cence after an illness, with no solitaire to fill 
up the weary hours when reading was for- 
bidden! Of course he believed fully in the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

old saying, " A youth of folly, an old age 
of cards." If he had known, as I have, men 
and women of unimpeachable character and 
great activity of mind and body to whom, 
as the evening of life drew on, cards were a 
real solace, he would have modified his views. 

Perhaps he had been taught to associate 
card-playing with gambling, although there 
is no necessary connection between the two. 
Gambling is said to be the worst of all vices, 
because it makes people who are addicted to 
it so cruel, and because it is the hardest to 
cure. Within a few years the custom of 
playing cards for money has been revived 
among a certain set of people in this coun- 
try, to the great regret of the more sober 
and thoughtful members of the community. 
Its hideous results have been well shown up 
in the " House of Mirth " and other current 
fiction. The fashion will not be a long-lived 
one, for its evil effects are so great and so 
apparent that they will not be tolerated long, 
one must think. 

In the meantime every high-minded 
American woman should resolutely set her 
face against it and should not permit play- 

[ 19^ ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COIINTRY 

ing for money to be carried on beneath her 
roof. If she does allow it, she cannot escape 
responsibility for the evil consequences that 
so often follow, especially when those who 
take part in the gaming are young and im- 
pressionable people. 

My readers may not all agree with me; 
some persons think it no harm to play for 
small sums, two cents a point for instance, 
although they object to high stakes. Host- 
esses who take this view are careful to have 
a separate table in readiness for the guests 
who do not play for money. It is always 
" good form " to do this, for manifestly a 
hostess must not urge her friends to take 
part in something of which they disapprove, 
yet she will not allow them to lose the pleas- 
ures of the evening if she can help it. 

Many ladies provide prizes at their card 
parties and to this there would seem to be 
no reasonable objection, where the rewards 
of skill are not of great intrinsic value. If 
the prizes are very handsome and expensive, 
they often arouse an unhealthy emulation 
and excitement, perhaps jealousy and ill- 
vrill in addition. It is now thought better 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

form to furnish articles of small cost, but at- 
tractive by their novelty or oddity. A host- 
ess tries to find pretty and unique trifles for 
her card table. The fashion of not showing 
the prizes until the conclusion of the playing, 
is sensible and tends to prevent an undue 
feeling of rivalry between the players. 

It is surely the duty of the lady of the 
house to arrange her party in such a way as 
to give pleasure to all, a thing which is im- 
possible where some go away unduly elated 
and others disappointed and envious. The 
booby or consolation prizes, formerly the re- 
ward of the poorest players, are now often 
distributed by lot, so that all have a chance 
to win them. 

Card tables, usually large enough to ac- 
commodate four persons, can be hired from 
caterers' establishments or furniture stores 
or borrowed from a friend who has been in- 
vited for the occasion. Ordinary small tables 
of suitable height and size may be pressed 
into service, provided a cloth is thrown over 
them, to prevent the cards from slipping. 
Since the players remain in their places for 
a considerable length of time (unless the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

game is progressive) it is important to give 
them comfortable seats and to have these of 
the proper height. Dining-room or hght 
bed-room chairs are often used, or httle gilt 
ones may be hired. Ordinary drawing- 
room chairs are apt to be too low and too 
cmnbrous. There must be lights enough to 
enable every one to see the cards readily, but 
not to dazzle the players nor to overheat the 
room. For elderly people it may be neces- 
sary to place candles or lamps on a stand 
near by, but never on the card table itself. 
In the open window season of the year, the 
hostess will try to avoid exposing the players 
to drafts of air on their backs or shoulders. 
The cards must always be fresh and for a 
large party, new packs must be provided. 
It is a rule in men's clubs where the play is 
often for money, that the cards shall not be 
used a second time. Rather narrow plain 
cards are preferred, as those with gilt edges 
are liable to become tarnished and to stain 
the hands. For bridge, there should be a 
sufficient number of well-sharpened pencils 
that will make a good black mark. The 
three-cornered ones will not roll off the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

table. There should be bridge scores or 
scoring tablets and some of these have a 
pocket at the side for the pencil. For euchre, 
counters are needed. The players often 
wear wire bracelets or pins on which these 
are slipped and the score thus displayed. 
For those who play often, it is well to keep 
prizes on hand and it is found to be con- 
venient to have a special drawer in which 
all the necessary implements are kept to- 
gether, ready for use. For progressive 
euchre, punches and score cards are needed. 
The hostess does the punching herself or 
asks certain ladies to perform this office. 

Friends sometimes combine and give a 
progressive euchre or other form of card 
party at a casino or club house. The invita- 
tions are sent out in their joint names and 
they divide the cost of the prizes and the 
other expenses of the entertainment. 

A hostess often invites gentlemen as well 
as ladies to play cards in the evening, but 
men cannot usually spare the time to attend 
affairs that take place in the afternoon. 
Bridge parties are now extremely popular. 
The invitations are given by telephone or 

[201] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

word of mouth or in an informal note. The 
hostess asks her friends to " Come to lunch 
and bridge " or she will perhaps write " I 
hope you can dine with us and we will play 
bridge afterwards if you like." In summer 
the luncheon card party is very popular. 
Or the ladies may be asked for bridge only, 
either in the afternoon or in the evening. 
In this case it will be necessary to serve a 
little supper, unless the occasion is a very 
small one. Little card parties of one or 
two tables are very cosy and informal. They 
are preferred by some experienced players 
who care more for the game itself than for 
the social side of such affairs. 

For twelve or more persons, salad, ices, 
sandwiches, with claret cup, lemonade, 
ApoUinaris or White Rock water, furnish 
ample entertainment. A mould of pate de 
foie gras in aspic jelly is a good dish for a 
card supper and fruit always makes a pleas- 
ant addition. The hostess may vary the bill 
of fare to suit her convenience. After a 
bridge lunch or dinner, it is only necessary 
to provide ApoUinaris or lemonade with or 
without sandwiches. These are handed 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

around to the guests at the card table. 
Some ladies add ices in the evening. In the 
afternoon, tea is occasionally served instead 
of lemonade, but it is a little more trouble 
and causes more delay than the usual cold 
drinks. I am now giving the point of view 
of the devotee of the card table, who dislikes 
interruptions of the play. For people who 
are not bridge enthusiasts, the appearance 
of the tea equipage makes a pleasant variety 
in the proceedings of the afternoon. 

A hostess endeavors to secure the co-op- 
eration of one or two friends whom she can 
call upon in an emergency, to fill the places 
of those who are prevented at the last mo- 
ment from keeping their engagements. At 
a regular card-party she does not play, ex- 
cept to take a vacant place. 

The hostess at a house-party, who has 
among her guests one or two persons who 
are extremely fond of card-playing, will 
need to exercise a little care to prevent the 
rest of the company from being victimized. 
If she perceives that the other players are 
taking part in the game merely to be obli- 
ging, she will endeavor to rescue them after 

[203] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

a proper length of time. People who have 
the card fever badly are sometimes insatiable 
in their demands on the time of others. The 
pleasure of the company is in danger of 
being marred by those who look upon cards, 
not as an amusement, but as a serious pur- 
suit. 

The man who scolds his partner or be- 
comes ill-tempered himself over bad luck or 
the mistakes of some of the players, has only 
himself to blame if the lady of the house pro- 
poses some other amusement. This she will 
surely try to do, should she see that he is 
making other people uncomfortable by his 
mistaken zeal. Where all the players hold 
the same views as to the solemn importance 
of their beloved pastime, and argue long, 
earnestly but amiably over doubtful points, 
mine hostess will beware of interfering, lest 
she give general offence. Sometimes when 
she is uncertain what course to pursue, she 
can tentatively suggest an adjournment, 
without pressing the point. She will thus 
give an opportunity for escape to those who 
have become weary of the game. If any 
player offers with a fervent politeness that 

[204] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

is in itself suspicious, to give up his hand 
to some one else, the hostess will draw her 
own conclusions and will try to rescue him, 
taking the place herself, if necessary. Card 
playing is now so extremely popular, that 
the lady of the house does not often need 
to protect her guests, it should be said. 



[205] 




CHAPTER XV 

STUDIO TEAS AND BACHELOR ENTERTAIN- 
MENTS 

|HERE is a mystery about a 
studio which gives it a pecul- 
iar fascination for the unini- 
tiated. We know the artist 
spends his days and some- 
times his nights there, carry- 
ing on all sorts of occult processes at which 
we may not even have a peep. If we are so 
rash as to go there when not especially in- 
vited, the door is grudgingly unlocked and 
opened just a crack, through which we have 
a vision of a gentleman in a blouse, or if 
it is a feminine studio, of a lady in a sur- 
prisingly painty linen apron. An odor of 
wet paint or moist clay fills the air, and we 
get a glimpse of a distant easel, surmoimted 
by a canvas (whose back is invariably turned 
toward the door) or of half -finished forms 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AM) COUNTRY 

of dark gray stuff which we suppose will be 
noble statues when they are done. We are 
always told that the artist is " exceedingly 
busy this morning," in a tone which plainly 
signifies that we had better take our depar- 
ture, since we can by no means be allowed 
to enter the charmed precincts. So we sadly 
depart from the shrine of Art, with a deep 
sense of our own inferiority and a burning 
desire to witness the rites so carefully hid- 
den from our unworthy eyes. Perhaps our 
young friend is going to be a second Michael 
Angelo or a female Rembrandt — if we 
could only see what she does when she is 
shut up alone there with her inspirations and 
her messy paints! 

It is this heightening of our curiosity and 
the element of the unknown, the possibility 
of encountering the Sublime at any moment, 
that gives the studio of the artist such a 
charm for us. We welcome any invitation 
to cross the well-guarded threshold of the 
enchanted castle. The artist hostess thus has 
the great advantage of knowing that her 
hospitality will be appreciated. If her work 
is serious, if she is not merely playing with 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Art, she cannot receive her friends often, 
even in the simplest way. She may perhaps 
be able to arrange for a weekly reception 
day, when she is not too busy, or for one 
or two afternoons a month, such as the first 
and third Thursdays. Or she may only find 
leisure for a couple of receptions at the be- 
ginning and end of the season. 

Despite the distrust of the scrubwoman 
inherent in the artistic bosom, we should 
certainly advise the calling in of this func- 
tionary from time to time. Scrubbing and 
cleaning are a trade, if not a profession, and 
the young artist will exhaust her strength, 
lose valuable time and probably do a very 
poor job, if she undertakes the task that an 
expert chore-lady could accomplish with ease 
and speed. The scrubwoman, who is of 
course a vandal, cannot be let loose among 
the works of Art, but she can be kept under 
judicious surveillance. 

The arrangement of the studio for the re- 
ception of Philistine guests demands some 
thought. It is neither possible nor desirable 
to do away wholly with the workshop char- 
acter of the apartment, yet this must be sub- 

[ 208 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dued and the decorative side brought into 
bold rehef . If a palette, with its bright dabs 
of paint, is left out to give a professional 
look, it must be carefully placed where no 
unfortunate guest can step or sit down on 
it; for if she receives a touch of local color 
on her best gown, she will declare that all 
artists are wretched housekeepers and will 
vow never to enter a studio again. 

The hostess is of course wise enough not 
to reveal all the mysteries of her craft. The 
tools of her trade are tucked into inac- 
cessible nooks and crannies and the half- 
finished work is disposed of somehow, pos- 
sibly up the chimney. All her treasured 
bric-a-brac is now brought out, for this is 
its day of glory. Old tapestries, brass lamps 
and jugs, bits of armor, plaster casts and 
all the delightful junk which she has ac- 
cumulated in her climb up the slopes of Par- 
nassus, may be spread about or hung up as 
votive tablets on the shrine of Art. It is 
safe to predict that everything will be ad- 
mired or at least voted quaint and interest- 
ing by the visitors. We said all the bric-a- 
brac, but there must not be an excess of 

[209] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ornament. This would have the effect of 
making the room look crowded and out of 
keeping with its true purpose, namely that 
of an artistic workshop. The scrubwoman 
might with advantage be allowed to shine 
up the brasses and pewter a bit, not to speak 
of the silver for the tea-table. A few flowers 
or sprays of laurel or other greenery add 
much to the festive appearance of the studio, 
but they are by no means indispensable. 

The appointments of the tea-table may 
have a touch of oddity, but they should not 
be too bizarre. A few fanciful people may 
like to drink their tea out of ancient glass 
goblets, or to use paper napkins by way of 
a lark. Most of us prefer the conventions 
of civilized life when it is a question of eating 
and drinking. It is much pleasanter to take 
our tea out of cups and saucers that look 
not only as if they could be, but as if they 
had actually been washed, and nothing stirs 
so well as a well-polished silver spoon ! Good 
plate must of course do, if our young artist 
does not possess the real article. For the 
rest, a pretty china or earthenware teapot 
with ewer and sugar-basin of the same ma- 

[210] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

terial, looks very well, and the plates for the 
cake and bread and butter or sandwiches 
may be of quaint design. A Russian sam- 
ovar presents a very imposing appearance, 
or an ordinary brass or copper kettle looks 
very well. A part of the fun of the oc- 
casion will be making the tea on the table. 
The young hostess and her friends form a 
merry group as they flit about, bringing hot 
water and matches or pouring out the alco- 
hol in hospitable Ubation. As the flame 
bursts forth, their fair faces leaning over it 
make a charming picture. We are reminded 
of the Vestal Virgins carefully tending the 
sacred fire on the hearth of their temple in 
the days of ancient Rome. It is good to 
think that their modern sisters are not bound 
by cruel oaths never to desert the shrine, 
should admirers persuade them to try the 
chances of matrimony. 

An informal studio tea is pleasanter 
without the presence of hired assistants, if 
the hostess can secure the help of one or two 
young friends. Some one must open the 
door, receive the visitors and attend to the 
tea-table. If there is neither kitchen nor 

[211] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

butler's pantry near at hand, a good substi- 
tute may be made by dividing off one corner 
of the apartment with screens. To this 
kitchenette the soiled tea things may be car- 
ried and if there is time to wash them up 
behind this friendly shelter, as they are 
brought out, it will save a grand clearing-up 
afterward. 

A dinner in a studio is often a merry af- 
fair, but it can hardly be managed in a single 
room unless everything is sent in from a 
neighboring hostelry. A studio apartment 
offers greater possibilities; yet even here it 
will usually be necessary to procure most of 
the dinner ready cooked. The dishes can 
be warmed over a gas or kerosene stove be- 
fore being placed on the table, and several 
courses can be served. The writer was pres- 
ent not long ago at a charming affair of 
this sort. Dinner for eight persons was 
served in a large studio, cheerfully yet not 
brilliantly lighted by candles and by the glow 
of an open wood fire. At the end of the 
room farthest from the single great window, 
with its possibilities of draughts, our table 
was set cosily enough. But if we chanced to 

[212] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

look up, the effect of the raftered ceiHng, 
arching high above our heads in the dim mel- 
low half-light, was quaint and mysterious. 
The rays of the " little candles " did their 
best, but they could not reach so high. At 
each place was set some appropriate favor 
— a miniature Irish flag for a well-known 
writer, a tiny suit-case for the inevitable 
suburbanite, a lily for a tall slender beauty, 
and so on. Our dinner consisted of soup, 
cold turkey and hot meat pie, a salad course, 
ice cream, fruit and coffee. A clever Japan- 
ese waited upon us, while outside an assist- 
ant warmed up the dishes sent in from the 
pastry cook's and washed the plates, every- 
thing being done very quietly in a tiny kitch- 
enette barely large enough for a self-respect- 
ing cat to turn around in. 

Our company included some good talkers 
but no usurpers of conversation. At the 
conclusion of the meal cigars were handed 
to the gentlemen, for if you dine in a mascu- 
line studio you must not object to tobacco 
smoke. Our host was so fortunate as to pos- 
sess a charming wife who did all the honors 
in an easy, graceful and cordial way, wel- 

[213] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

coming us with the genuine warmth of hos- 
pitahty that is so pleasant to encounter. 

An artist who has the misfortune to be 
a bachelor, must provide a chaperon if he 
wishes to entertain ladies. She must be one 
in fact as well as in name, a married lady 
or a single woman of mature years, who will 
behave A^dth dignity and discretion and will 
remain until the party breaks up. In order 
to insure her presence, the lady who is to 
act as chaperon must be invited before any 
of the other guests and must be asked to as- 
sume this responsibility, so that there may 
be no misunderstanding. For if she sup- 
poses that she is asked merely as a guest, she 
may not feel obliged to come to an after- 
noon tea, for instance, even if she has ac- 
cepted the invitation. 

A bachelor who lives in a pleasant suite 
of rooms often Hkes to entertain his friends 
there, either simply or elaborately as his 
means and taste dictate. As in the case of 
the artist, his first requisite is a suitable 
chaperon, who is virtually the hostess of 
the occasion. Her position is not just what it 
would be in her own house, where she would 

[214] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

take the lead. The bachelor, as the true 
host, does the honors of his apartment, but 
it is of the greatest importance to the success 
of his entertainment that he should have the 
assistance of an agreeable and tactful 
woman, a person with some experience of 
society and of unexceptionable standing in 
the community. It would not be well to ask 
a divorcee to fill this office, since some of 
the ladies might object to meeting her. 
The chaperon of the bachelor's entertain- 
ment must be, like Caesar's wife, above sus- 
picion. Her husband must of course be in- 
cluded in the invitation, although if it is an 
afternoon affair he may not be able to come. 
In issuing his invitations, a bachelor usu- 
ally " Requests the honor " of a lady's pres- 
ence. It is not in accordance with the rules 
of etiquette that he should issue " At home " 
cards. For an afternoon tea, his arrange- 
ments would be much like those made by 
a feminine hostess with regard to the rooms, 
equipment of the table, etc. A thorough 
airing of the apartment beforehand, to re- 
move all lingering traces of tobacco smoke, 
is very important. Everything should be 

[215 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

swept, garnished and -put in apple-pie order 
by competent feminine hands. We have 
said elsewhere that a hostess should be ready 
in good season to welcome her guests; the 
necessity for promptness is even more im- 
perative in the case of a masculine host, 
since it might be very awkward for ladies to 
arrive and find no one ready to receive them. 
If they should come in while the last touches 
were being made to the drawing-room, or 
if they should espy some one hastily disap- 
pearing with an armful of books or papers, 
they would form an unfavorable opuiion of 
their host's housekeeping. He himself must 
be in readiness to receive all liis guests with 
a cordial greeting, introducing them to the 
chaperon. Oiu: host must be cautioned 
against excess of vigor in shaking hands 
with his fair guests. Too strong a pressi.u"e 
of the hand is painful, especially to the 
wearer of rings. 

For a small tea, a single attendant will 
suffice, provided our bachelor has bespoken 
the ser^-ices of some men friends to assist in 
waiting on the ladies. A tidily dressed maid, 
with broad linen cuffs and collar, a black 

[216] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

stuff dress and white cap and apron, can 
open the door and give the ladies any as- 
sistance they may require when they arrive, 
such as the removal of overshoes or coats. 
The tea-table being all in readiness before 
the appearance of the guests, it will only be 
necessary for her to light the alcohol lamp 
and bring hot water at the last moment, as- 
sist in passing the tea, cake and sandwiches, 
carry away the cups that have been used and 
bring a fresh supply of anything that may 
be needed. The chaperon will preside at 
the table and make the tea. 

For a larger occasion, the services of two 
or three young ladies or attractive matrons 
should be engaged beforehand, in addition 
to those of the chaperon. The tea-table 
should be set in the dining-room, an assistant 
hostess sitting at each end and pouring tea or 
coffee, chocolate or bouillon. There should 
also be a bowl of punch or lemonade on a 
small table. Where the entertainment is on 
this scale, two maid servants will probably 
be needed, unless our bachelor has a valet 
capable of giving assistance. 

Our host will remember to stand near the 

[217] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

door to receive his guests, the chaperon be- 
ing at his right. He must avoid the possible 
temptation of devoting himself too assidu- 
ously to some especially charming girl, to the 
neglect of the others. To have your adored 
Araminta actually beneath your roof, is cer- 
tainly so delightful an experience as almost 
to dazzle the sober senses of an infatuated 
youth. He may be pardoned if he linger 
while handing her a teacup, but if he pro- 
long the tete-a-tete too greatly he will invoke 
hostile criticism from the other ladies pres- 
ent. 

As host lie will wish to see personally that 
all his guests are amused and their wants 
provided for. He will make such introduc- 
tions as seem to him to be desirable, his host- 
ess and men friends assisting him. Accord- 
ing to well-established custom, a lady may 
introduce any guest to any other beneath her 
own roof, but a masculine host can hardly 
claim the same privilege so far as ladies are 
concerned. He must certainly make intro- 
ductions wherever this is necessary to avoid 
awkwardness. He will not however, form- 
ally present a gentleman to a lady without 

[218] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

asking permission and he will remember 
the old rule which forbids the formal intro- 
duction of two ladies who live in the same 
town, without first obtaining leave from 
both of them. 

Some young men are so fortunate as to 
have a mother or a sister living within easy 
reach. Such a relative is usually called in to 
play the part of hostess. If our bachelor 
wishes to give a dinner or supper party, she 
will help her son or brother to receive the 
guests and will sit at the head of the table. 
Her presence will go far toward giving an 
agreeable atmosphere of home to the abode 
of the man living in chambers, and will add 
to the pleasure of the company, if she does 
not forget that her place is a subordinate 
one. As the true host, the bachelor should 
take the lead in conversation, his mother or 
other feminine relative assisting him but 
never behaving as if the party were hers. 
This is sometimes a difficult role for a loqua- 
cious dowager to fill, but she must accustom 
herself to it unless she wishes to spoil her 
son's entertainments. She must resist, for 
instance, her natural desire to tell anecdotes 

[219] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of " Tommy's " childhood, whether these 
show him as a hero or in an amusing Hght. 
Stories of his remarkable prowess or clever- 
ness at an early age, will be apt to bore the 
guests and to mortify " Tommy," who may 
dislike extremely to be thus held up for the 
admiration or ridicule of his friends. He is 
now " Mr. Thomas So-and-so," who has 
laid childish things aside. 

If the assistant hostess is a young unmar- 
ried sister, a chaperon will be necessary. 
The host would present all guests to both 
these ladies and would take the latter in to 
dinner, seating her at his right hand. Or 
he could place her at his left, if the occasion 
were given in honor of another lady, or if 
some elderly or distinguished woman were 
present. He would offer his arm to either 
of these, taking care however, to have the 
lady acting as chaperon come next in the 
procession to the dining-room. If the sister 
were present, she as hostess would give the 
signal to the other ladies to leave the table. 
In her absence the chaperon would perform 
this duty. The host or the man sitting near- 
est to the door would hold it open for the 

[220] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

feminine guests to pass out, all the gentle- 
men standing meanwhile. They should soon 
rejoin the ladies, for it would not be in good 
taste on the host's part to leave these long 
alone. He must remember that they have 
done him a favor by coming to the dinner. 
Some hosts return with the ladies to the 
drawing-room and remain there. In this 
case smoking is apt to follow, permission 
being asked beforehand. 

The chaperon, like the mother, will avoid 
taking the chief part in the conversation, un- 
less this obviously becomes necessary. A 
very shy host or one little accustomed to 
feminine society, may need to be helped out. 
A tactful woman will see that the conver- 
sation does not languish; she will start a 
new subject when occasion requires, yet al- 
ways with the air of reminding her host of 
something he might wish to say or of filling 
a gap, rather than of dictating the direction 
to be taken by the flow of talk. 

In her double capacity of hostess and 
guest, our chaperon lays her bachelor host 
under a real obligation to her. A courteous 
man will bear this in mind and will show his 

[221] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

gratitude in some pleasant way. He may 
like to send her theatre tickets, flowers or 
candy, and will call in person soon after the 
event, if he possibly can. All the ladies who 
come without masculine escort to a bachelor 
entertainment, are in the special charge of 
the host. He or one of his friends will see 
them to their carriage or have a servant call 
it for them. If two or three ladies are going 
home together, he will escort them to the 
front door and will send some one home 
with them, if it appear unsafe for them to go 
alone. He will be especially careful to see 
that the assistant hostesses are provided with 
a suitable conveyance or escort for their re- 
turn home. 



[222] 




CHAPTER XVI 

CLASS -DAY AND COMMENCEMENT FESTIVI- 
TIES 

I VERY collegian wishes to 
ask some friends to the grad- 
uation festivities, no matter 
on how simple a scale these 
may be. Certainly the young 
woman does and the young 
man knows that it will be expected of him, 
even though he may not be very enthusiastic 
on the subject himself. Class-Day is not an 
altogether joyous time for the Seniors. It 
marks the close of their college career, those 
happy care-free years which look so bright 
in retrospect! In a short time the student 
must bid farewell to all his mates and to the 
classic shades of his beloved Alma Mater. 
He must face the great outside world, so 
cold and so indifferent to the new-comer. 
Most young people feel some natural trepi- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dation about making the first plunge; like 
young robins they would like to linger in 
the nest till their wings have grown a little 
stronger, and their self-confidence is by no 
means so highly developed as the comic 
papers represent it. Hence the season of 
graduation brings many sober and some sad 
thoughts, and Seniors have occasionally 
been known to go off for a sail or a row 
on the day when they are supposed to ex- 
ercise their greatest hospitality. 

Such unsocial conduct is a great mistake 
and may well be regretted in later years. 
It is running counter to the sound human 
instinct which bids us rejoice together at the 
completion of any serious undertaking, just 
as our ancestors did thousands of years ago. 
Class-Day may be called the Harvest Home 
of the University and unless the four years 
have been wholly unfruitful, there may well 
be a happy celebration at their close. This 
is certainly the view of parents and friends, 
who for the rest enjoy having a peep at 
the scenes which are often new to them, 
though so familiar to the student son. The 
young collegian who acts as host, should re- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

member that this aspect of novelty will be 
of great assistance to him in entertaining 
his guests. They will enjoy many sights 
and sounds which are to him a twice-told 
tale. He will need to make all his plans 
in good season and to procure tickets to all 
that is going on. To him it may seem in- 
comprehensible that Father and Mother 
should wish to see the diplomas handed out, 
or be willing to sit a whole morning to hear 
long speeches in the College Chapel. But 
Papa and Mamma, who have paid for the 
little drama of their son's University life, 
regard all this as part of the show and they 
naturally like to get their money's worth. 

How many people our Senior will invite 
will depend on the size of his circle of friends 
and acquaintance and on the length of his 
own or of the parental purse. TsTow that 
graduation festivities occupy several days, 
it is usual to have two or more sets of guests, 
namely those who are asked for the entire 
period and those who are invited for Class- 
Day itself. Here again may be another 
division between those who are to make a 
party for the whole day and its various 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

sights, and the persons whose presence is 
requested for the spread only. Those who 
are invited for the whole period are usually 
the immediate family and a few favored 
friends. 

A pleasant custom prevails at the Mas- 
sachusetts Institute of Technology, Cornell 
and some other country colleges, whereby 
a " Fraternity House " is given up to the 
use of ladies from out of town. One or two 
chaperons are invited to matronize the 
party. These should be matrons who are 
no longer young, or spinsters who have no 
pretensions to youth. They arrive either 
with or before their young charges. Each 
student can invite a young lady to the fes- 
tivities, room being provided for her at the 
Fraternity or Club House. He meets her 
at the station upon her arrival and escorts 
her to her destination, where he places her 
under the charge of the chaperon. At col- 
leges situated near large cities, this custom 
does not usually prevail. Where there are 
plenty of hotels and boarding-houses, it is 
easy for visitors from a distance to make 
their own arrangements about rooms. For 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

his own family, a Harvard student would 
engage apartments in Cambridge or Boston, 
a Yale man would do so at New Haven. 
For friends whose presence was especially 
desired, they would be glad to perform the 
same service, or it might be arranged to have 
some favorite cousins or other young girls 
and perhaps one or two men accompany the 
family party. These long-distance guests 
will be the especial charge of our Senior. 
He will provide them with tickets for the 
base-ball game or other athletic sports and 
the Senior dance, as well as for the festivities 
of the great day itself. Since the space at 
most colleges, and consequently the number 
of tickets issued to each person, is necessarily 
limited, he may have some difficulty in ma- 
king an equitable distribution. Hence it 
is best not to have the party of visitors too 
large. The parents or elderly relatives 
would be the persons most interested in the 
College exercises, the young people in the 
games and dances. 

A hospitable host wishes to do escort duty 
so far as he can, but his class obligations 
may interfere. To sit with your fellows at 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

an athletic performance, and groan or cheer 
as the case may require, is of course a pro- 
fessional obligation of the undergraduate, 
which must not lightly be tampered with. 
The advent of a very charming girl is al- 
most the only interference that can be tol- 
erated. On Class-Day itself the Seniors 
are obliged to take part in various exercises 
which keep them away from their guests. 
Hence they often ask friends in the Junior 
Class to assist them in doing the honors. 
The visiting friends must not be neglected 
nor left to wander about alone in unfamiliar 
places. For the formal dances, it is a part 
of the pleasant duty of the host to fill up 
beforehand the cards of his sister and other 
feminine guests, making exchanges mth his 
college friends. 

The graduating class often provide a 
number of ladies, persons of high social 
standing in the community, to act as chap- 
erons at a dance. In this case the young 
ladies are invited without their mothers. 
They go together in groups of two or more, 
or a maid accompanies them. Where the 
dance takes place in a theatre or in a hall 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

large enough to accommodate the parents, 
they are of course invited. 

If the visiting party include some pretty 
girl or agreeable cousin, our Senior may 
usually be counted on to give them all the 
time he can spare. When no such attract- 
ive person is present, he should still try to 
arrange his engagements in a way to enable 
him to see as much of them as possible. 
Visitors are not usually exacting at such 
seasons, for they know their young friend 
must be exceedingly busy. If our host 
greets his friends on their arrival with hos- 
pitable warmth and cordiality, if they find 
all necessary preparations made for their 
pleasure and comfort, if he looks them up 
or meets them by appointment from time to 
time, they will not quarrel with his enforced 
absences. Perhaps he may be able to run 
in for ten minutes only, yet if he shows 
hospitable intent and forethought in these 
brief visits, they will be more agreeable 
than an hour spent in apologizing for some 
neglect or blunder. 

On Class-Day itself or whatever the gala 
day of the particular college is called, our 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Senior will wish to throw open his rooms 
as a place of rest, refreshment and general 
rendezvous for his friends. He should pro- 
vide a dressing room for the ladies in addi- 
tion to the principal apartment. 

Customs with regard to spreads vary at 
different colleges. At some there is a gen- 
eral entertainment to which all the guests 
of the day are invited; at others there are 
many spreads given by individuals or by so- 
cieties. Our Senior will probably wish to 
offer some simple refreshments to his friends 
from a distance and perhaps to others. 
Sandwiches, cake, lemonade and punch will 
be sufficient, with tea or coffee if the weather 
is cold or damp. There are always caterers 
or grocers from whom the necessary china, 
glass and silver can be hired, although their 
prices are sometimes exorbitant. The in- 
vitations to spreads should include parents 
or chaperons as well as daughters. Hence 
while the Senior usually endeavors to pro- 
vide a chaperon, he does not always do so, 
as it is not expected that a young lady will 
come to Class-Day mthout one. 

The Senior himself is the host of the oc- 
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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

casion, but he is glad to have his mother and 
sisters present and to introduce his guests 
to them. If he unites with others in giving 
a more elaborate spread, engraved invita- 
tions are usually sent out, requesting the 
honor or the pleasure of Mrs. Blank's 
company. In addition to the names of all 
the hosts (or of the Society), it is well to 
give that of the person to whom the answer 
should be sent. In some cases it is necessary 
to reply to the first invitation, in order to 
receive cards of admission. At a formal 
spread some substantial dishes are usually 
included in the menu, especially if it comes 
at an hour when people ordinarily take their 
meals. Salads, croquettes, ices, cakes, can- 
dies, coffee and punch would make a suf- 
ficient bill-of-fare. This would vary some- 
what with the season of the year, strawber- 
ries being inevitable so long as they last. 
Bouillon, though especially appropriate to 
cold weather, is good at any time of the year. 
The services of a caterer and his assistants 
would be called in for an entertainment of 
this character. The hosts and the other 
young men would help in passing the re- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

freshments, but it is very desirable to have 
enough professional waiters to make sure 
that all will be well and quietly done, without 
accident or confusion. At some spreads 
there is dancing in a hall or in a tent put up 
for the occasion, a band of musicians being 
in attendance. 

Friends who come for the day may be 
quite at a loss to know where they should 
go for lunch or dinner. Our Senior or his 
deputy may take them to a hotel or a club- 
house, or at least tell them where meals 
can be procured. Ladies who remain until 
evening usually have a masculine escort. If 
they have not, the Senior or his friend will 
remember to put them on board the trolley 
or train, or to see them to their carriage or 
automobile. 

At a woman's college, the young women 
should give as much thought to the enter- 
tainment of their guests as they themselves 
would expect, were they visiting a man's 
college. It cannot be denied that the pleas- 
ant communal life of the young people has 
a tendency to make them feel themselves 
a little apart, perhaps a httle superior to 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the rest of the world. This esprit de corps 
has its advantages, but it does not promote 
hospitaUty. We will not say that girls have 
this feeling more strongly developed than 
boys, but it is more noticeable and more 
disagreeable in young women, because we 
are accustomed to find the graces and ameni- 
ties of life especially emphasized among the 
fair sex. Hence the girl who thinks it smart 
to be a neglectful or careless hostess, makes 
a great mistake. It has been unkindly said 
that a man's manners are improved by col- 
lege life, but that those of a girl are made 
worse. If this is true, and I do not say 
that it is, we must remember that the new 
position in which women find themselves, 
the absence of centuries of tradition regu- 
lating conduct, must excuse many short- 
comings. Our college hostess should make 
every effort to provide for the comfort and 
welfare of her guests. She should " have 
them on her mind " quite as much as a man 
would. It is perhaps unnecessary to say that 
her men friends need not be met at nor es- 
corted back to the train. If some distin- 
guished guest of the class is expected, the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN ANT> COUNTRY 

committee appointed to meet him should 
consist of at least two members. The rule 
of Sisters of Charity, to go about in pairs 
whenever possible, is a good one. The lec- 
turer who found a single bare-headed girl 
student waiting for him at the station, in 
order to escort him to the college, was a little 
surprised and amused. The lack of conven- 
tionahty displayed by this young girl was 
not a breach of hospitality, but it was not in 
good taste. 

At women's colleges, where the students 
have only a single room apiece or perhaps 
only half of an apartment shared by a chum, 
individual spreads are hardly possible. The 
dramatic entertainments and graceful fancy 
dances are among the attractive features 
of the graduation season at women's col- 
leges. Fortunate is the guest who receives 
an invitation to " Float Day " at Wellesley, 
when the fair crews look their prettiest on 
the little lake. Bryn Mawr has had some 
lovely representations of Shakespeare's 
plays " Under the greenwood tree " and 
Vassar's " Daisy Chain " of charming young 
women, has been often reproduced for our 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

sympathetic admiration. At Smith the Se- 
nior Dramatics are the central point of 
eager interest and are much admired. They 
take the place of dancing at Commencement. 
The Baccalaureate Sermon, Ivy Exercises 
and Commencement itself, ending with a big 
stand-up lunch, make up the programme, 
few guests being present beyond the circle 
of near relatives, it is said. 

At women's colleges the teachers usually 
act as chaperons, their position giving them 
a certain dignity, though they may be still 
young women. A teacher should matronize 
any occasion to which men are invited, un- 
less the student's mother or some other mar- 
ried lady undertake this duty. 



[235] 



CHAPTER XVII 



WOMEN S CLUBS 




VERY woman's club in- 
tends to show cordial hospi- 
tality to its guests and it usu- 
ally succeeds in doing so. As 
I write, pleasant memories of 
gala days and of many kind- 
nesses received, rise up before me. American 
women are kind and thoughtful hostesses in 
the club world, as they are out of it, and 
plan all arrangements with that painstaking 
detail characteristic of the feminine mind. 
When we remember how new this associ- 
ative movement among the members of our 
sex is, and how rapidly it has grown during 
the last quarter of a century, the sound or- 
ganization and successful administration of 
its congregate hospitality seem surprising. 
Where a slip or omission occurs, it is usually 
due to a lack of clear understanding be- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

tween the different officers, or because those 
in authority have not thought all around the 
subject. There is sometimes a little con- 
fusion about the respective duties of the 
president or secretary and the entertainment 
committee, each party supposing that the 
other will meet an expected guest, for in- 
stance. Since the secretary conducts the 
correspondence, she knows the hour of ar- 
rival. In some societies it falls to the lot 
of this official to go to the train to receive 
a visitor ; in others a member of the hospital- 
ity committee is deputed to perform the 
duty. It is well therefore to have all these 
details clearly arranged beforehand. Again, 
loyalty to the society sometimes results in a 
lack of perfect hospitality. The members 
feel that their first duty is to their club and 
forget that an outsider is not bound to the 
same allegiance. Hence while performing 
their own tasks, they sometimes neglect the 
stranger within their gates. She is perhaps 
left in a cold and cheerless waiting-room 
until business has been transacted, or she 
sits alone at the conclusion of the pro- 
gramme, while the members electioneer or 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

discuss some interesting project among 
themselves. 

An energetic and capable house com- 
mittee is a very important part of club 
machinery. What is every one's duty is no 
one's, as we all know. We would not be 
understood as saying that a club, like a 
corporation, has no soul; but being an ab- 
straction, it must exercise its functions 
through individuals or committees. The en- 
tertainment or house committee should be so 
large that none of the members need be over- 
burdened. A part of their duty should be 
the welcoming of new members and making 
these feel entirely at home in their new sur- 
roundings. It is so much easier and pleas- 
anter to chat with old friends than to make 
conversation with new ones, that the latter 
may sit neglected and alone during an in- 
termission, simply because no one has 
thought about them. Hence the very en- 
joyment of our club life sometimes makes 
us appear inhospitable, for we forget that 
new members and strangers cannot in the 
nature of things feel as much at home as we 

[238] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

do. Yet we wish them to share fully in our 
enjoyment. 

Where the club function takes place in 
a suburb or small town, it is well to have 
the invitations give the hours of the starting 
of the trains, and also directions for reach- 
ing the place of meeting. In large cities, 
people are supposed to know in some mirac- 
ulous way just how to go to any given spot; 
but in the country, even the most intelligent 
inhabitant of the neighboring metropolis is 
glad to be told whither to turn his footsteps. 
In small places, it is the pleasant custom on 
gala club days to meet guests from out of 
town at the station. Conveyances are usu- 
ally provided, unless the distance from the 
station is very short. This thoughtful pro- 
vision is always made for elderly or infirm 
ladies. It is well to have the dressing-rooms 
under some surveillance, for sneak thieves 
have been known to carry off wraps from 
club houses, I regret to say. The president 
and vice-presidents stand in line to receive 
the guests and give them a right cordial 
greeting. The almost invariable custom is 

[239] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

to shake hands with all comers. A few so- 
cieties receive with a curtsey only, but the 
effect is decidedly chilling. The president 
at least, should extend her hand to all guests. 
Sometimes the chairman of the hospitality 
committee or of the department under 
whose auspices the entertainment is given, 
stands in the receiving line. Officers of the 
Federation or other distinguished guests, or 
members of the local executive board, may 
also be asked to do so. It is always pleasant 
to have young girls act as ushers and find 
seats for the guests. 

Happy the club that has the genius to 
plan a short yet effective programme and 
the courage to carry it out! It would seem 
self-evident that the great point on the occa- 
sion of any festivity, is to provide entertain- 
ment, sometimes happily combined with in- 
struction, for the company present. This 
main object is often lost sight of, in the de- 
sire to please members of the club and their 
friends, by giving them an opportunity to 
display " local talent," musical or otherwise. 
Then some one is very apt to be late and 
another person takes up more than her share 

[240] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of time for her address, and often the women 
who have been asked to speak toward the 
end of the programme, are obliged to leave 
before their turn comes. All of which is 
unfortmiate and mars the perfection of the 
occasion. In planning a programme, it is 
well to remember that delays will occur and 
that some speakers will exceed their time 
hmit. At a convention they can be stopped 
with a bell, but on a social afternoon one can- 
not enforce the ten-minute rule without being 
impolite. Those in charge should make up 
their minds beforehand what can best be 
sacrificed, if it becomes necessary to cut out 
some portion of the programme. If there 
are out-of-town guests present and they 
have been asked to speak, it is well to ascer- 
tain at what hour they will be obliged to 
leave. It is manifestly discourteous to invite 
a lady to prepare a speech and then give her 
no opportunity to deliver it. 

A club luncheon is usually moderate in 
cost, in order to enable all the members to 
attend it without taxing any one's purse too 
heavily. The Daughters of the American 
Revolution usually put the price at one dol- 

[241] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

lar. The Federations of Clubs sometimes 
make it even less, fifty or seventy-five cents. 
Something depends on local standards of 
expense, amount of service furnished, etc. 
Now that long and elaborate meals have 
gone out of fashion, there would seem to be 
little excuse for making a club luncheon or 
dinner the occasion of ostentation and large 
expense. The members often contribute to 
the decoration of the table and rooms, bring- 
ing flowers from their gardens, or silver and 
glass from well-stocked china-closets, thus 
enabling the general treasury to devote more 
funds to the musical or Uterary part of the 
programme. In planning the arrangement 
of the tables, care should be taken to put 
guests next to those who have invited them, 
or in the neighborhood of bright and agree- 
able club members. A special table is some- 
times arranged for the officers and distin- 
guished guests, the chief places of honor be- 
ing on the right and left of the president. 
It is the privilege of this officer to act as 
toast -mistress, introducing each person in a 
few bright well-chosen words. These intro- 
ductions must always be brief, for the audi- 

[242] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ence is waiting, sometimes impatiently, to 
hear the speakers of the programme, and 
under these circumstances they disHke floods 
of preliminary oratory. Sometimes the 
president asks the vice-president to act as 
mistress of ceremonies at the table. 

A club tea is usually simple in character, 
like an ordinary afternoon tea. It gives a 
homelike atmosphere and also greater ele- 
gance to the affair, if there are one or two 
handsomely set tables, with a hostess at each 
end presiding over the tea or coffee urn 
or whatever form of refreshment is chosen. 
If many outsiders are invited, ice cream is 
sometimes served but this is not obligatory. 
The more simple the bill-of-fare, the more 
attention we should pay to having it suited 
to the season and the weather. Lemonade 
and fruit punch are excellent in summer, tea 
and coffee in winter. On a cold, rainy eve- 
ning in June however, cooling drinks and 
ice cream alone seem very frigid, and when 
rooms are much heated we like something 
cool even in January. 

For gentlemen's night, it is best to have 
a rather light, attractive programme, not be- 

[243] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

cause of any supposed intellectual inferior- 
ity of the masculine mind, but because men 
are usually rather weary after the business 
of the day. Music not too serious in charac- 
ter, dramatics in some form, readings, reci- 
tations, lectures amusing rather than heavy, 
all are good for this purpose. Women 
do not need to be told that men like more 
solid food than we do. Yet the club hostess 
often has a serious problem before her in 
the condition of the treasury. She knows 
that the husbands and fathers will expect 
something first-class in the literary or mu- 
sical part of the programme; indeed the so- 
ciety is on its mettle to show that it can really 
provide a feast of reason if not a flow of 
soul. Hence some clubs have come to the 
conclusion that it is best to procure profes- 
sional talent for gentlemen's night, even 
though this may involve the necessity of giv- 
ing only light refreshments, such as ice 
cream and coffee. Club officers have been 
known to ask the speaker to cut down his 
price, in order to enable them to offer re- 
freshments to their guests or to decorate 
their tables with flowers; but this is surely 

[244] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

placing too high a value on the material and 
visible side of life, as well as being unjust 
to the man of letters. 

A club officer or member should always 
meet the speaker of the day at the station 
or send a conveyance for him, and arrange- 
ments should be made for sending him back 
at the close of the entertainment. Such a 
person is almost always received with great 
cordiality and consideration, the danger 
often being that he will be killed with kind- 
ness. Ruth McEnery Stuart has written 
a very amusing account of her experiences, 
ending with the schoolgirls who tiptoed into 
the lecturer's bedroom before she was awake 
in the morning, in order to have a peep at 
the visiting celebrity. Another speaker has 
told us of hosts who kept her talking till 
midnight, never thinking that she might 
wish to rest after the fatigues of the evening. 
As for handshaking with all the club mem- 
bers, that is always a pleasure, although 
sometimes fatiguing at the close of a long 
address. An elderly man or woman should 
always be asked beforehand whether he or 
she will be too tired to go through this cere- 

[ 245 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

mony. It is well to consult the speaker in 
advance before making engagements for a 
lunch, dinner or reception for him. He will 
probably be glad to accept these kind and 
flattering attentions, but fatigue or other 
demands upon his time, may prevent his be- 
ing able to do so. 



[246] 




PART IV 
CHAPTER XVIII 

Hll^TS FOR CLUB FESTIYITIES 

IHE most suitable and success- 
ful club festivities are usually 
those which bear some rela- 
tion to the work of the soci- 
ety, treated in lighter vein. 
Women's clubs are serious 
bodies for the most part, who give their at- 
tention to study or who engage in good 
works. On gala days all desire to make 
merry and as their usual pursuits lurk in 
their minds, a little gentle fun is made 'of 
these. The same thing is true of the social 
meetings of ministers and doubtless of men 
of other callings, who enjoy telling amusing 
stories relating to their own profession. In 
the same way the speeches at the annual en- 
tertainments of women's clubs, deal with 

[247] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the doings of associated womanhood and 
some of them treat these in a himiorous vein. 
It is well that they should, for the man who 
can lay aside his burden and have a good 
laugh, will carry it farther than his unsmil- 
ing brother who can never part with his load. 

THE SEVEN AGES OF WOMAN 

For a club that has been studying history, 
tableaux showing the dress of the period or 
a play illustrating its manners, is appropri- 
ate. Shakespeare's " Seven ages of man," 
changed to the distaff side of the house, 
makes an amusing programme. They may 
be presented as a series of tableaux or as 
wax-works in Mrs. Jarley style. A stout 
and short middle-aged lady, wearing a low- 
necked and short-sleeved frock and an in- 
fant's cap, makes a ridiculous baby. She sits 
on a tall office stool by way of a high chair 
and waves a rattle. A tall slender woman, 
with hair hanging in long plaits, and duly ar- 
rayed in sunbonnet, pinafore, broad collar 
and short skirts, personates the school-girl. 
The feminine lover wears Civil War cos- 

[248] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AOT) COUNTRY 

tume and assumes a very languishing air. 
She must " sigh like a furnace " and roll up 
her eyes. A Red-Cross nurse takes the place 
of the soldier. She bears a tra}^ of bottles 
with which she " presents arms," when 
wound up. A handsome young woman of 
fine presence represents the justice. She is 
arrayed in college gown and mortar-board 
and sits at a table spread with eatables. To 
show the superiority of twentieth-century de- 
velopment, the lean and slippered pantaloon 
is replaced by the club president, serious and 
dignified. Her costume should be simple 
and severe but in good style — a tailor-made 
suit and plain hat. The effect of her dress 
should be a little mannish but not objection- 
ably so. She carries a ponderous gavel with 
which she raps for order, when duly wound 
up. 

A MUD - PIE TEA 

For the educational department, a mud- 
pie tea makes an effective programme. It 
typifies the pleasure of returning to simple 
and childish things, after many long strug- 
gles with educational problems and the peru- 

[249] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AJO) COUNTRY 

sal of long-winded essays full of learned 
terms. A club numbering some well-known 
literary women among its members, gave 
such a tea with great success. A large, 
round cake covered with chocolate icing oc- 
cupied the centre of the table and repre- 
sented the mud-pie. Chocolate eclairs and 
bonbons helped to emphasize the same idea. 
Boston brown-bread gave another touch of 
the desired color. Literary exercises pre- 
ceded the feast, original verses dealing with 
the theme of the afternoon in serio-comic 
style. Before adjourning, the audience 
joined in singing a parody whereof the re- 
frain was: 

" Shoo Fly, don't bodder me, 
For I belong to the mud-pie tea." 

A club composed of less gifted women could 
substitute Kindergarten songs and games 
for original papers and verses. 

A BLUE TEA 

which was in effect a blue-stocking tea, fur- 
nished a delightful afternoon to a literary 

[250] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

club. The members and their friends were 
asked to appear in costumes of the chosen 
color, or at least to wear some blue article 
of dress. So many complied with the re- 
quest that a decidedly cerulean hue pre- 
vailed. One lady had tall plumes in her hair, 
another wore the traditional blue stockings 
of the learned woman of ancient days, and 
there were charming costumes of sky color. 
Draperies for the drawing-room were hastily 
improvised from ribbons, scarfs and shawls. 
Tissue paper of the desired color covered 
many deficiencies, furnishing candle and 
lamp shades. The guests on arriving found 
a large, blue letter " T " hanging from the 
porte-cochere in front of the door. It was 
ordered from the tinsmith's and was not ex- 
pensive. The afternoon's entertainment 
took the form of a literary picnic, each per- 
son bringing an original contribution in 
prose or verse, or an appropriate quotation. 
Imaginary letters were read from Blue- 
beard, Little Boy Blue and Mrs. Bloo-mer. 
The sketch of Blueberry Jones, in Dickens' 
" Mutual Friend," would have been appro- 
priate. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

As the color of the day was not to be 
found in foodstuffs, tissue paper again did 
duty on the tea table. Sugar almonds were 
neatly wrapped in it and placed in a circle 
around the edge of a large cake with white 
frosting. At each place was a name-card 
painted with a blue design. Candles and 
costume crackers carried out the prevailing 
note of color. The occasion was declared a 
great success. In reproducing it, there 
would be room for ingenuity in finding suit- 
able quotations, such as: 

" Deeply, darkly, desperately blue," or 
" Roll on, thou deep blue ocean, roll," etc. 

A novel variation from the oldtime sew- 
ing-circle idea is 

THE QUILT CLUB 

This consists of ten or more ladies who 
unite to make a bedspread of some sort. It 
may be knitted or crocheted in strips or in 
small pieces, to be joined together after- 
wards; or each person may make a square 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of needle-work. Patchwork quilts of silk or 
cotton appeal to sentiment, because they pre- 
serve the memory of favorite gowns; they 
have the farther advantage of using up odds 
and ends of material. The spread when 
finished may be presented to the pastor, or 
it may be sold or " voted " at a fair. The 
unique feature of the Quilt Club however, 
is that each member invites two gentlemen 
to come in later in the evening, when the 
time for work is over. If the meeting begins 
at eight o'clock, the men are asked to come at 
nine. Each lady keeps the names of the 
persons she has asked a deep secret, so that 
there is a great deal of fun when the guests 
arrive. In a suburban town, friends from 
the neighboring city could be asked, in order 
to make a variety and to avoid inviting the 
same people over and over again. 

THE YELLOW SUPPER 

The Yellow Supper of our grandmothers 
was perhaps the ancestor of the modern pink 
and blue teas. It deserves to be revived, as 
a picturesque feature of the country-side. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Early autumn is the proper time for its cele- 
bration. The bill-of-fare should comprise 
baked pumpkin, sweet corn served on the 
cob, omelette, baked quinces and pumpkin 
johnny-cake. Golden-hued pears and ap- 
ples make a pretty centre-piece and serve 
also as dessert. Marigolds, sunflowers or 
other yellow blossoms are used as decora- 
tions. 



[254] 




CHAPTER XIX 

NOVEL IDEAS FOR PATRIOTIC ENTERTAIN- 
MENTS 

N these days of luxurious liv- 
ing, it is well for us to recall 
from time to time, the poverty 
and hardships with which our 
ancestors were obliged to 
struggle, during the days of 
the Revolution. If we can illustrate these 
in picturesque form, they will make a much 
greater impression on our minds than the 
perusal of many pages of dry chronicles 
would produce. 

The Swamp-Fox lunch is an absolute nov- 
elty, although it recalls a story with which 
we are all familiar. Every school-boy knows 
about the unique dinner in the wilds of South 
Carolina, where General Marion, the 
Swamp-Fox as he was called by the enemy, 
courteously entertained the astonished Brit- 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

ish officer. Sweet potatoes baked in the 
ashes and served on pieces of birch bark, 
formed the first, last and only course of this 
historic repast. 

In reproducing this famous dinner, it is 
not necessary to restrict the bill of fare to 
the abstemious diet of the Revolutionary 
hero. The first course should consist of 
sweet potatoes alone, served on plates of 
birch bark. These may be represented by 
the plates of thin wood used by bakers and 
others. A pretty surprise can be furnished 
by cutting the potatoes in two lengthwise, 
hollowing them out and placing a tiny reed 
bird in the cavity of each. The two halves 
are then fitted together nicely and the whole 
warmed in the oven. It is necessary to select 
large potatoes and to trim off the ends, thus 
forming an egg-shaped body. Other courses 
may follow, keeping in mind always the key- 
note of the occasion, simplicity and frugality. 
Cold meat served with a simple salad, Indian 
pudding and coffee would make a suitable 
menu. Molasses and water might be served 
as a beverage with the sweet potato course. 
The motto of Marion and his men, " Liberty 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

or Death," should appear on the name card 
at each place, or it could be printed in green 
letters on a white riband, stretched diago- 
nally across the table. The decorations 
should be of evergreen, representing the 
sprigs of fir which the partisans wore in 
their hats, to distinguish them from the 
Tories, who mounted white cockades. 

The Rice Supper is another form of en- 
tertainment especially suitable to patriotic 
celebrations intended to recall the privations 
of the soldiers of the Revolution. Cold rice, 
without even salt to make it palatable, often 
furnished the only rations of the Southern 
partisans. This vegetable should be intro- 
duced into as many of the courses as possible. 
It is very nutritious and easily digested, but 
requires great care in preparation, as every 
good housewife knows. To serve rice thor- 
oughly boiled, yet with the kernels whole 
and distinct, is a small culinary triumph. 
Hence a Rice Supper enables the ladies who 
get it up, to display their skill as cooks. It 
may begin with rice soup, followed by a 
savory pilau as the " Piece de resistance." 
Croquettes of the same material, served with 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

currant or other jelly, form an appropriate 
enti^ee. The dessert should be the tradi- 
tional Poor Man's Pudding, plain rice and 
milk, cooked slowly until it thickens to a 
dehcious creamy consistency, when cold. Or 
some form of moulded rice may be used — 
such as Riz a Uimperatrice„ which resembles 
Bavarian cream. The decorations should be 
simple white flowers, to denote the purity of 
the Patriots' motives and to match the rice 
in color. 

A Cherry Lunch or Supper is another 
novelty, especially suitable for Washing- 
ton's Birthday. The decorations should be 
red and white or red alone. The first course 
should be grape fruit, liberally studded with 
cherries. Little fancy dishes containing can- 
died fruit of the same variety, should be scat- 
tered about the table or placed at the four 
comers. For dessert, canned or preserved 
cherries may be used in a pie, or cherry jelly 
can be served either in a moulded form or in 
small glasses with whipped cream on top. 
The Washington coat-of-arms should be 
used on the name cards, if the lunch is given 
on February 22d or on January 6th, the 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

wedding-day of the Father of his country. 
If the festival takes place in summer, charm- 
ing decorations can be made with branches 
from the cherry trees, holding the ripe fruit 
and green leaves. These may be laid on the 
table in a circular form surrounding the 
centrepiece, or they may radiate from it in 
such a way as to form a star, or they may 
be scattered over the cloth in some pretty 
design. The day when Washington took 
command of the Army, July 5th, would be 
a fitting one for this celebration. 

For the dramatic entertainments of pa- 
triotic societies, our early history offers 
many hints. It abounded in picturesque 
events, some of which have been seized and 
portrayed by the master hand of Haw- 
thorne. By his magic touch he has immor- 
talized these stories, giving them the same 
charm for us as his delightful rendering of 
the Greek myths offers, in the classic Won- 
derbook and Tanglewood Tales. It would 
be a simple matter to present in pantomimic 
form or with a few spoken words, the Twice 
Told Tales dealing with historical subjects. 
Thus the May-pole of Merry Mount would 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

give an excellent opportunity for the pretty, 
traditional may-pole dance, braiding and 
unbraiding the ribbons. Some of the merry 
company should appear as mummers, dis- 
guised with animals' heads or other quaint 
devices. Some should wear gay and pic- 
turesque dress, with crowns of flowers. The 
stern old Piu'itan Endicott and his men, 
wear helmets, breastplates and swords. The 
first-named can be made by wetting old felt 
hats, stretching them into the desired shape 
and moulding them over the top of a newel- 
post, a jelly mould or other convenient ob- 
ject. Crinoline or buckram might be used 
in the same way. 

The entrance of this armed band upon 
the scene, when the merry-making is at its 
height, furnishes a truly dramatic moment. 
They fell the may-pole, a heathen emblem 
in their sight, with their swords, scatter the 
flowers and flaunting finery, and arrest the 
gay revellers. The pillory and the stocks 
loom before the motley crew, mirth is turned 
to sorrow. Yet the sequel shows the Puritan 
at his best. Even Endicott is moved to com- 
passion by the plight of the King and Queen 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of the May, who cling sadly together, in the 
midst of the general desolation. He notices 
their true affection for each other, their cour- 
age and gallant bearing, and takes them 
under his protection. Lifting a garland of 
roses from the ruin, he throws it over the 
heads of the newly wedded couple, with his 
own mailed hand, thus typifying the beauty 
of true affection and its survival over the 
wreck of idle amusement. 

" The Gray Champion " furnishes a 
drama of more sober interest, illustrating 
once more the inevitable triumph of liberty 
over tyranny and persecution. The angry 
people are massed on one side of the stage, 
the cruel Royal Governor and his myrmi- 
dons on the other. 

" Oh Lord of Hosts, provide a champion 
for thy people!" cries a voice from the 
crowd. Suddenly it parts as if in answer 
to the prayer and the figure of an old man 
appears, wearing the long, dark cloak and 
steeple-crowned hat of the Puritans, a heavy 
sword on his thigh and a staff in his aged 
hand. Holding up his staff, with the ges- 
ture of one used to command, he bids the 

[261] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

astonished Governor stand where he is and 
go no farther. The victory of the Gray 
Champion (who is supposed to have been 
one of the regicides) the retreat of the 
tyrant, may be portrayed in dumb show or 
given in a few sentences from Hawthorne's 
story. 

" Are you mad, old man? " demanded Sir 
Edmund Andros harshly. " How dare 
you stay the march of King James's Gov- 
ernor i 

" I have stayed the march of a King him- 
self ere now," rephed the gray figure, with 
stern composure. 

" I am here, Sir Governor, because the cry 
of an oppressed people hath disturbed me in 
my secret place. . . . Back, thou that wast a 
Governor, back ! With this night thy power 
is ended — to-morrow the prison! — back, 
lest I foretell the scaffold! " 

Howe's Masquerade would make a very 
telling pantomime. It needs an ancient 
colonial hall or a modern reproduction of 
one, for a stage setting. The shadowy fig- 
ures of the Royal Governors steal in silent 
procession down the broad stairway, the last 

[262] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of the group lamenting with wild gesture 
the fall of the old order of things and the 
coming success of the Patriot cause. The 
meeting between Sir William Howe and 
his counterfeit presentment, or was it his 
double? makes the dramatic climax of the 
scene, as outlined by Hawthorne. 



[263] 




CHAPTER XX 

PROGRESSIVE DINNERS, BARMECIDE'S FEASTS, 
MAGIC SUPPERS AND OTHER NOYELTIES 

JHE Progressive Dinner was 
doubtless suggested by the 
mad tea-party in Alice in 
Wonderland. To persons of 
mature years and settled 
habits, such a form of enter- 
tainment is very distasteful, but very young 
people find it highly amusing. To youths 
and maidens in their teens or early twenties, 
it is delightful to be in constant motion; 
their gay spirits rejoice in the fun of the 
thing and in the lack of all formality. A 
progressive dinner certainly breaks up all 
stiffness and can therefore be recommended 
to shy young men and women who possess 
unimpeachable digestions. Of course no 
one could attend such feasts often without 
becoming a hopeless dyspeptic. To give a 

[264] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

progressive dinner, a number of hostesses 
combine. Each one agrees to furnish a 
single course, soup, meat or fish as the case 
may be, at her dwelHng, and the merry 
party of diners go from one house to the 
other, until the menu is completed. Dan- 
cing or round games make an appropriate 
ending to the evening. 

The invitations may be given over the 
telephone or by informal notes. 

" My dear Mr. Bridges: May we have 
the pleasure of seeing you at a progressive 
dinner which we are arranging for Thurs- 
day evening next, May 25th? The first 
course will be served at my house at seven 
o'clock, the other hostesses in their order 
being, Mrs. Brown of number three Irving 
Place, Mrs. Jones of Madison Avenue, etc., 
etc. 

" Hoping to welcome you to soup beneath 
my roof, I remain, 

" Very sincerely yours, 

" Clara Durgin." 

Or the invitation may be in the form of a 

[265] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

round robin, with the signatures of all the 
hostesses appended. When the houses of 
the entertainers are near together, the gay 
party of young people walk from one to the 
other, unless they prefer to go in an omni- 
bus or other vehicle. When the snow is on 
the ground, it is great fun to make the trip 
in a sleigh. 

The length of time which the different 
courses and the intervening walks or drives 
will take, must be carefully calculated be- 
forehand, in order that each hostess may 
have her share of the meal in readiness at 
the right moment. It would be easy for the 
lady actually entertaining the guests, to 
telephone to the next on the list, when to 
expect them. Even the gay spirits of youth 
might be dampened by finding the beef all 
dried up or the ice cream reduced to a pink 
lake! Each hostess has her dinner table 
prettily arranged and decorated with flow- 
ers or greenery. Since only one course is to 
be served, it is only necessary to provide the 
knives and forks or spoons required for that. 
In all other respects, the table should be 
fully set as for an ordinary dinner party. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

It is not advisable to have a great number 
of courses, as this would take too much time. 
A dinner of this sort sometimes lasts three 
hours it is said. The same couples may re- 
main together throughout the entertainment 
or they may change with each course. 

The Topsy-turvy Dinner may well be 
called a freak entertainment, where the 
guests begin with the frozen pudding and 
end with the soup. It would seem to be 
more worthy of ostriches than of sensible 
human beings, with a proper regard for 
their digestions. 



A TWENTIETH CENTURY BARMECIDE'S FEAST 



Every one who has read the Arabian 
Nights remembers the Barmecide's feast, 
where the anxiously expectant guest, after 
going through all the courses of an imagi- 
nary entertainment, was rewarded at last by 
a savory banquet, served in proper fashion. 
This idea may be pleasantly utilized by hav- 
ing the first two courses consist of conversa- 
tion only. The invitations should be for a 
Twentieth Century Barmecide's feast. On 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

entering the dining-room, the guests should 
find the table handsomely set and well- 
lighted, but bare of all food. After all have 
taken their seats, the mistress of the feast, 
who may be either the hostess or some one 
deputed by her, should say, 

'' Ladies, our first course will be Pot- 
Luck Soup, the question being, do you be- 
lieve in luck and why? " There should be 
one or two bright people among the guests, 
to make the conversation go off well. Be- 
fore the interest begins to drag, the hostess 
claps her hands and orders invisible servants 
to remove the dishes. She may then an- 
nounce another imaginary course. 

" Our next course will be strictly vegeta- 
rian. Is it better to sow wild oats or tame 
ones? " or any subject that occurs to her. 

After this has been sufficiently discussed, 
the real dinner should be brought in and the 
guests rewarded for their abstinence. In- 
stead of having the imaginary part of the 
feast served in the dining-room, the guests 
may gather around a table in the drawing- 
room, adjourning to the first named apart- 
ment at the close of the Barmecide prelude 

[268] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

to the lunch proper. Or in summer, it 
would be a pleasant surprise to have the pre- 
liminaries in the dining-room and the actual 
meal on a shady piazza. 

POVERTY AND PURE FOOD LUNCHEONS AND 
MAGIC SUPPERS 

The Poverty luncheon especially com- 
mends itself to young and energetic house- 
keepers. A number of these, living in the 
same town or village, combine to form a 
lunch club, agreeing that no entertainment 
shall cost more than a certain sum — fifty 
cents for instance — per capita. The host- 
ess must furnish an itemized account of the 
cost of the lunch, mentioning the amount of 
the different ingredients used, flour, butter, 
etc., and the price of each. The variety and 
excellence of the bills of fare is often sur- 
prising. Each housekeeper tries, in a spirit 
of friendly rivalry, to surpass her neighbors. 
Everyone receives a practical lesson in 
economy and much ingenuity is developed. 
One important factor is commonly over- 
looked and that is the time consumed in the 

[269] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

preparation of the meal. Labor is the most 
expensive of all commodities in twentieth 
century America. We see this plainly, 
whenever the bill of a carpenter or other 
artisan is presented to us for payment. The 
cost of the material used is nothing com- 
pared to the price charged for the labor. 
We have happily reversed the conditions of 
the " Song of the Shirt," where bread was 
so dear and flesh and blood so terribly cheap. 
We have certainly done so, so far as adults 
are concerned. It is greatly to be feared 
that the cheapness of child labor is still a 
threatening evil in our midst. 

Our young housekeeper, if she means to 
be truly up to date, must allow the value of 
the time spent to appear in her calculation 
of costs. It is not good domestic economy 
to save five cents in the price of an article, 
if this entails the expenditure of twenty-five 
cents worth of time in its preparation. Just 
here, another very important question comes 
in, namely that of the condition and purity 
of materials. The pure food crusade has 
proved clearly that in our anxiety to save 
time and money, we have often accepted 

[270] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

cheap substitutes for standard articles, and 
used ready-made brands sadly lacking in 
wholesome quahties. 

A PURE FOOD LUNCH 

furnishes an important lesson in hygiene 
and gives the good housewife an opportu- 
nity to show the superiority of home-made 
soups, salad dressing, jellies, etc., to the once 
popular canned goods. To get up such a 
meal requires some study. If the hostess 
belongs to a woman's club, she can easily 
procure documents warning her against 
the snags in her path. Or she may consult 
the librarian in charge of the nearest public 
library. The revelations as to the deleteri- 
ous elements contained in many food-stuffs, 
especially those of brilliant color, will hor- 
rify her. She should look carefully at all 
bottled and canned articles, to see if they 
have the proper label, " Guaranteed under 
the Pure Food and Drugs Act." For but- 
ter, milk, etc., she must usually rely on local 
inspection. In towns of good size, there is, 
in some states at least, a list of milkmen 

[271] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

whose wares come up to the required 
standard. This is pubhshed by the local 
board of health. The Consumers' League 
which has branches in many places, would 
be glad to give information. The giver of 
the Pure Food Lunch should satisfy her- 
self by personal inspection that her grocer 
keeps his fruit and vegetables in a clean 
place, and not exposed on the sidewalk, 
where dust and germs fly about. 

In order to have an agreeable occasion, 
all conversation on the subject of eatables 
and drinkables must be strictly prohibited 
while the meal is in progress. After the 
guests have adjourned to the drawing-room, 
the bill of fare can be advantageously dis- 
cussed. The recommendations should be 
positive rather than negative. It is pleas- 
anter to dwell on the good things one has 
found, rather than on the bad ones happily 
avoided. For a Pure Food Lunch given in 
the country, the menu should consist prin- 
cipally of eggs and dairy products, fruit 
and vegetables. Chickens from one's own 
or one's neighbor's farm and not from the 
Cold Storage Warehouse, would furnish all 

|i272] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the meat necessary. In making the re- 
searches necessary for the preparation of 
such a lunch, our housewife would learn an 
invaluable lesson. If conditions were found 
to be bad in the community, steps would be 
taken to improve them. Perhaps a town 
improvement society would be formed, or 
a local board of health appointed by the 
authorities. 

While we are finding out the dangers of 
certain old economies, the fertile brains of 
modern inventors are constantly bringing 
new ones within our reach. The heatless 
cooker and the thermo save not only fuel 
and ice, but time and strength. For those 
who do their own work or who are fortunate 
enough to have intelligent assistants, this 
new cooker is a proiStable investment, we 
learn on good authority. The owner of one, 
after she had become sufficiently familiar 
with the workings of her new purchase, 
could well invite her friends to 

A MAGIC SUPPER 

Surely to set before your guests a number 
of dishes cooked without fuel, comes very 

[273] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

near to dealing with witchcraft. The shades 
to the candles and gas or electric globes, 
should be blue in order to produce a weird, 
mysterious light. The central decoration 
should be a three-legged pot to simulate a 
witch's cauldron. This should be suspended 
from three sticks, camping fashion. A few 
joss-sticks burning inside the pot and send- 
ing up fragrant smoke, add to the quaint 
effect. Some tiny pieces of wood, mingled 
with red tinsel or illuminated with a red 
electric bulb, may represent the witch's 
fire. An effective centrepiece may be made 
of white paper, with bats and owls painted 
for a border. The name cards should bear 
pictures of a Salem witch flying through 
the air on the traditional broomstick. Snap- 
dragon, i. e. almonds and raisins in a dish 
with burning brandy, or plum pudding with 
the same accompaniment, is appropriate to 
the Magic Supper. Or fairies may be sub- 
stituted for witches. A fairy pool is easily 
constructed from a mirror surrounded with 
ferns. Paper butterflies may perch here and 
there, and tiny dolls with gauze skirts and 
wands may represent the fairies. Small 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

electric bulbs or Christmas tree candles give 
the effect of glow-worms amid the greenery. 
Where the Magic Supper is not too expen- 
sive in its appointments, it makes a new vari- 
ety of Poverty Lunch. In addition to using 
the fireless cooker, the hostess may farther 
demonstrate her economy of time by the 
employment of a patent bread-mixer and 
other labor-saving devices. If we can save 
human labor, without sacrificing the excel- 
lence of the result, we practise the best kind 
of economy and produce a poverty lunch 
that is really worth while. Instead of re- 
hearsing the small cost of her materials, the 
hostess can give the number of minutes oc- 
cupied in the preparation of the meal and so 
far as possible, in that of each dish. 

Among the new features of the hospital- 
ity of the present day, the hiring of profes- 
sional entertainers to amuse the company, 
at dinners, receptions and other occasions 
in private houses, should be mentioned here. 
I have spoken of it with more detail in the 
chapter on agreeable dinners. The mania 
for novelty is most prevalent among those 
with whom amusement is a large part of the 

^275] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

business of life and it sometimes leads to 
regrettable results. At a recent ball, a num- 
ber of large and wonderfully beautiful but- 
terflies brought from the Tropics, were sud- 
denly let loose. The poor creatures, dazzled 
by the electric lights, flew against these only 
to fall bruised and battered on the shoulders 
and gay toilettes of the guests. A still more 
ambitious host freed a flock of humming- 
birds to "Make a Roman holiday!" It 
would seem to be of little use to preach to 
our children, about the wickedness of cruelty 
to animals, if such unfeeling sports are al- 
lowed to go unrebuked. 

The introduction of a troupe of profes- 
sional negro minstrels to amuse the com- 
pany at a wedding, is another novelty which 
does not recommend itself to sober-minded 
people. Marriage is too serious a matter 
to be entered upon with such burlesque ac- 
companiments. A wedding should certainly 
be a joyous occasion, but the impressive fea- 
tures of the marriage ceremony should not 
be associated with a form of amusement so 
lacking in dignity as the ordinary minstrel 
show. 

[276] 




CHAPTER XXI 

THE STRANGER WITHIN OUR GATES 

lOSPITALITY toward the 
stranger dates back to the 
dawn of civihzation itself. 
In the early, barbarous days 
of primitive man, our savage 
ancestors fought with all 
comers, it is now supposed. A scientific 
man wrote not long since, " It was less dan- 
gerous for the nomad to seek refuge in the 
caves which monsters haunted, than to de- 
mand hospitality of the ferocious host of the 
forest — man." The dark saying of the 
grim old Romans, " Man is a wolf to man," 
was doubtless a legacy from these early 
dreadful days. 

When the human race began to emerge 
from barbarism, all this was greatly modi- 
fied. Clearly there could be no human inter- 
course, no travelling about the world, no 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

trade of any sort, if every man's hand was 
against his brother man. Hence hospitality 
is one of the earhest acts of civilized society, 
or we might almost say, its foundation stone. 
In ancient times it was considered a part of 
religion. In Greece the roads were all held 
sacred and the man who passed over them 
was the guest of the land. He could, if he 
desired, partake of the offerings of food 
placed before the statues of Hermes and 
other tutelary deities of the wayside. Vio- 
lation of the duties of hospitality might pro- 
voke the wrath of the gods, the stranger be- 
ing under the especial protection of Zeus 
himself. 

Beautiful indeed was the view of the un- 
known visitor, which originated in the mystic 
Orient thousands of years ago. He was held 
to be a supernatural being whom it was an 
honor to entertain. This theory is charm- 
ingly set forth in the quaint old story of the 
Angel Gabriel and his visits to two brothers. 
The first was very devout; he had lived as 
a hermit devoting his time to contemplation 
for forty years. The visit of the angel dis- 
turbed him in his meditations. Hence he 

[278] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

did not receive the latter cordially, merely 
offering him some fruit and a place on his 
mat of rushes. Then he returned to his con- 
templation of higher things. Now the other 
brother was a robber by profession. He 
received Gabriel with great hospitality, de- 
spite the difficulties made by his celestial 
visitor, who refused all food, saying he had 
sworn to dine only on seven hearts. The 
bandit slew his five goats to procure the de- 
sired dish, but still the guest declined to eat 
since two were wanting; The robber then 
killed his children to make up the missing 
number of hearts. In spite of this tragedy 
the story ends well. The angel brings the 
children back to life and pardons all the 
crimes of his host, graciously adding, " You 
will enter heaven with the rank of a saint 
of the seventh class." To the pious but 
grudging brother, God sent word that his 
piety was in vain, without the exercise of 
hospitality. 

In our modern industrial and commercial 
civilization, it is not possible for us to enter- 
tain all guests from foreign countries in ac- 
cordance with the old Oriental idea. The 

[279] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

establishment of hotels which exercise a pro- 
fessional hospitality, is a necessity in all 
thickly settled communities. Yet we still 
retain the old desire to show our good-will 
to the stranger within our gates, although 
we may manifest it in new ways. The idea 
of hospitality has broadened and deepened 
since the nations of the world have come into 
so much closer touch through latter day 
inventions. Railroads and steamships, the 
telegraph, the telephone and the motor-car 
bring us into connection not with a few 
individuals, but with whole nations. The 
daily papers, our own travels and the visits 
of countless strangers from other lands, en- 
large the scope of our thoughts and prevent 
our minds from dwelling complacently as 
of old, in the little world of our own country, 
to the exclusion in a great degree of other 
lands. Whether we are conscious of it or 
not, we are coming more and more to show 
hospitality to the ideas of other nations, 
to revise that view of patriotism which made 
it consist in loving our own country and dis- 
liking or distrusting all others. Instead of 
regarding a Frenchman or a German as a 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

hopeless foreigner, whose opinions are not 
hke ours and therefore all wrong, we are be- 
coming interested in his point of view and 
glad to have him explain to us his theories 
and his reasons for holding them. Our hos- 
pitality is thus becoming more national and 
less individual. And here we surpass the 
English, who entertain individuals with cor- 
diality, but maintain an insular reserve 
toward, not to say dislike for, other nations. 
Hence visitors to the British Isles may re- 
turn to this country, greatly pleased with 
their kind reception by certain families, but 
firmly convinced that Englishmen in gen- 
eral are unfriendly to Americans. 

As we are a young nation, we naturally 
display more openness of mind and the tre- 
mendous influx of foreigners upon our 
shores, gives us an object lesson we cannot 
wholly neglect. In order to show hospital- 
ity to the stranger in accordance with the 
ideas of the twentieth century, we must cul- 
tivate a spirit of international comity and 
good-will and we must modify the tendency 
to make the American eagle scream, in the 
presence of the natives of other lands. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

Matthew Arnold says that all praises of our- 
selves by ourselves, are provincial and retard- 
ing. In these days we shudder at the very 
thought of provincialism; but there is an- 
other extreme which is even worse, because 
it savors of disloyalty. To depreciate and 
abuse one's native land and its institutions, 
while bestowing excessive admiration on 
those of other countries, is to do a very fool- 
ish thing and one that pleases nobody. The 
man who shows neither love nor veneration 
for the land of his birth, is usually despised 
by his fellow countrymen and by foreigners 
alike. 

In welcoming the foreign visitor, we 
should not be too eager to learn his opinion 
of ourselves and our national customs. If 
this is not altogether favorable, it may 
embarrass him to answer our questions at 
once truthfully and politely, while we dis- 
play a lack of reserve and dignity, by an 
over-anxiety to learn what others think of 
us. One should avoid the brutality of the di- 
rect challenge, " What do you think about 
America? " or " How do you like the United 
States? " It is easy to lead the conversation 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

in such a direction that the guest may have 
an opportunity to express his opinion, with- 
out being forced to do so. It is surely very 
unreasonable to ask a man what his views 
are, and then take offence if they do not 
please us; yet this is very apt to be the 
result of these naive questionings. The per- 
son who makes them is often so filled with 
admiration himself, that he thinks everyone 
else must share his feelings. Hence his 
queries are, perhaps unconsciously to him- 
self, simply a bid for sympathy and praise. 
For similar reasons, we must avoid ex- 
pressing too freely our opinions of the 
stranger's country, unless we know him well 
enough to feel sure this will not be disagree- 
able to him. It is usually safe to begin with 
the things for which one can sincerely ex- 
press admiration. On subjects where one 
is doubtful of the views of one's guest, it is 
wisest to give him an opening, in case he 
should care to state his opinion, without 
obliging him to do so by a direct question. 
One should avoid speaking of public scan- 
dals with a foreigner. In his heart he may 
entirely agree with you in condemning 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

these, but it will be painful to him to admit 
the existence of such evils in his beloved 
country, especially when he is far away 
from it. Clearly international hospitality 
demands tact and delicacy of feeling, 
yet it often gives great pleasure and profit 
to host and guest alike, and ever tends to 
strengthen the ties that unite nations and 
help to bring " Peace on Earth, Good- will 
toward Men." 

It is in accordance with Anglo-Saxon 
ideas of hospitality to entertain the stranger 
in one's own abode, if this can be managed. 
Perhaps he brings a letter of introduction 
from a friend who has shown hospitality to 
us. In this case we are anxious to entertain 
him in order to show our gratitude, as well 
as for his own sake. It is important to call 
at once and to offer any civility in our power 
promptly, as his stay may be very brief. If 
the host's household is so mounted as to 
enable him to ask the guest from over seas 
to make a visit, this is always the greatest 
attention one can pay. One would hesitate 
to do this if one were living in a way very 
different from that to which the stranger 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

was accustomed. In a word, the question 
would arise, " Can we make this gentleman 
comfortable, or is our simple style of living 
in too great contrast to his usual surround- 
ings? " If the host is living at a hotel or in 
an apartment house, he probably will not 
have room for ceremonious visitors. He will 
be obliged to content himself with inviting 
the bearer of the letter to dine or lunch with 
him, either at his own dwelling or at his 
club, and with showing the stranger such 
other attentions as lie in his power. ^ 

Travellers are not all alike in their tastes. 
Some are especially interested in charitable 
institutions, others in mercantile, civil or 
political affairs, in architecture, art or sim- 
ply in social doings. It is well to inquire 
what the especial preferences of one's guest 
are, and then to gratify them so far as pos- 
sible. An important part of international 
hospitality is the bringing the foreigner into 
relations with the people who can best help 
him to find out or see the things he cares 
most for. If he is an author, he will wish to 
meet other literary men; if he is a philan- 
thropist, he will want to see persons engaged 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

in similar work. He will probably enjoy 
meeting other people also, because one 
grows very tired of consorting always with 
those of one's own profession or especial 
line of business. 

A kind and energetic host takes great 
pains to start a visitor from foreign parts, 
on the right path. He not only puts him 
up at his own club and introduces him to 
persons in his own town or city, he also gives 
him letters of introduction to friends in other 
plarts of the country. He will be careful 
however, not to make overdrafts on the hos- 
pitality of others, nor to ask serious-minded 
and busy men and women to give time and 
thought to frivolous young people or tire- 
some old persons, occupied principally in 
amusing themselves. Ordinarily one gives 
letters of introduction only to those on 
whom one has some claim. Since the 
stranger within our gates is in a sense a 
national guest, we feel greater freedom in 
introducing him to our fellow countrymen, 
than we would in presenting the latter as 
candidates for hospitality, were they trav- 
ellers in a foreign land. We know that 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

other Americans will be glad to join with 
us in entertaining a distinguished and agree- 
able visitor or a person gathering informa- 
tion about our common country. 

As a rule, travellers like to see the dis- 
tinctly national institutions in a foreign 
land, and the features of especial local inter- 
est. A great deal of fun has been made of 
the Englishman who said to the poet Long- 
fellow: " As there are no old ruins in your 
country, I thought I would come to see 
you." Making due allowance for the blunt- 
ness of British speech, one sees that he simply 
meant to express his desire to see whatever 
of interest the country afforded. 

A little tact is sometimes needed in dis- 
playing national relics to the natives of other 
lands. We are all duly proud of the me- 
mentoes of the American Revolution scat- 
tered over the face of the country, but we 
cannot expect the Briton to look upon these 
with feelings of pleasure. Leaving the 
rights and wrongs of the question wholly 
out of consideration, these monuments must 
remind him of the loss of one of the fairest 
portions of the British Empire, through the 

[287] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

obstinacy of a King imported from Ger- 
many. Fortunately we can all miite now ' 
in laying the blame on George the Third, 
and so save the situation. 



[288] 




CHAPTER XXII 

HOSPITALITY IN MODERN EUROPE 

]HE delights of foreign travel 
are now known to a great and 
constantly increasing number 
of our people. We enjoy 
and strive to appreciate the 
matchless treasures of Art, 
the wonderful historical monuments which 
are the proud boast of the Old World. Yet 
in the midst of all these pleasures, we are 
not quite satisfied and long to see something 
of the domestic hfe of the people among 
whom we wander as strangers in a strange 
land. We know this to be an object very 
difficult of attainment; we realize that the 
inhabitants of European countries could 
not accomplish much else, if they spent their 
time in dispensing hospitality to the army 
of travelling Americans. Nevertheless we 
should so like to have a peep inside those 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

dwellings, where live men and women like 
ourselves, more interesting to us, we feel at 
moments, than all the dead bricks and mor- 
tar in the whole world. 

When we travel in the British Isles, we 
are more likely to have opportunities for 
gratifying this natural and, let us hope, 
humane curiosity, than on the Continent of 
Europe. In addition to the bonds of a com- 
mon language and race that unite us to the 
English, we share with them the traditions 
of Anglo-Saxon hospitality, which differ 
widely from the ideas of the Latin nations. 
The latter are much more chary of inviting 
strangers to their homes than the Teutonic 
races are. Neither fully appreciates the 
point of view of the other. The Latin thinks 
the Anglo-Saxon suffers too readily the in- 
trusion of outsiders within the sacred circle 
of family life. We retort by saying that he 
has no word for home and lives too much 
away from it, to understand what it means to 
those who love to abide by their own hearth- 
stone. The difference of the point of view 
may be thought to arise from the traditional 
attitude of the two races toward women. 

[290] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

With all his exquisite sentiment and gal- 
lantry toward the fair sex, the Frenchman 
has never trusted women as the Teuton has. 
His very admiration for them, the fascina- 
tion which they exercise over him makes him 
regard them as sorceresses to whose wiles 
all must succumb. In a word, he takes an 
Oriental rather than an Occidental view of 
them and his unwillingness to admit out- 
siders into his home circle, seems like a faint 
echo of the seclusion of the harem. In the 
proverbial jealousy of the Spaniard, the 
Oriental feeling is much more strongly ac- 
centuated, doubtless owing to the traditions 
left behind by the long Moorish occupation. 
The surest passport to foreign hospitality 
is the letter of introduction, to which we 
alluded briefly in the last chapter. If we go 
abroad well provided with these letters, we 
may hope that some doors at least will open 
for us. The genuine ones are veritable open 
sesames, as valuable as precious stones, and 
those who understand their worth do not ask 
for them lightly. Such a letter is in reality 
a sight draft on the Bank of Hospitality and 
no one has a right to make it, unless he 

[291] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOV/N AND COUKTRY 

knows that there are funds to meet it. In a 
word, I have no right to indite a letter to 
the native of a foreign country, asking him 
to "do what he can " (a thinly disguised 
bid for hospitality) for my friend, the bearer 
of the missive, unless that foreigner has 
received from me or mine, such hospitality 
or other kindness as to lay him under obliga- 
tion to make us a return. I have stated this 
in a verv bald and commercial wav, because 
the rules governing international comity are 
not always clearly miderstood by Ameri- 
cans. Too often travellers ask friends or 
acquaintances, on whom thej^ have no valid 
claim, for letters to persons living in Eu- 
ropean countries. It is sometimes awkward 
to refuse such a request, and letters may be 
given which are practically valueless. The 
Frencliman who receives an epistle of this 
sort will probably be too polite to say so, 
but he will not feel called upon to honor it, 
save in a perfunctory way. Bearers of let- 
ters which are thus received, can usually 
infer that these were drafts on the Bank of 
Hospitality where no funds existed to meet 
them. Even where the letters are honored, 

[292] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the American must not be surprised if the 
kindness shown does not include what we 
may call " Household Hospitality." A 
lady and gentleman met not long ago, while 
travelling in the Low Countries, a bachelor 
friend who had been frequently entertained 
by the lady's family during his stay in 
America. They were delighted at the for- 
tunate meeting and said to each other, 
" Now we shall see something of these 
charming Dutch interiors." The bachelor 
seemed equally pleased and at once ar- 
ranged a trip to a museum in the town. 
Our friends supposed the excursion would 
certainly be made in a cab, hack hire 
being very cheap in that part of the world. 
But no, the party went by trolley and the 
foreigner kindly waited outside while his 
American friends went into the museum, 
paying their own entrance fee ! Various 
other excursions of pleasure were arranged, 
all on the same frugal scale. On one great 
occasion, the excellent Dutchman took his 
charges to a restaurant and treated them to 
a tiny glass of liqueur apiece, flanked by a 
couple of biscuits. The Americans, who had 

. [293] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

indulged fond hopes of seeing their friend's 
home and of being presented to his old 
Mother, were naturally disappointed but 
greatly amused. Yet their foreign friend 
was not lacking in gratitude and at his death, 
left a handsome legacy to the children of his 
American entertainers. 

It might seem at first blush to be a small 
thing, to ask a friend in the United States 
for a letter to a member of her family living 
in some European country. This is entirely 
proper in many cases. We must remember 
that Americans residing in foreign capitals 
are often overwhelmed with domicihary 
visits from an army of tourists, now that 
ocean travel has become almost universal. 
A lady may ask a friend for a letter to her 
daughter living in London or Rome, but she 
should have too much mercy on her exiled 
countrywoman to ask the favor for a friend 
unknown both to the writer and to the recip- 
ient of the letter. To request me to show 
hospitality to the friend of a friend of my 
Mother, an entirely unknown person with 
whom I may have no bond of sympathy 
or mutual liking, is unreasonable, and yet 

[294] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

this is sometimes thoughtlessly done. The 
best way to present a letter of introduction 
is to leave it in person with one's visiting 
card, making no request however, to see 
the lady of the house. She will make the 
return call speedily, for visiting conventions 
are thoroughly organized and carefully car- 
ried out by the European, although his ideas 
of hospitality may not be as generous as 
those of the American. Or a letter of in- 
troduction may be sent by mail. 

Our people have such an inordinate social 
thirst that our diplomatic and consular rep- 
resentatives in European capitals are fairly 
bombarded at times, with requests for pres- 
entation at court and invitations to festivi- 
ties in distinguished and exclusive circles. 
Manifestly these would cease to be exclusive, 
were every one admitted to them, and our 
representatives must use their best judgment 
as to granting or refusing these requests. 
Since the number of invitations at their dis- 
posal is limited, no offence should be taken 
if one's application is not granted. The 
stories of our countrymen and women, who 
push in where they are not wanted, are such 

[295] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOV/N AND COUNTRY 

as to make the rest of us feel mortified. If 
four go to a function to which only two of 
the family are asked, Frenchmen or Span- 
iards may be too polite to say anything to 
the intruders ; but they will not fail to make 
unfavorable comment among themselves, on 
the extraordinary vulgarity of such a pro- 
ceeding. Travellers who accept foreign 
hospitality should remember that they repre- 
sent their owtl country in a certain sense, 
hence they should be especially careful about 
their dress, manners and general behavior. 
We may think the aristocratic conventions 
of monarchical countries quite absurd, but 
if we accept invitations to enter a society 
where these prevail, we must conform to its 
rules or appear ignorant and ill-bred. I 
may think myself quite as good as a duchess ; 
but if I am asked to dine in her company, 
I must always allow her to precede me and I 
must not think of going home before she 
does, as it is the privilege of the person of 
highest rank to break up the ball. One must 
also be punctilious about calling promptly 
in acknowledgment of invitations. 

The feeing of servants is such a fixed cus- 

[296] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

torn abroad that it cannot be ignored. In our 
own fortunate country, where high wages 
are paid, the case is very different; but in 
Europe, domestics are not so well recom- 
pensed as they are with us. We do not be- 
grudge them that which is in reality a part 
of their wages, though we may think it un- 
dignified for rich men and women to per- 
mit their servants to levy a heavy tax on 
all their visitors. It is in reality a sur- 
vival of brigandage or highway robbery 
in a genteel form, and is only tolerated 
because of the difficulty of getting rid of 
long established custom. Let us by all 
means keep it out of our own country just 
as much as we can, while we conform to it 
in Europe, because it is not our business to 
begin domestic reforms in foreign lands. 
The fees expected in the houses of the Eng- 
lish aristocracy are so large that people of 
moderate means can hardly afford to stay 
at these great establishments. It is cheaper 
to go to a hotel! Before making such a visit, 
it is well to inquire of some English friend 
what the exact " tariff " is, because for the 
sake of all concerned, it is best not to in- 

[297] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

crease the charge, as an American of the 
extravagant type might do. On the Con- 
tinent the fees are more moderate, though 
perhaps quite as universal. For a guest who 
dines out, to be expected to look up the cook 
and give her a remembrance, seems to us an 
extraordinary thing, yet American ladies 
living in certain towns of Germany, have 
become familiar with this singular custom. 
Society in the capital cities of Europe is 
more cosmopolitan than with us. An Amer- 
ican who is well-bred and agreeable and 
who brings good letters, may be invited to 
many smart functions, if he comes to Lon- 
don, Paris or Rome in the gay season. In 
all these cities there is an American colony 
large enough to form an important element 
in society. Travellers from the United 
States who make a stay of several weeks or 
months, may hope to see something of their 
compatriots, even though they fail to make 
the acquaintance of many natives of the 
country. The woman who is travelling for 
pleasure must remember that everyone does 
not share her hohday. Her fellow country- 
women domiciled in a foreign city, often 

[298] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

have their time fully occupied. In all prob- 
ability they will have their own circle 
of friends to visit, just as they would have, 
if living in their own country. They may 
often be glad to see some one who has re- 
cently left their dear native land, to learn 
the last news from over the sea, to welcome 
a compatriot and to give her advice or as- 
sistance, if she stands in real need of either. 
But the traveller must not be too exacting 
in her demands, for her name is now legion. 

It is usual for the official representative 
of the United States, Ambassador or Min- 
ister as the case may be, to remain " At 
home " one afternoon in the week. Visiting 
Americans are privileged to call at this time, 
although it is not usual to go more than 
once, unless especially invited to do so or 
unless an acquaintance already exists be- 
tween the parties. These visits are returned 
by a secretary or attache, who leaves the 
cards of his chief. It would manifestly be 
impossible for the latter to return in person 
all the calls which he receives, sometimes 
several hundred in a single day. 

It is often pleasant and convenient to 

[299] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

establish friendly relations with the consular 
representatives of our country, who are sta- 
tioned in all cities and large towns. This 
must be carefully and tactfully done. An 
experienced traveller of my acquaintance 
makes a practice of calling upon the consul 
and of inviting him to dine. It need hardly 
be said that their countrymen have no real 
claim upon the time or services of these of- 
ficials, except in cases of actual difficulty or 
danger. Some travellers would seem to 
imagine that the consuls in foreign ports 
have nothing to do but to attend to their 
affairs, and often call upon these gentlemen 
for all sorts of services which it is no part 
of their business to perform. Said a con- 
sular representative to a clever American 
lady with whom he had formed an agreeable 
acquaintance, " I shall hope to see you again, 
Mrs. X, and shall be glad to do anything for 
you that lies in my power, but pray don't 
send for me if you lose your cotton urn- 
hrella! " 

The traveller who is entertained in Eng- 
land may be asked to stay at a country 
house or to lunch or dine out. If he visits 

[300] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

the countries of Southern Europe, the hos- 
pitahty shown him will probably not be in 
either of these forms, nor need he expect 
such a display of food as he would see in 
England or the United States. Prudence 
and moderation in eating and drinking are 
found to be most important for the pres- 
ervation of the health in warm climates and 
Southern peoples are much more abstemious 
than their Northern neighbors. In Italy 
evening receptions are the fashionable form 
of entertainment. Social leaders are " At 
home " once, twice or three times a week. 
In Rome, one old lady of rank receives 
every evening from eleven o'clock till mid- 
night. The chief literary salon in the Eter- 
nal City, is that of a Princess who is at home 
every Sunday evening throughout the year. 
At receptions of this sort, the refreshments 
served are very simple, lemonade and bis- 
cuits or perhaps nothing at all. Sponge 
cake and wine are considered rather luxu- 
rious. More gentlemen than ladies come to 
these occasions, for in Europe men occupy 
themselves with the business of society much 
more than they do in the United States. 

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HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

It is usual for ladies to have also an after- 
noon at home, a certain day being retained 
in one family for half a century sometimes! 
To these afternoons all friends are privi- 
leged to go, from time to time, without re- 
ceiving especial cards or invitations. A 
travelling American would not of course be 
at liberty to do so, unless especially invited 
or unless taken by a friend who had the 
entree. 

The promptness with which gentlemen 
call is rather surprising to newcomers. It 
is the custom for a gentleman who has been 
introduced to a lady, to leave a card at her 
residence the next day. Her husband or 
brother returns the call at once, if the ac- 
quaintance is desired. Where a party of 
ladies are travelling without masculine es- 
cort, the mother or chaperon will invite the 
gentleman to call, dine or take afternoon tea, 
if she wishes to continue the acquaintance. 

In Paris, the American Students' Club is 
a centre of hospitality for our country- 
women of studious tastes, literary, artistic 
or musical. The hospitality is very simple; 
it takes the form of afternoon tea, to which 

[30211 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

American ladies are at liberty to come occa- 
sionally. It is not the thing to go often and 
thus wear out one's welcome. The five 
o'clock tea has become justly popular with 
the French, who have manufactured a new 
verb to express it; '' Fivo'clochettez-vous?" 
they will ask. It affords an admirable back- 
ground for the delicious Httle fancy cakes 
of which the French are so fond. Italians 
and Spaniards like it also, indeed this genial 
and mild form of dissipation seems to be 
what little Lord Fauntleroy would call *' A 
universal favorite." 



[303] 



CHAPTER XXIII 



OUTGROWN IDEALS OF HOSPITALITY 




HEN General Francis 
Marion, the noted partisan 
leader of the Revolutionary 
War, took command of his 
little band of refugees, in 
the forests of South Caro- 
lina, he was seen to limp slightly. A few 
months before this time, he had been a guest 
at a wine party at Charleston where the host 
had locked the door and put the key in his 
pocket, so that no one could escape. This 
was quite in accord with the convivial ideas 
of the time, but it did not suit our hero, 
whose temperate views were doubtless in- 
herited from his Huguenot ancestors. He 
jumped from the window to the ground, in- 
juring his ankle, and was obliged to leave 
Charleston soon afterward, as only the able- 
bodied were permitted to remain in the be- 

I 304 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

leaguered city. The Swamp Fox thus es- 
caped the fate of his fellow officers, who were 
constrained to surrender themselves soon 
after to the British Sumter, with the tears 
running down his face. 

This story is typical of the old views of 
hospitality. " Ead blendy, ead blendy, 

B , dere's blendy more in de bandry," 

said a rich and hospitable American of for- 
eign descent, to a relative at a party in the 
early days of the nineteenth century. An- 
other hostess of generous inclinations wished 
to provide so much for her guests that her 
daughters reasoned with her. " Why 
Mother, nobody could possibly eat any 
more," they remonstrated. To which the 
witty hostess replied, " Oh my dears, I 
should like to ram it down with a spoon." 

Many of us can remember when this at- 
titude of mind was prevalent among kind- 
hearted and generous hosts. The guest was 
to be treated like the Strasburg geese. The 
little boy in " Punch " who felt, after din- 
ner, as if his jacket was buttoned, was typi- 
cal of some of us, after visiting certain well- 
remembered houses. There was no escape 

[305] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

from the urgency of the lady who, with the 
most benevolent intentions, piled up our 
plates with ice cream until we nearly slid off 
the slippery hair-cloth chairs on which it was 
so difficult for little people with short legs 
to sit, especially after becoming gorged like 
anacondas ! 

This idea of profusion and abundance as 
an essential part of hospitality, comes down 
to us from very early times. Every school 
girl knows what prodigies of gluttony 
marked the feasts of the ancient Romans. 
Egyptian hieroglyphics give us wonderful 
glimpses into the rich resources of their 
kitchens, and of the sumptuous banquets of 
those who dwelt beside the Nile, thousands 
of years ago. Our fairy stories repeat the 
same idea of the delights of endless eating 
and drinking — fountains that run with 
wine and mountains of sugar candy, dazzle 
the imagination of the youthful reader. 

The increase of wealth in our own land 
and in other civilized countries, has changed 
the general point of view. Every one has 
enough to eat if not too much, every day, 
while the beneficent operations of modern 

[ 306 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

commerce prevent the possibility of famine, 
except in some case of sudden disaster. The 
relentless logic of modern science has given 
another blow to the old theories. The su- 
preme importance of being " Well-nour- 
ished " was formerly the excuse for pressing 
upon our friends a large quantity of food. 
Now the doctors unkindly say that we all eat 
too much, preaching moderation and sim- 
plicity. They go farther in many cases, as 
we all know to our sorrow, and prescribe a 
rigid diet from which most of the good 
things of life are severely excluded. All 
this has had a great effect on the relations 
of host and guest. It is now considered a 
mistake to urge one's friends to eat and 
especially to eat of a particular dish. If 
Jones has been told by his doctor that he 
must eat no red meat, it will mortify him 
if his hostess calls the attention of the 
whole table to his idiosyncrasies of diet by 
saying, 

" Why dear Mr. Jones, you are not eat- 
ing a single mouthful! I'm afraid you don't 
like your dinner — won't you have a piece 
that is better done? " 

[307] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

This to poor Jones, who has been flatter- 
ing himself that no one has noticed his gouty 
tendencies! Or to take another instance, 
Mr. Goldenmouth, the popular diner-out, 
may find it disagrees with him badly to eat 
all the courses at the numerous banquets 
which he attends. He may find it better for 
his health to take a simple meal before he 
leaves home, or to eat very sparingly at the 
houses of his entertainers. To him the vig- 
ilant hostess of the old-fashioned type, is a 
constant terror. He goes to her dinner for 
the pleasure of seeing his hosts and of meet- 
ing interesting people. Yet all the time he 
is afraid that she will be hurt or offended at 
his failure to eat or drink something which 
has been forbidden by his medical adviser or 
by his own common sense. 

While it is no longer considered " Good 
form " for the host to play the part of a 
benevolent despot, we would not be under- 
stood to counsel neglect of a guest's com- 
fort or happiness. At a dinner party he 
must be left to his own devices, but where 
he is staying in the house, or is taking a 
quiet family meal, a tactful hostess will try 

[308] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

to see that he has such food as he prefers, 
without caUing general attention to his hkes 
and dishkes, or asking for an explanation of 
them. 

It is not in matters relating to the table 
alone that the modern host allows his guest 
to enjoy greater freedom than was formerly 
customary. In the disposition of his time, 
it is now thought best, as we have seen else- 
where, to permit a visitor to do very much 
as he likes, while offering him opportunities 
for amusement and suggesting plans with- 
out insisting on their fulfilment. In a word, 
the modern host takes the visits of his friends 
more easily and naturally than his nine- 
teenth-century predecessor did. There is 
greater frankness also about the length of 
the stay. We do not now think it necessary 
to urge our guests to remain longer, as a 
matter of politeness, when we are quite will- 
ing in reality to have the visit terminate. 
Neither do we repeatedly urge them to sing 
or to display their other accomplishments, 
when they have once declined to do so. 

Another outgrown ideal of hospitality is 
that of the right of the casual visitor to take 

[ 309 ] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUI^TRY 

up the time of the host, regardless of the 
engagements and occupations of the latter. 
A woman of old-fashioned views will per- 
haps be on the point of starting to keep an 
appointment, when a caller is announced. 
Feeling that hospitality is her first duty, she 
will descend to the drawing-room and re- 
main chatting half an hour with her visitor, 
while half a dozen other women are waiting 
for her at some committee meeting. 

Far be it from us to advise the desertion 
of home and friends for outside matters, but 
modern thought recognizes the imperative 
importance of keeping engagements, espe- 
cially where we waste the time of a number 
of other persons by our failure to meet our 
obligations. In such a case the wise course 
would be to greet the friend with all cordial- 
ity and to explain to her that one is obliged 
to go at once to keep an engagement. Or 
word to that effect may be sent down by an- 
other member of the family or by a servant. 
The stereotyped phrase *' Not at home " 
has the advantage of saving all these compli- 
cations; but, while it is thoroughly under- 
stood in large cities, in the country and in 

310] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

small places people hesitate to use it, as it 
seems lacking in cordiality. 

The old-fashioned spirit of hospitality was 
certainly beautiful and it would be a thou- 
sand pities to lose it, while we recognize that 
its outward expression must necessarily 
change with altered conditions of life. We 
wish to give a cordial welcome to all the 
friends who come to our doors; even if we 
ourselves are obliged at the moment to go 
out, it is usually possible to ask them to rest 
and refresh themselves at our fireside, espe- 
cially if they have come from a distance. 
In nine cases out of ten they will not wish 
to do so, but it is always pleasant to have the 
hospitality of the roof -tree offered to one. 

A gentleman of Southern extraction and 
traditions went several miles into the coun- 
try to call upon cousins living near a large 
Northern city. Great was his rage and in- 
dignation on seeing his relatives flee one 
after another from the piazza, at his ap- 
proach. In vain did they seek to appease 
him by inviting him formally to High Tea, 
not long afterwards. He could not get over 
the shock given to his feelings by the sight 

[311] 



HOSPITALITY FOR TOWN AND COUNTRY 

of the fleeing figures, and was cruel enough 
to say: 

" Now run away, run away, all of you! 
Don't you see me coming? " 

The gracious word of welcome at the mo- 
ment of arrival, is a feature of hospitahty 
which never goes out of fashion. The guest 
who receives a cordial greeting, a warm 
pressure of the hand, will overlook many 
shortcomings, for these assure us of the 
human affection and fellowship which we 
long for most, and prize above all other 
things. 



THE END. 



[312] 



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